Okay, so Tumblr has permanently blocked the Mercenary Suit (which may or may not be available on the backup site… not that I would ever want to subvert our corporate overlords) so let me propose a different outfit from the same, empowering armor manufacturer: The Anti-Venom Suit!

Not only does it empower men with badassery, it stops us from being harmed by venom, poisons, toxins or Venom Snake (aka Keiffer Snake).  I mean it doesn’t promise that explicitly, but it’s right there in the title!  You can always trust what it’s in the title!

– wincenworks

Fixin’ Up Some Figurines, part 1

It’s been a while since we redid some figurines, so here we are! I decided to redesign a vampire lady made by Dark Sword Miniatures. This was a pretty fun and lighthearted one for me; I wanted to keep her Killer Abs uncovered, so I decided to make her into a gym instructor, getting that blood pumping in her students! …. Get it, cause she’s a vampire…. I’m hilarious, okay?!

It’s not armor, but I just decided to have some fun with this, considering how awkward the original is. So yeah, I just gave her a workout outfit that I’ve seen at my local gym. Here’s an example off the Internet.

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I also gave her some muscles, and some dumbbells! I thought a ponytail would be more gym instructor-esque, but I was too lazy to redraw all the hair on her shoulders, so we got a… half pony. It’s fine. It’s not like she sweats… depending on which version of vampires you subscribe to.

Enjoy my terrible handwriting too!

-Icy

Tidy Up Tuesday #96

Time to wrap up all stuff, mostly what’s stuffing our inbox.

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If you’ve ever been told by an Internet Ranty Man that curves on breastplate don’t matter because hardened steel is just great – there’s recently been an awesome video created by experts talking about arrows vs armor that talks about the importance of the curve and the subtleties in design.

It turns out that armor was in a constant stage of development through all of history because it’s complex and every little bit helps when the stakes are literally life and death.

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Please, instead of sending us asks saying “Do you want me to submit XYZ?”, send the submission, even if it’s a short one. 

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In the same vein, “Have you bingo’d/talked about XYZ?” or “Please talk about/bingo XYZ!” messages rarely get our attention, unless we were already planning to talk about their subject. 
We’re way more likely to make a requested post if sent pictures and/or commentary. 

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If we already talked about something on our blog, it is likely available via search option or an appropriate tag. Please consider checking for obvious variations before messaging us.
(tip: PC browser version of Tumblr is more reliable for searching/looking through tags)

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~Ozzie, – wincenworks & -Icy

@noknightinarmor submitted: 

What class is she? Horrifically Overpowered Titninja?

I love playing Pathfinder, but I don’t understand why someone chose this for the cover…

So I looked up what that book is supposed to be… and it’s a “What not to do” kind of guide. Fair enough, I guess? 

Quote from the publisher’s description:

We’re not suggesting any GM should allow these feats into a campaign. In fact, we advise against it. Seriously, the whole product is called “Horrifically Overpowered Feats,” which seemed like a dead giveaway that we’re not encouraging anyone to use these rules. 

Is the cover also supposed to be a dead giveaway to this being intentionally ridiculous? 🤨 Because straight-up recreating something bad/nonsensical does not yet satire make. Satirizing sexist game art is actually really hard, as @wundergeektaught us

This cover is up there with Macho Women With Guns and Special Forces as something supposedly parodying sexist depictions of warrior women media by pretty unironically reproducing such depictions. 

~Ozzie 

shattered-earth:

making edits that actually reflect equality of presentation between the two byleths in fire emblem three houses because i think the official outfits are a fucking farce 

we could have bad bad ass f!byleth instead of dressed in the dark in a hot topic byleth jesus

@shattered-earth, who contributed some really great stuff in our redesign tag (among others), never disappoints. Unlike Fire Emblem, which is always eager to indulge in blatant double standards, male-gazey female costumes and general creepyness (like the jailbait dragon). 

It seems like the designers thought the lack of pants between male and female version of FE Fates protagonist, Corrin, was too subtle and went “Hold my beer!” for the next game. 

Glad to see @costumecommunityservice‘s method of leveling the playing field in male/female design comparison employed. We just introduced a new tag for post that use it: costume gender exchange
I just wish this here dude redesign was pantless too. 

Throwing in original versions next to one another, for the reference. 

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Who the hell approved that as equal? Oh wait, we know who

~Ozzie 

h/t: Spag