denilsonsa submitted and Icy bingo’d:

Bingo-worthy, shows how male and female characters are not treated equally. The contrast is very clear at this game cover art, and it summarizes bikiniarmorbattledamage in one picture.

Y-yeah it sure does…. ughh

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Honestly, what is even the point? You might as well be naked, going into battle looking like that. She doesn’t even look like she belongs in the setting. Also for people not in the know, this is NOT a dating sim where you’re a stud (?) with long flowing hair who’s looking for a sexy girlfriend. This game is about fighting and conquering for your royal family. With troops that wear bikinis, apparently. Fantasy~

At least the dude (the player character) has some nipple accents on his breastplate to even it out?

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Though personally, I would have just taken away 85% of his armor. When will game devs give the people what they want? 😔

-Icy

bikiniarmorbattledamage:

Thank you to icykitty for sharing the trauma of a set of armor that may actually be worse than the infamous outfit of Shahde from Prince of Persia.

– wincenworks

I like to think that the all-around badness of

this figure

kinda makes it an unintentional piece of commentary art. As if the designer/sculptor/company behind it was trying to say “You though you saw the worst of sexy female warriors? Nope, they could look like THIS!”.

And it just gets better when you turn it around and consider the anatomy… not only is her whole shoulder clearly dislocated and torso unnaturally swiveled, the sculpt of her underboobastic top makes it look as if she had an extra breast right under her armpit!

~Ozzie

Ah, sweet memories, of when I was cruising the internet for cursed content only part-time. : )

I was actually feeling optimistic lately about the state of miniatures nowadays. All the board games I play avoided this kind of low-effort designing for their lady characters. Were board game developers finally embracing the endless possibilities that not necessitating “Tiddy Out” provided??

But then I discovered that I actually living in a bubble and that a board game RPG got kickstarted in the year of our lord 2019 with this as a promised character/mini:

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That’ll teach me to have barely-mid-tier standards! 

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-Icy

Odin’s Boob Sphere Redraws: Velvet

Not sure why it’s now apparently my brand to redesign characters named Velvet, but here we are. Can you tell that this gal is a forest witch? Cause neither can I. She’s also a princess. ¯_(ツ)_/¯ I really want to see the art lead’s notes on this design, just to see what their “reasoning” was for this. “The gold jewels under her breasts are symbolic of her ties to the royal family, but she can’t see them because of her breasts obscuring them, just like she lost sight of her family!!” I don’t know.

For the redesign, I just wanted to give her some breast support (since she does acrobatics and stuff, and you don’t want to be distracted by The Jiggles), as well as some kind of pant so that she doesn’t have to worry about forest insects biting her in the crotch. This is the result of 2 iterations on both the top and the pants, in usual “me” fashion. So let’s break it down.

The red sleeves looked weird to me, so I just combined them into the black shirt. Since the belt? crotch covering? I don’t know, but since that part is also black, I just decided to make all that into the collective Shirt. On top of them is that half vest that has the hood attached. I decided to give her some jingling coins at the last minute, cause the idea of hearing her walking through the forest would be kinda eerie, and she’s apparently an expert acrobat, so they would make noise when she fights. ~It could also be seen as a remnant of her royal life,~ or something.

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As for the pants, I didn’t really have any ideas, so I just went the default “poofy pants” route, and then picked the only other color in the color scheme that wasn’t red or black. I initially was going to get rid of her butt cape, but decided to keep it cause she just didn’t look quite right without it.

I remember disliking the final result when I finished it initially, but looking at it again now, it actually looks kind of good? Maybe her shirt sleeves are a bit too short, but at least I don’t have to continuously grimace just looking at her now.

-Icy

earth-to-dragons submitted (and Icy bingo’d):

Could you guys cover something about Angela in the new Trials of Mana game? Ive been playing it but its honestly difficult just because every time I look at her outfits it makes less sense! Although I dont think Riesz is any better…

A spell-caster lady in a video game who dresses for the beach? It’s more likely than you think! This is from the recent remake, where you would think the developers would want to modernize their designs. 

You would think.

The red is her original outfit (pictured above the bingo), which is apparently the outfit a magician from a cold country wears (even though it’s in magical spring, but it’s still described as cold). The blue are added in from her worst class option… the magus.

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Why have nice things when you can cry over the sympathy pains of imagining scale mail on your crotch?

-Icy

The Soul CaliBoyfriends

We decided to post a double stream redesign of guys we sexified last year as our own submission for @magicmeatmarch​! We also decided they’re probably together.

Raphael Sorel 

Glad that Icy suggested I fixed this vampire daddy, as I had just to finish a work someone else started. That particular outfit was obviously designed by someone who was thirsty, but not allowed to go full-on sexy on Raph. Just look at those lovingly sculpted ab shapes on the breastplate (?)… and then there’s the crotch. 👀

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I seriously only followed what was already there – painted abs and pecs just as the stylized ones on his armor looked… then made his already very detailed groin area grow a size bigger and get a tiny bit more highlight, for emphasis. 

You’re welcome. 

~Ozzie

Grøh

I decided to redesign this dude who is new to SC6. Apparently he’s some kind of secret agent or something, and half of him became evil, I guess? So I figured I’d keep some of him covered to evoke that. I could have taken away most of his jacket, but because half of him is evil, he gets a bit more coverage. The stockings and boots are a reminder of his professional obligation, cause they’re so fancy and stylish. The one garter is again, a call-back to his dual nature.

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And finally, because he is A Man™

and we have to see the Dong for him to Clearly be A Man™*, I clearly outlined his junk. Just to make sure that his enemies don’t forget that he is A Man™ either, I also made his double-ended dong sword more dick-shaped on the ends.

I guess you could say that he’s a Grøhwer.

-Icy

*Just clarifying that this is all in jest, in response to cisnormative standards for women (big bazongas, camel-toe, etc). One’s junk obviously has no bearing on their gender.

Hyrule Warriors – A Link to the Pants, Part 2

Well, this one was definitely a journey. I’ve wanted to redesign this unfortunate “armor” ever since it was posted on this blog. Those who joined us while we worked on these pieces will know how much I struggled with certain aspects of this, and how much I hate the original. I had to change something about almost every element in this. I’m just so glad it’s done and I can move on with my life.

The first things I knew I wanted to do are the breastplate and pants. Then I gave her the sleeves to match her “skirt.” That was the easy part.

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After that I didn’t know what to do about her midriff, so I focused on her hair and face. I put her hair up so it doesn’t get in the way, and I just took some of her makeup away. I do this a lot, and it’s not because I hate makeup; it’s to show that you can have lady characters look good and cool and strong without giving them false eyelashes and a contour to rival Kim Kardashian. Also because women are always expected by society to wear makeup (but not look like it, that’s important), and screw that, so….

After that, the last thing to do was get rid of that idiotic corset. I had no real ideas, so I just extended her tabbard and gave her a belt to hold her tassets. It’s kind of a hack job, but I had no better ideas, and I had spent way too much time trying to come up with something. I wanted to just keep the plate armor and not add chainmail or anything… so here we are.

I still feel like I could have done better, but at least I don’t feel my blood boiling when I look at my redesign, as opposed to the original. Now I can believe that this is a woman that actually goes out into combat, while maintaining her regal air.

-Icy