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Continuing with Powdered Shit Brown Dust, this thing I referenced last time just broke me and the bingo.  

That is literally just a naked lady with her skin tone recolored from the neck down to pretend it’s a skin-tight outfit, with just a couple super pointy “armor” bits thrown on top as an afterthought. Calling this “bodypaint” would be kinda insulting. 

While they didn’t detail in her navel or give her a cameltoe, which is so often the case with gratuitously tight “latex” outfit art, the composition DOES put a lot of emphasis on her crotch. I feel like this artwork has an uncensored nude version somewhere, that some creepy developers pass around each other. 

So many question marks on the card, cause I don’t even know whether to count the ‘latex’ parts as a pretense to padding or bare skin. It definitely reads more like the latter.

Now, if you look carefully, she got a “Nipple additions” square marked because I’m counting those collar chains resting on her boobsocks. Yeah, this hair isn’t just conveniently hiding the spots where nipples would be, they obscure the kinky chains as well. Not trying to kinkshame, but what the hell even is this game’s target audience?
As we established before, just looking suspiciously erotic doesn’t yet warrant that IP is aimed at/allowed only for mature audiences. And a quick check in the app store tells me it’s indeed rated PEGI 12

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Is it the creepiest PEGI 12 thing we had on the blog or do X-Blades’ ass cover and BlazBlue Centralfiction cameltoe crotch figure beat it? 

 ~Ozzie

The Masculine Beauty of Superhero Figure, Part 1

Time to fix a Sideshow Toys figure! With male empowerment!

The modular design of Iron Man’s armor lent itself really great to a sexy redesign. Tons of clean lines to replace metal plates with some hot, hot bare skin and also anatomy-inspired detailing that served as a reference to painting his musculature. 

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I also decided while getting rid of the whole helmet might be against keeping Tony’s hero persona iconic, I did  leave out the lower part, giving it the jawline from the figure’s creepily realistic replacable Robert Downey Jr. head.

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The only actual changes to metal pieces on his costume I did were: 

  • moving those glowy things under his pecs to right over his nipples – glowy nipple armor for the win!
  • changing the shape of his shoes to super pointy heels (also very smol size, because if female designs aren’t allowed to have feet proportional to their bodies, why should male?)
  • giving him an oversized codpiece, so that we know he’s very confident in his masculinity ? 

While I went lazy on the rendering of repainted parts, I’m still quite happy with the results. Hope you guys agree. 

~Ozzie 

iiphides submitted:

Found in a pop up while I was trying to watch something. 

Plus bingo cards! The gal on the left is the green board, while the right is purple.

Wow are those extremely awful (with @eschergirls​ anatomy on the left one, to boot!), I’d say your scores are very lenient.
Sorry to do a rare bingo correction, but those two are SO over the top physically impossible and ultrasexualized I think they deserve cards as fully crossed out as possible: 

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(Also, I’m using the most recent bingo card design (1.2), we grew quite tired of the “No underwear” square and discussions on what it means)

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Okay, so the left one, with her “Hot Chick With a Sword” aesthetic has a pretense of being a warrior. What the other one’s supposed to be, aside from, well… 

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…a sorceress? …a cleric? …a double sided tape commercial cleverly disguised as a burlesque strip tease?

~Ozzie 

This game’s apparently supposed to be a “Greek Mythology Browser Game.” I don’t think it’s physically possible to squint hard enough to make that come across in any way.

Also, is it just me, or do those 2 ladies look like they were made for 2 different art styles? Not to mention, this “promotional material” is orders of magnitude more shameless about the sexy girls than any other art on their website.

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Although the “clothes” are still as confusing, so… at least that’s consistent?? 

-Icy

edit: Readers informed us that art in that web art is stolen. Surprising no-one, game with porny marketing is an asset stealer.

Warhammer Battle Bikini Brigade (and more)!

@universe63 submitted: 

From this article

This was the first image in the rotating slides for the article about Warhammer: Total War.  It doesn’t get much better.  Later in the article we have these two Dark Elves.

Even his frickin’ FACE is covered, but for her?  Armor?  NOOOOoooooo. We get… whatever those things are on her boobs that are going to gut her like a fish if she bends over and can’t possibly stay on without glue or piercings.  I guess all her armor budget went into that hat.

OTOH, after showcasing the horrible, I wanted to showcase the one good female armor in there:

…but you have to scroll through tons of images (including more bikini armors) before you can find this one.  And I can’t tell for sure if it’s a trick of the light or if she actually has a bare middrift because reasons. [sigh]

Personally I think the greatest display of priorities in these designs is this piece of concept art which could almost be “spot the difference” game:

(And in case there is any doubt as to whether this is the artist or the studio/Games Workshop’s decision, I invite you to compare and contrast with the other works in Evgeniya Egorova’s Artstation gallery)

Yeah.

As is so often the case with Warhammer (and many other fantasy settings), there’s so many things to unpack in these: Bikini armorEvil is sexy, and of course: Nipple armor.

The worst part is that I can’t even bring myself to be surprised.

– wincenworks

bikiniarmorbattledamage:

shattered-earth:

I could do this all day 


She will fit into your favorite moba game very good character garanteed

Edit: Holy shit it’s a joke please stop tagging this as reference/helpful/wow so good please stop using this as reference please stop thinking this is your goal please stop holy crap holy cRAP

You need to seriously re-evaluate  yourself if you believe the incredibly narrow and offensive things in these gifs oMgGG

Everything about it is so painfully accurate, but the “Pick ≤ 3” part is my favorite one for the purposes of this blog.

~Ozzie

I love how pasties are the only essential chestware and how the actual high heels are not “necessary” just so long as her shoes maintain the same shape as if there were heels there.

– wincenworks

edit: Added the author’s later commentary, just to make it clear that no-one’s supposed to take this “tutorial” seriously. ~Ozzie

Because the subject of “just let the artist do whatever they like/want!” comes up regularly and far too many people are confused about what is wrong about nearly every female character looking next-to-identical, even within one game with a big cast*, this week’s throwback is the guide to the “creative” process behind designing women in media AND their costumes (bikini armor or otherwise) by the invaluable @shattered-earth.

And just for the record, this gifset is still a joke. Please do not take it as legitimate art advice!

~Ozzie

*See the problem illustrated and discussed for: League of Legends | Overwatch | SMITE