No Livestream This Week

Since we’re transitioning to summer time at different rates, we’re going to spare everyone having to adjust to a weird stream time this week.

~Ozzie and Icy

kame-tan:

mysweetvilllain:

glorious-spoon:

mortuarybees:

yes i am a big advocate for realistic clothes and armor in media like

this is perfect and? extremely fucking hot

but also ive never seen anything hotter than when geralt is fighting without his armor and instead in tight pants and several of his shirt’s buttons undone and i want every fight scene from here on like that

Put the women in full plate armor, put the men in open-front shirts and tight leather pants.

Seriously. Both are sexy. Give me full plate armored women. PLEASE.

Give me open shirt, tight pants on men who wield a sword.

I will fucking eat that up like it’s my last meal.

@bikiniarmorbattledamage

This ties in quite nicely to a recent fiasco where a guy named Andrew Klavan, who is apparently an author of some sort, made an even more ignorant than usual rant.  It was about about how he hated the show because he considered it “unrealistic” that the women – particularly GoddessQueen Calanthe, were shown as capable of winning sword fights or doing a sword fight (it’s not clear).

Swords YouTube was united in their rejection of this notion – not just for his hilariously inaccurate claims about equipment but also because they unanimously agreed there are three major factors that decide who’s likely to come out of a battle second-best, and who gets to live:

  • Quality of training
  • Quality of equipment
  • Luck

Obviously a queen of a nation that regularly has battles and skirmishes would certainly have access to the best training, and commission the best quality armor – and we can all agree to that anyone who is born into royalty is lucky.

So really, if this author and those like him were upset at having to suspend disbelief about sword fighting, in a world with literal dragons, they’d be mad at these scenes with Geralt kicking ass in just a shirt.

Weird that he’s bothered by a realistic depiction of a powerful woman, but not a comically unrealistic power fantasy of a man.

Links to various YouTube videos discussing the matter below¹.

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– wincenworks

¹ If you’re wondering why one of the bigger, more self important names may be missing, its because hes already made his stance on women pretty clear – and it’s bad.

More of The Witcher on BABD 

So, the creators of Divinity 2: Save the Boobplate … sorry Divinity 2: Girls don’t play video games… sorry Divinity 2: Original Sin have shown off a couple of hours gameplay for Baldur’s Gate 3… and this is the iconic character in the intro sequence before you pick/create a character.

Which means aside from being in this atrocity, she also gets the dubious honor of being the character who we see as a fellow prisoner having a parasite implanted via her eye (then the first person scene implies its happening to you, even though she is playable as one of the pre-generated characters).

Aside from the obvious mountain of baggage to unpack about women as victims, ridiculous armor for women – accurate for men, etc.  There’s something else I’d like to point out which is probably not going to be obvious for anyone who isn’t a huge Dungeons and Dragons nerd.

Lae’zel is a githyanki, basically a near human but not human “alien” race from another dimension with a long history and pile of lore which actually makes the whole scene worse.  However, what I wanted to cover is this is what female githyanki look like in the current 5th Edition Dungeons and Dragons art:

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So for this character, Larian Studio’s entire design process has been:

  • Remove all muscle tone and threatening aspects of appearance
  • Make the worst armor more ridiculous but cutesy and hyper-feminine

Great job at depicting a race where all members are raised as warrior from birth.

Why are people calling the people story tellers again?

– wincenworks

Zenescope – Sweater Edition Part 2

Nataliya the Witch (I think)

“I think” because she looks completely different every time she’s drawn. Doing a quick Google search, I found the following:

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Cue the confused Funky Kong noises.

Based on the crown and sometimes the nose ring, let’s assume this is her. So, her backstory is that she’s a Romani witch, I guess. The comic synopsis blurb on the Zenescope website uses a different word, ~ guess which one it is. ~ 🤢 I did not know about this “backstory” when I was doing the redesign, which means it doesn’t exist anymore. Yay!

My version is a smarmy doesn’t-talk-much-unless-it’s-to-insult-you gal.

She’s got like 18 accents she switches between depending on who she’s talking to. Whenever someone asks her where she’s from (probably cause of an accent), she gives a different answer. Her motivation is to get out from her service to the Tarot, and her relationship with them has this undercurrent of bare minimum tolerance. She doesn’t even like the main character dude, but she helps him undermine the Tarot for her own reasons. She’s probably a lesbian, and her character arc involves her learning to work together with others and maybe warming to the idea of coffee dates.

Now for the actual design. I did try to fix her body as much as I could in the time we had. I decided to give her a more edgy sweater to match the face changes I did, because I just couldn’t stand that makeup and TEENY NOSE. What is this, a nose for ants?? I ended up giving her some whiskers, cause sometimes a girl has a ‘stache (I personally remove mine), and it just looked nice with her face shape.

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I also included the bra straps since the sweater wouldn’t be able to cover them, and you don’t want to chafe your nips. If this fantasy universe can have whatever the hell is the original version, it can have bras.

I really do like this bad girl look I ended up giving her, considering I have not even an iota of a clue, of what the original design was supposed to convey (besides maybe an Elektra ripoff, in the comic itself). I think Ozzie suggested the final touch of the middle finger, aimed squarely at Zenescope. 😏

-Icy

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Disgaea’s Beastmaster 

As far as I can tell, Disgaea’s character designs are the general off-the wall JRPG goodness… and badness. In fact, some character concept art makes it look like straight-up hentai game (which no, it isn’t), and out of them, this is one of the few I feel comfortable with bingoing without sliding BABD straight into NSFW category or breaking Tumblr’s hilarious nipple ban rule (yes, really – do not open in public). 

Fun fact: Beastmaster, who can at least afford underwear, is a “humanoid” class

while

the creepily naked-looking Felynn and Succubus are counted as “monster” classes. Coincidentally, all the other monster classes appear actually monstrous. Weird that the only female-coded ones look like humans with some beastly features 🤔 Gives me Digimon flashbacks. 

I’ll give them that – putting a really strange top/suspender/garter on a regular bikini, so that it holds up lower halves of otherwise nonexistent pants (how do they keep shape?), is at least creative way to display all that gratuitous flesh.
I just feel sorry for how chilly she must be all the time. And for her upper spine, cause, wow, that suspender thing is held up entirely just by her neck, not even shoulders. So uncomfortable! 

Oh yeah, and in case the usual suspects started typing – no, having some shirtless dudes in the franchise is neither by itself equal to, nor a justification for blatant objectification of female characters

~Ozzie 

h/t: @piranhaguppy