The hilarious front line in the tragic war against ridiculous female armor
Tag: Female Armor Bingo
So, recently League of Legends decided to release this origin story for Lux, which has really helped showcase how terrible her design is in comparison to that of… well the rest of her culture. Right off the cover makes it look like she’s the princess to be rescued, not the heroine to reach her potential.
The best thing that can be said about this comic is that they’re depicting her within the society she supposedly came from: it’s now well illustrated how tacky and impeding that shitty boobplate would be.
If it wasn’t for the title, you’d assume this was actually a story where Garen was the hero for baby sitting a generic damsel in distress… Which is kind of horrifying when you realize Lux has been in the game for eight years, and somehow fixing her design or evolving her default into something better has never occurred to the folks in charge.
In relation to an Overwatch League event two new exclusive skins were released, and one of them is an off-brand Camilla from Fire Emblem… I mean generic JRPG waifu… I mean Atlantic Mercy >_> CREATIVITY!
Unlike Camilla’s, her boobs might be all covered, but the shape and color contrast of the chest piece make sure that our attention goes to them first!
The outfit, though, I think, justified doing a bingo. It’s basically a one big “don’t” in dos and don’ts of costume design.
She’s clearly a magic user, though, why would she need clothes that make any sort of sense or keep her warm? Maximal skin exposure, with complete disregard for functionality and physics, is all that matters!
One of these things is not like the other~
Definitely not a high-scoring design, but it’s still baffling enough that I wanted to showcase it. This is Clery the cleric high priestess from a recently-released JRPG named Azure Saga: Pathfinder (as the logo says).
We seem to have feathers as a motif, but it’s like it got forgotten halfway through. There’s no consistent shapes aside from the (apparently) holy symbol, except then there is a different symbol on her shoulder. And the “how does it attach” square is marked specifically for that pauldron being hot-glued to her skin, presumably. (In her in-game sprite, her sleeve is attached to it and it looks better, even though it still wouldn’t be useful as armor without further support.)
At least she’s not wearing heels, but her boots look like the last thing to be designed, when they had no ideas left.
On a positive note, this might make good livestream material, along with one of the other lady characters in this game:
Well, based off the visuals yes… but if you were were using a screen reader you’d be forgiven for understanding it was going to be an action orientated first/third person shooter (though according to the Twitter it’s a superheroine game, and the Steam “mature content” screen says battle arena) and even though the game isn’t out their site advertises:
Her shoes looks stylish and comfy, I’ll give her that. Other parts not only serve zero protection against weather and battle damage, they also look like they’d slip off from her body within minutes of moving around.
I feel ya, Dorothy, I am also appalled at what passes for clothing in Zenescope’s Oz. Are clothes taxed per inch of fabric in the West?
Have you ever looked at L. Frank Baum’s books about a land ruled and influenced by strong, complicated women, and thought “man, I wish these characters were drawn like plastic dolls by J. Scott Campbell so I could masturbate to them”? Well then, do we have the series for you!
(We also recommend you find actual people to interact with, we’re worried.)
Not technically armor, but I know 0 people who would wear this fabric scrap in real life. I guess J. Scott Campbell* knows more people than me… who are imaginary. At least Dorothy over there is wearing what might pass for clothes. I don’t even know what to call the Wicked Witch’s…. bodily coverings.
At least the series doesn’t fall into the Evil is Sexy trope, since everyone is barely allowed clothes? Yay?? ?
My eyes, upon seeing Zenescope’s idea of what “Kansas Farmgirl” and “Powerful Evil Witch” look like:
* I realize Campbell may not have had any input on these character designs, but it’s just the sort of thing he would design, so he still gets 0 points.
I like me some goth characters with perky attitude (that smile is adorable!), and Jen was actually based on the woman who did this miniature’s paint job, but wow is that costume some generic fantasy garbage, scoring some typical bingo points without hitting a single row.
Obviously not the worst we’ve seen, just disappointingly uncreative.
I saw this magazine in tesco and stared at it for a good minute just going ??? This is the cover image they chose for a magazine about the *essential* things for fantasy artists to learn, and doesn’t that just say it all?
We featured this magazine on the blog before, but it never got bingo’ed! Now that’s been rectified.
This design honestly looks like when you’re drawing the figure to figure out pose and what not, and end up putting way too much detail into it that you like. And then you feel bad for having to put clothes on top of your hard work, so you just kinda… stick some liquid metal to the essential areas, add some small decorative pieces, and call it good.