“DUDE, YOU’RE SO EDGY AND POLITICALLY INCORRECT. IT’S TOTALLY IRONIC AND SATIRICAL HOW YOU REGURGITATED THOSE ANCIENT AND THREADBARE STEREOTYPES. IT REMINDS ME OF MY GREAT GREAT GREAT GREAT GRANDPA, CRACKER VON PATRIARCH, WHO ALSO CHALLENGED THE STATUS QUO BY EMBRACING IT WITH LOVING TENDERNESS.”
Now that the Kickstarter period has expired and there is no chance of this raising awareness and inadvertently assisting them in reaching their goal. Let’s discuss the horrific monstrosity that is the Axe Princess Kickstarter.
When I first came across this project, I commented that I felt like it had been designed to troll Ozzie. The truth is, it’s much worse than that. In fact it’s only redeeming quality is that it showcases that trying to use sex to sell can’t redeem a horrible product’s lack of appeal.
Thanks to the Internet, depending on what characters and genres you like – it may actually be easier to find erotic themed content for them than it is to find regular content. Creating a game about boobs with an axe that has imitation of game play I can get from an old school console emulator is just ridiculous. And they do want to compete – directly.
Not only are the game play ideas from somewhere between 1987 and 1993, but so are most of the content ideas. Well, from the bargain bin from between 1987 and 1993.
Despite their list of “every popular game I remember” as inspiration, the closest franchise Ozzie and I could find to this game is Macho Women With Guns (1988). A game that was deliberately offensive and terrible even in it’s own time.
Somehow this game appears to have dodged a Female Armor Bingo simply by having the right combination of absurdity and lack of ambition.
Had they thrown some cameltoe and a thigh highs in there they’d get a double bingo! The lack of ambition is truly disheartening. Or they could even just have used one of the generic enemy sprites!
HOWEVER! Despite there being almost no updates or attempts to market this beyond asking everyone to spread the word around – the core description and the comments make this almost eligible for a Rhetoric Edition Bingo! IMPRESSIVE!
So impressive that some supporters urged them to remain true to their vision and not be “bullied”. And what a clear vision it is:
See! An artist’s vision cannot by swayed by concerns about doing the right thing, sensitivity to your fellow human beings, challenging oneself to improve on the status quo or expanding your artistic horizons. BUT it can be purchased for just under $10,000! A BARGAIN!
Still too expensive for you? Maybe they’ll just put it up for a vote if you offer them $50!
But none of this is nearly as impressive as Remy herself – according to her bio she’s the greatest fighter, the smartest thinker and the most moral person her “vast tribe” she was adopted into. And the team has done a fantastic job of displaying every single one of those traits and showing what a fascinating and complex character she is!
Strange then that she’s decided to leave her (creatively named “berserker” with a small B) tribe and become a bounty hunter who runs around in a painful outfit that provides no protection as she travels through icy mountains and even into volcano territory!
– wincenworks
First time wincenworks linked me this Kickstarter, I KNEW that the quote below, inspired by Macho Women With Guns, will roughly fit this game’s premise just as well:
“DUDE, YOU’RE SO EDGY AND POLITICALLY INCORRECT. IT’S TOTALLY IRONIC AND SATIRICAL HOW YOU REGURGITATED THOSE ANCIENT AND THREADBARE STEREOTYPES. IT REMINDS ME OF MY GREAT GREAT GREAT GREAT GRANDPA, CRACKER VON PATRIARCH, WHO ALSO CHALLENGED THE STATUS QUO BY EMBRACING IT WITH LOVING TENDERNESS.”
After further acquainting myself with this project, I’m absolutely sure its creators are a bunch of children with a single skill of animating unconvincing 8-bit boob physics (and, gotta admit, tasteful color palette choices).
Their ideas, priorities, grammar and understanding of economics are nowhere beyond the level of a middleschooler.
This thing is done by kids and no-one can convince me otherwise.
~Ozzie
PS: boobsdontworkthatway you might be interested in this game’s jiggle physics, the first gif in particular.