Tag: Female Armor Bingo

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In it’s “golden age”, the pen and paper Vampire: The Masquerade was distinct from Dungeon and Dragons (and copycats) due to its heavy focus on social and other non-combat solutions.  The game of course had combat, but much like in the original Bloodlines game it was generally fairly clumsy and heavy focus on it was generally heavy focus on making it as short and decisive as possible.

This made it notably popular with people who were sick of dealing with people who’d taken to expressing their toxic masculinity through superior knowledge of statistic math – and that included a lot of women.

I say all this so you’ll see that it makes perfect sense that they’d incorporate a Battle Royale variant of the upcoming Bloodlines game, and naturally show that this was going to apparently involve running around in lingerie and a leather jacket with a reverse grip on two swords in over the top action scenes.

Even more logical that in this modern fantasy game, where they could use countless items of real world gear as inspiration they apparently decided to go with this bizarre mix up gear that looks like it was randomly selected by an AI with a list of “cool” items.

This is truly the apex of Creepy Marketing Guy’s influence.

– wincenworks

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On today’s episode of Literally What Happens When You Let a Hate Group Founded on Taking Comics Away From “the SJWs” Design a Superheroine – Peregrine! Whoever the fuck she’s supposed to be.
Credit to @renfamous for the apt commentary on Twitter.

Possibly the most ridiculously physics-defying boob window we ever featured on BABD. If this was the older version of  the bingo card, she’d also be scoring cameltoe. 

@eschergirls will definitely be interested in the anatomy. Someone in the thread already did a decent breakdown of everything wrong with her body. 

I’m  afraid the costume’s awfulness is overshadowed with the absolute mess of anatomy, and while it tried very hard, didn’t manage to score a bingo. I even crossed out “Looks nothing like the male equivalent”, as a safe bet. I’ve seen the way people in that movement draw. 

~Ozzie 

h/t: @hellyeahteensuperheroes 

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Found that character in a Twitter thread about suspicious dimorphism… because of course that problem also refers to characters who are robots/AI, not only animals and fantasy humanoid races. 

Her name is Layer, she’s a Megaman X character and apparently the worst-designed member of an all-female team in which at least one other lady robot (Alia) sports a boobplate. 

While the color of her torso, including the boobs, is slightly different from her face’s skin tone, I am still marking that as an underboob (it doesn’t have to be skin to count). This chest design is pretty damn egregious, no matter how much lore would justify it with her not being human. 

Needless to say, anyone familiar with how Megaman characters look knows there are no male equivalents to whatever the hell is happening to Layer’s breasts. 

Also, no, designers, you weren’t clever by giving her panties and weird pant legs that do not actually connect to form real bottom outfit. It’s just gross.

~Ozzie 

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So, apparently fantasy action figures are a thing that got funded on Kickstarter a while ago and this… was the… “Female Orc Conqueror” and I am… very confused what genre this is supposed to be.  Because it seems like this should be for people who have a very specific vision for being conquered. (And if that’s the case, I ain’t kink shaming… just pointing it out)

Oddly, they seem to have decided in the fluff that she is a “strategist” but I can’t help but think that any strategist would probably start by covering their internal organs.  Maybe this is why female orcs are “rarer” than their male counterparts?

– wincenworks

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@thegreqtlilac​ submitted (and Ozzie bingo’d):

To be completely honest, Summoners War probably has way worse cases of terrible female armor if you go through their monster collection, but what’s worse about this one is that she is the reward for getting through the second scenario area of the game, which means EVERYONE has her, so you have to see this monstrosity all the time. 

I always feel so weird about the clash of chibi AND “sexy” aesthetic. Trying to have a cake and eat it too.
There’s really not much to add about the costume itself, other than this being too painfully generic to even register. BUT it did strike a rare diagonal bingo, so congrats to Summoners War, I guess?
I am sorry for all the players who are subjected to multiple copies of this running around inside the game. 

Thank you for the submission! 

~Ozzie

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whiteraven13:

@bikiniarmorbattledamage

pissvortex:

pissvortex:

does anyone else keep getting that raid shadow legends ad with the fucking vagina armor demon woman or whatever

I don’t really care if this is armor or maybe her demonic skin, because she’s some sort succubus (what the hell sort of class is Temptress?), she gets a bingo: 

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Welcome, once again, to the world of PEGI 12 games that put TONS of emphasis on women’s crotches! 

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~Ozzie

PS: Found a promo video that shows turnaround of this character.

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Remembered when I said under my redesign of Linkle’s in-game costume that it could have been bingo-worthy worse, based on the old concept art? Well, I meant it. 

I’d say Hyrule Warriors developers should be ashamed of having this sort of artwork going public, with all the tackyness of “female Link” having boobplate, bared belly and panties on top of trousers, but judging by their Zelda costume concepts, “tacky” is their status quo and shame is alien to them. 

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~Ozzie

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So, the creators of Divinity 2: Save the Boobplate … sorry Divinity 2: Girls don’t play video games… sorry Divinity 2: Original Sin have shown off a couple of hours gameplay for Baldur’s Gate 3… and this is the iconic character in the intro sequence before you pick/create a character.

Which means aside from being in this atrocity, she also gets the dubious honor of being the character who we see as a fellow prisoner having a parasite implanted via her eye (then the first person scene implies its happening to you, even though she is playable as one of the pre-generated characters).

Aside from the obvious mountain of baggage to unpack about women as victims, ridiculous armor for women – accurate for men, etc.  There’s something else I’d like to point out which is probably not going to be obvious for anyone who isn’t a huge Dungeons and Dragons nerd.

Lae’zel is a githyanki, basically a near human but not human “alien” race from another dimension with a long history and pile of lore which actually makes the whole scene worse.  However, what I wanted to cover is this is what female githyanki look like in the current 5th Edition Dungeons and Dragons art:

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So for this character, Larian Studio’s entire design process has been:

  • Remove all muscle tone and threatening aspects of appearance
  • Make the worst armor more ridiculous but cutesy and hyper-feminine

Great job at depicting a race where all members are raised as warrior from birth.

Why are people calling the people story tellers again?

– wincenworks

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Disgaea’s Beastmaster 

As far as I can tell, Disgaea’s character designs are the general off-the wall JRPG goodness… and badness. In fact, some character concept art makes it look like straight-up hentai game (which no, it isn’t), and out of them, this is one of the few I feel comfortable with bingoing without sliding BABD straight into NSFW category or breaking Tumblr’s hilarious nipple ban rule (yes, really – do not open in public). 

Fun fact: Beastmaster, who can at least afford underwear, is a “humanoid” class

while

the creepily naked-looking Felynn and Succubus are counted as “monster” classes. Coincidentally, all the other monster classes appear actually monstrous. Weird that the only female-coded ones look like humans with some beastly features ? Gives me Digimon flashbacks. 

I’ll give them that – putting a really strange top/suspender/garter on a regular bikini, so that it holds up lower halves of otherwise nonexistent pants (how do they keep shape?), is at least creative way to display all that gratuitous flesh.
I just feel sorry for how chilly she must be all the time. And for her upper spine, cause, wow, that suspender thing is held up entirely just by her neck, not even shoulders. So uncomfortable! 

Oh yeah, and in case the usual suspects started typing – no, having some shirtless dudes in the franchise is neither by itself equal to, nor a justification for blatant objectification of female characters. 

~Ozzie 

h/t: @piranhaguppy