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@thegreqtlilac​ submitted (and Ozzie bingo’d):

To be completely honest, Summoners War probably has way worse cases of terrible female armor if you go through their monster collection, but what’s worse about this one is that she is the reward for getting through the second scenario area of the game, which means EVERYONE has her, so you have to see this monstrosity all the time. 

I always feel so weird about the clash of chibi AND “sexy” aesthetic. Trying to have a cake and eat it too.
There’s really not much to add about the costume itself, other than this being too painfully generic to even register. BUT it did strike a rare diagonal bingo, so congrats to Summoners War, I guess?
I am sorry for all the players who are subjected to multiple copies of this running around inside the game. 

Thank you for the submission! 

~Ozzie

whiteraven13:

@bikiniarmorbattledamage

pissvortex:

pissvortex:

does anyone else keep getting that raid shadow legends ad with the fucking vagina armor demon woman or whatever

I don’t really care if this is armor or maybe her demonic skin, because she’s some sort succubus (what the hell sort of class is Temptress?), she gets a bingo: 

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Welcome, once again, to the world of PEGI 12 games that put TONS of emphasis on women’s crotches

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~Ozzie

PS: Found a promo video that shows turnaround of this character.

Remembered when I said under my redesign of Linkle’s in-game costume that it could have been bingo-worthy worse, based on the old concept art? Well, I meant it. 

I’d say Hyrule Warriors developers should be ashamed of having this sort of artwork going public, with all the tackyness of “female Link” having boobplate, bared belly and panties on top of trousers, but judging by their Zelda costume concepts, “tacky” is their status quo and shame is alien to them. 

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~Ozzie

So, the creators of Divinity 2: Save the Boobplate … sorry Divinity 2: Girls don’t play video games… sorry Divinity 2: Original Sin have shown off a couple of hours gameplay for Baldur’s Gate 3… and this is the iconic character in the intro sequence before you pick/create a character.

Which means aside from being in this atrocity, she also gets the dubious honor of being the character who we see as a fellow prisoner having a parasite implanted via her eye (then the first person scene implies its happening to you, even though she is playable as one of the pre-generated characters).

Aside from the obvious mountain of baggage to unpack about women as victims, ridiculous armor for women – accurate for men, etc.  There’s something else I’d like to point out which is probably not going to be obvious for anyone who isn’t a huge Dungeons and Dragons nerd.

Lae’zel is a githyanki, basically a near human but not human “alien” race from another dimension with a long history and pile of lore which actually makes the whole scene worse.  However, what I wanted to cover is this is what female githyanki look like in the current 5th Edition Dungeons and Dragons art:

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So for this character, Larian Studio’s entire design process has been:

  • Remove all muscle tone and threatening aspects of appearance
  • Make the worst armor more ridiculous but cutesy and hyper-feminine

Great job at depicting a race where all members are raised as warrior from birth.

Why are people calling the people story tellers again?

– wincenworks

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Disgaea’s Beastmaster 

As far as I can tell, Disgaea’s character designs are the general off-the wall JRPG goodness… and badness. In fact, some character concept art makes it look like straight-up hentai game (which no, it isn’t), and out of them, this is one of the few I feel comfortable with bingoing without sliding BABD straight into NSFW category or breaking Tumblr’s hilarious nipple ban rule (yes, really – do not open in public). 

Fun fact: Beastmaster, who can at least afford underwear, is a “humanoid” class

while

the creepily naked-looking Felynn and Succubus are counted as “monster” classes. Coincidentally, all the other monster classes appear actually monstrous. Weird that the only female-coded ones look like humans with some beastly features 🤔 Gives me Digimon flashbacks. 

I’ll give them that – putting a really strange top/suspender/garter on a regular bikini, so that it holds up lower halves of otherwise nonexistent pants (how do they keep shape?), is at least creative way to display all that gratuitous flesh.
I just feel sorry for how chilly she must be all the time. And for her upper spine, cause, wow, that suspender thing is held up entirely just by her neck, not even shoulders. So uncomfortable! 

Oh yeah, and in case the usual suspects started typing – no, having some shirtless dudes in the franchise is neither by itself equal to, nor a justification for blatant objectification of female characters

~Ozzie 

h/t: @piranhaguppy 

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Continuing with Powdered Shit Brown Dust, this thing I referenced last time just broke me and the bingo.  

That is literally just a naked lady with her skin tone recolored from the neck down to pretend it’s a skin-tight outfit, with just a couple super pointy “armor” bits thrown on top as an afterthought. Calling this “bodypaint” would be kinda insulting. 

While they didn’t detail in her navel or give her a cameltoe, which is so often the case with gratuitously tight “latex” outfit art, the composition DOES put a lot of emphasis on her crotch. I feel like this artwork has an uncensored nude version somewhere, that some creepy developers pass around each other. 

So many question marks on the card, cause I don’t even know whether to count the ‘latex’ parts as a pretense to padding or bare skin. It definitely reads more like the latter.

Now, if you look carefully, she got a “Nipple additions” square marked because I’m counting those collar chains resting on her boobsocks. Yeah, this hair isn’t just conveniently hiding the spots where nipples would be, they obscure the kinky chains as well. Not trying to kinkshame, but what the hell even is this game’s target audience?
As we established before, just looking suspiciously erotic doesn’t yet warrant that IP is aimed at/allowed only for mature audiences. And a quick check in the app store tells me it’s indeed rated PEGI 12

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Is it the creepiest PEGI 12 thing we had on the blog or do X-Blades’ ass cover and BlazBlue Centralfiction cameltoe crotch figure beat it? 

 ~Ozzie

@denilsonsa​ submitted: 

Brown Dust is a mobile game with anime characters. They are worth of bingo cards. Specially this character that has very heavy metal armour on all four limbs, but just a swimsuit for the torso. 

New year, new decade, new batch of bingos! And boy we’re starting strong. 

What a decently marked bingo card… without striking a single row. Classic “just a literal one-piece swimming suit and tons of overdesigned armor on the limbs” with a bonus od humongous shield that somehow is better protection than giving her full armor? 🤔 

“Looks nothing like male equivalent”, cause in no media available for the game any dude character looks ever remotely like that. Here are the two male wallpapers, for instance: 

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Speedos paired with only greaves and gauntlets those ain’t.
The other female character wallpaper, though… Woofaroonie! 

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I checked out also 

the comics and wow, with the way they depict women, we’ll likely get back to bingoing them a couple of times. After we’re done with that bodypaint demon above, that is. 

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This is as tame as female warriors in Brown Dust comic get to look. Seriously. 

Thank you for the submission, @denilsonsa​​, it will surely provide us nightmares bingos for the 2020. 

~Ozzie 

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This comic opens with this line, then outlines the brutal deaths of the protagonists parents in a manner plenty of people will find disturbing.  The core plot for this is the protagonist avenging her brother.

So, it’s a little confusing why ever single cover depicts her like one of her like less armoured version of a long forgotten pulp fantasy character. I mean, okay it’s a an improvement on her famous appearance in 1982:

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However at some point, the creators of these things really need to decide if they want them to be a:

  • A light hearted romp full of pulp, cheesecake and beefcake OR
  • A serious and shocking drama story about hatred and revenge

‘Cause this weird thing of wanting to have the 80s pinup camp along with the “we have serious stories” grit really isn’t going to do them any favours.

-wincenworks

From Generic Bikini, to Generic Swashbuckler. What creativity!!

-Icy