The hilarious front line in the tragic war against ridiculous female armor
Tag: Female Armor Bingo
On today’s episode of Literally What Happens When You Let a Hate Group Founded on Taking Comics Away From “the SJWs” Design a Superheroine – Peregrine! Whoever the fuck she’s supposed to be. Credit to @renfamousfor the apt commentary on Twitter.
Possibly the most ridiculously physics-defying boob window we ever featured on BABD. If this was the older version of the bingo card, she’d also be scoring cameltoe.
I’m afraid the costume’s awfulness is overshadowed with the absolute mess of anatomy, and while it tried very hard, didn’t manage to score a bingo. I even crossed out “Looks nothing like the male equivalent”, as a safe bet. I’ve seen the way people in that movement draw.
While the color of her torso, including the boobs, is slightly different from her face’s skin tone, I am still marking that as an underboob (it doesn’t have to be skin to count). This chest design is pretty damn egregious, no matter how much lore would justify it with her not being human.
Needless to say, anyone familiar with how Megaman characters look knows there are no male equivalents to whatever the hell is happening to Layer’s breasts.
Also, no, designers, you weren’t clever by giving her panties and weird pant legs that do not actually connect to form real bottom outfit. It’s just gross.
So, apparently fantasy action figures are a thing that got funded on Kickstarter a while ago and this… was the… “Female Orc Conqueror” and I am… very confused what genre this is supposed to be. Because it seems like this should be for people who have a very specific vision for being conquered. (And if that’s the case, I ain’t kink shaming… just pointing it out)
To be completely honest, Summoners War probably has way worse cases of terrible female armor if you go through their monster collection, but what’s worse about this one is that she is the reward for getting through the second scenario area of the game, which means EVERYONE has her, so you have to see this monstrosity all the time.
I always feel so weird about the clash of chibi AND “sexy” aesthetic. Trying to have a cake and eat it too. There’s really not much to add about the costume itself, other than this being too painfully generic to even register. BUT it did strike a rare diagonal bingo, so congrats to Summoners War, I guess? I am sorry for all the players who are subjected to multiple copies of this running around inside the game.
So, the creators of Divinity 2: Save the Boobplate … sorry Divinity 2: Girls don’t play video games… sorry Divinity 2: Original Sin have shown off a couple of hours gameplay for Baldur’s Gate 3… and this is the iconic character in the intro sequence before you pick/create a character.
Which means aside from being in this atrocity, she also gets the dubious honor of being the character who we see as a fellow prisoner having a parasite implanted via her eye (then the first person scene implies its happening to you, even though she is playable as one of the pre-generated characters).
Lae’zel is a githyanki, basically a near human but not human “alien” race from another dimension with a long history and pile of lore which actually makes the whole scene worse. However, what I wanted to cover is this is what female githyanki look like in the current 5th Edition Dungeons and Dragons art:
So for this character, Larian Studio’s entire design process has been:
Remove all muscle tone and threatening aspects of appearance
Great job at depicting a race where all members are raised as warrior from birth.
Why are people calling the people story tellers again?
As far as I can tell, Disgaea’s character designs are the general off-the wall JRPG goodness… and badness. In fact, some character concept art makes it look like straight-up hentai game (which no, it isn’t), and out of them, this is one of the few I feel comfortable with bingoing without sliding BABD straight into NSFW category or breaking Tumblr’s hilarious nipple ban rule (yes, really – do not open in public).
I’ll give them that – putting a really strange top/suspender/garter on a regular bikini, so that it holds up lower halves of otherwise nonexistent pants (how do they keep shape?), is at least creative way to display all that gratuitous flesh. I just feel sorry for how chilly she must be all the time. And for her upper spine, cause, wow, that suspender thing is held up entirely just by her neck, not even shoulders. So uncomfortable!
Continuing with Powdered ShitBrown Dust, this thing I referenced last time just broke me and the bingo.
That is literally just a naked lady with her skin tone recolored from the neck down to pretend it’s a skin-tight outfit, with just a couple super pointy “armor” bits thrown on top as an afterthought. Calling this “bodypaint” would be kinda insulting.
While they didn’t detail in her navel or give her a cameltoe, which is so often the case with gratuitously tight “latex” outfit art, the composition DOES put a lot of emphasis on her crotch. I feel like this artwork has an uncensored nude version somewhere, that some creepy developers pass around each other.
So many question marks on the card, cause I don’t even know whether to count the ‘latex’ parts as a pretense to padding or bare skin. It definitely reads more like the latter.
Now, if you look carefully, she got a “Nipple additions” square marked because I’m counting those collar chains resting on her boobsocks. Yeah, this hair isn’t just conveniently hiding the spots where nipples would be, they obscure the kinky chains as well. Not trying to kinkshame, but what the hell even is this game’s target audience? As we established before, just looking suspiciously erotic doesn’t yet warrant that IP is aimed at/allowed only for mature audiences. And a quick check in the app store tells me it’s indeed rated PEGI 12: