HOLY UNDERBOOB, BATMAN! 

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WHAT THE FUCK AM I LOOKING AT?! Icy, why did you show it to me?! T^T 

So this figure is supposedly from a fighting game with PEGI 12 rating, not a hentai… I doubt Tumblr bot will agree, but I’m willing to file an appeal, if necessary. 

Setting aside the objectively terribad costume, maybe if it was just a screenshot I could believe that this is supposed to be a dynamic fighting stance… But having this be a figure that can be ogled from every angle, I know we’re supposed to always land our eyes on her crotch and/or underboob.
That pose looks so borderline porny that I can’t help but be reminded of Greg Land’s drawings literally traced from adult movies and magazines: 

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~Ozzie

A while ago, we got a submission of an Aspen Matthews figurine where she only had 2 1/5 pieces of bone armor on. Tumblr flagged the post as adult content, so here’s a picture:

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Turns out, there’s another bone armor version of Aspen! This one has more bones, though I would still call this 2 1/5 pieces of armor collectively, since that torso piece is not a full piece of anything, besides Disappointment. 

At least she has biceps? Though they seem to be coming out of her boobs.

-Icy

So, I was looking at the recent comics issued and I found there’s this new series that seems to feature a lovingly rendered horse… and what’s probably one of the most ridiculous outfits that’s ever been designed.

Yes… she has a steel undies on outside of her painted on pants… apparently.

– wincenworks

theoldhack submitted (and Ozzie bingo’d): 

Here is a brilliant example of how armour magically shifts shape depending on whether it is worn by a man or a woman. All rights, privileges and blame belong to Blizzard Entertainment. I do not own these images and seek no profit from them, but merely to entertain, enrage or explicate as each viewer sees fit.

Not marking “No head protection” because this is basic armor with no additional gear, like helmets and shoes, equipped, so neither male or female PC gets one. But knowing  the track record of WoW and Blizzard in general, it’s always a safe bet that those would also have their share of frustrating double standard

But feel free to check this square on your personal bingo cards, especially if you also would count this sort of panties as “thong” – you’ll get a bingo row 🙂

Marking “Skin-tight armor” though, because we can see this being tight (albeit equally for both male and female player). 

~Ozzie

@dinopasta33 submitted: 

The designs used in Windscar’s advertisement are an absolute travesty. Like, I’m pretty sure she needs more than a chiropractor with her back bent like that 

Wow, good find for BABD and for @eschergirls! The closest to this contorted promo pic I found from this game was this: 

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And generally WindScar seems to be very satisfied with looking like every other generically boobastic shit in our web ads tag.

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~Ozzie

What I find amusing about these designs is they are made by an Chinese company – but there’s almost no link to Chinese fashions, clothing, designs, etc.

These are basically Chinese artists looking at how Western artists have tried to imagine these costumes, then trying to make them kind of like the weird western fantasy designs they see in western video games.

Thus creating a cycle of terrible where some guy in a western company is now going to look at these and go try to outdo them….

*sigh*

– wincenworks

So, a while ago the ever classy Soul Calibur announced that for #6, there’d be a couple of guest characters: 2B from Nier Automata who you can dress like Kaine and Geralt from The Witcher… who you can dress like generic Geralt.

So why is Ivy* in the bingo?  Well, apparently she’s critical to 2B’s… something.

Because it seems that the marketing at Soul Calibur are now so over invested in the generic myth that never pays off that even 2B was not sexy enough, so she doesn’t even get to make an appearance until 30 seconds into her own intro.

And the story is apparently… all about Ivy for some reason?  None of it seems to fit with either game, and more importantly none of it explains why we don’t have a “just got out of the tub” Geralt costume.

Give the people what they want you cowards.

* Original bingo by Icy here

– wincenworks

Gotta love the video ending on the classy note of a panty shot.

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Thanks, I hate it!

-Icy

geistaku0719:

A while back, I found the Female Armor Bingo Card by @bikiniarmorbattledamage and I remember seeing a particular candidate for that while binge watching Anime America. So I went ahead and did the bingo card with Dragon Half’s main character, Mink! Afterwards, I thought it would be fun to do a redesign of her, and even if it took me a while to finish, here she is! I love her color pallette, btw. ;D

Now this is a legit bingo contender! I think we could also mark “Boob window” and “Sharp ornamental pieces” too, scoring another row.

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And just in case we get responses from people claiming that it’s ecchi comedy series, so any sort of non-porn sexualization goes… NOPE. Armor bikinis don’t start making more sense just because the series is made mostly of slapstic and fanservice

I really enjoy the redesign, it’s cute and simple. Amazingly, giving her pants and a shirt doesn’t make this half-dragon heroine look any less like a fantasy character. And golden greaves, bracers, pauldrons and ornamentation still communicate both fantasy aesthetic and that she has a capacity to fight.

Thank you for the bingo contribution, @geistaku0719!

~Ozzie

Elvenar continues to be the kind of game with very standard, unsexy strategy gameplay and completely unrelated marketing imagery that is basically Fantasy Porn™ (read: standard for web ads). 

And this is the sort of design that amazes me. The kind that covers over half of the Female Armor Bingo card, but doesn’t manage to score a single row. All while not being a full body image. We can only assume whether it would score high heels and/or thigh-high boots if we saw more of this poor poor lady. 

~Ozzie 

That is very uncomfortable-looking bondage clothing

– Icy 

Marking it as sensitive, just in case.

So, remember how Tekken had a “please pay for this sexy lady” DLC character? Well it turns the management at Soul Calibur thought that was genius and they’d do that for themselves.

Thankfully she doesn’t look like she’s basically an alternative version of another iconic Soul Calibur character… I mean that would be embarrassing.  Almost as embarassing as this fighting fucktoy intro.

– wincenworks

Thing I notice about Soul Calibur is that with every installment of the franchise new costume designs are introduced for established characters and they usually go the pretty straightforward path of de-evolution (see Sophitia as an example and keep in mind she’s far from the worst). 

We already devoted a couple of bingos and stream redesigns to them, but with the SC’s momentum leading up to the prophecy, we will probably never catch up completely to every awful version of every female character in the games. 

~Ozzie