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Tidy Up Tuesday #90

Just a quick one this week.

Yes we are aware that a certain YouTuber has made a video giving their predictable “I like it because as a man it doesn’t effect me and I like sexy women” opinion via a video in which they also defend their “men are sexualized too and women are supposed to be sexy while men are supposed to be strong” video.  We’re not going to link to it directly since pretty much it says nothing new and its entire contents can be summed up in one helpful bingo card.

If you’re still unconvinced however, we do highly recommend this video by Ian Laspina (apparently not watched by the YouTuber) on how breastplates are actually designed, along with these comics (1, 2) from years ago explaining some of the realities of the terrible designs.

If you are curious about us addressing a long time existing title of some sort, please do try the search function as odds are good we have and we do try to tag everything as completely as we can.

~Ozzie, – wincenworks & -Icy

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@emissaryofwind submitted: 

With Sally Whitemane’s High Inquisitor skin, I didn’t want to change much, as her design has some really cool elements and style. Rather, I chose to turn her leotard thing into a coat, keeping the style of her hanging banners. After all, the idea of an inquisitor is much more closely associated with flowing robes and coats, and a leotard isn’t usually considered appropriate attire for religious leaders. 

Such a small change in the overall design, and suddenly she looks like a religious leader! I would love to see a skin similar to this one in-game, instead of what we ended up getting.

This isn’t the fault of the redesign, but covering her legs really highlights how the original artist considered Whitemane’s skin to be a color in her palette; without it, she just has red and gold, basically (the black is barely present). The original design just keeps disappointing, really.

One small thing, and granted, it’s hard to see in the picture, but I’d get rid of her ridiculous stiletto heels. I think overall, this redesign really showcases how inadequate the original is in its intent. Thank you so much for the submission!

-Icy

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bikiniarmorbattledamage:

hands-of-blue:

prokopetz:

It’s bad enough when a sci-fi setting has all the ladies wearing painted-on tights so snug that you can see all the way up their respective buttcracks, but then they go and do it with the armour, too.

Like, it’s armour.

It’s a solid chunk of heavy, rigid material.

How does that work?

How do you walk with a pair of inflexible domes tightly cupping your glutes?

Hell, how do you even stand when you’ve got a quarter-inch durasteel plate wedged so far up your ass you’re tasting metal?

Makes no sense.

@bikiniarmorbattledamage

While we’re certain skin-tight metal butt armor happens a lot in media (battle thong is by far more popular), the best, most literal examples of it from our blog were those chafiest short shorts ever:

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And this full body atrocity (whole thing is arguably NSFW, open link at own risk):

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We can also infer from some frontal images when a design probably includes a butt vacuum-sealed in metal, just like it has boobplate/metal boobsocks:

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[x] [x]

That said, butts or no butts, armor so snug it looks like shiny bodypaint/metal spandex is a blight on costume design that should be stopped.

~Ozzie

As we throwback this nightmare fuel this week, I’d just like to casually remind everyone that, at least when it comes to 3D modeling, giving a character individual butt cheeks and individual boobs is way more work than giving them actual Real Person clothes. So there are still people in the gaming industry who look at their budget, look at their specs, and then decide that, yes, spending that money on individually-modeled boobs and butts is a Good Investment.

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That’s not even metal, and even it looks physically painful.

-Icy

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Tidy Up Tuesday #89

Moar things to address

Surprised we need to say it here, but there was enough confusion in the comments and notes lately to justify it: 

We are not qualified to answer questions or comments clearly meant for the original authors of stuff we didn’t make. Asking us in Disqus comment section or Tumblr notes about content that we posted from another source (which we always do our best to credit and/or link within the post) is quite pointless. 

On the same note, commenting on some trivial non-BABD related aspect of content we posted is also rather wasteful. Please keep in mind why exactly something’s on bikiniarmorbattledamage​ before remarking on a part of it that might be incidental and unrelated. 

~Ozzie, – wincenworks & -Icy

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HOLY UNDERBOOB, BATMAN! 

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WHAT THE FUCK AM I LOOKING AT?! Icy, why did you show it to me?! T^T 

So this figure is supposedly from a fighting game with PEGI 12 rating, not a hentai… I doubt Tumblr bot will agree, but I’m willing to file an appeal, if necessary. 

Setting aside the objectively terribad costume, maybe if it was just a screenshot I could believe that this is supposed to be a dynamic fighting stance… But having this be a figure that can be ogled from every angle, I know we’re supposed to always land our eyes on her crotch and/or underboob.
That pose looks so borderline porny that I can’t help but be reminded of Greg Land’s drawings literally traced from adult movies and magazines: 

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~Ozzie