The hilarious front line in the tragic war against ridiculous female armor
Tag: bikini armor
I feel ya, Dorothy, I am also appalled at what passes for clothing in Zenescope’s Oz. Are clothes taxed per inch of fabric in the West?
Have you ever looked at L. Frank Baum’s books about a land ruled and influenced by strong, complicated women, and thought “man, I wish these characters were drawn like plastic dolls by J. Scott Campbell so I could masturbate to them”? Well then, do we have the series for you!
(We also recommend you find actual people to interact with, we’re worried.)
Not technically armor, but I know 0 people who would wear this fabric scrap in real life. I guess J. Scott Campbell* knows more people than me… who are imaginary. At least Dorothy over there is wearing what might pass for clothes. I don’t even know what to call the Wicked Witch’s…. bodily coverings.
At least the series doesn’t fall into the Evil is Sexy trope, since everyone is barely allowed clothes? Yay?? ?
My eyes, upon seeing Zenescope’s idea of what “Kansas Farmgirl” and “Powerful Evil Witch” look like:
* I realize Campbell may not have had any input on these character designs, but it’s just the sort of thing he would design, so he still gets 0 points.
I saw this magazine in tesco and stared at it for a good minute just going ??? This is the cover image they chose for a magazine about the *essential* things for fantasy artists to learn, and doesn’t that just say it all?
We featured this magazine on the blog before, but it never got bingo’ed! Now that’s been rectified.
This design honestly looks like when you’re drawing the figure to figure out pose and what not, and end up putting way too much detail into it that you like. And then you feel bad for having to put clothes on top of your hard work, so you just kinda… stick some liquid metal to the essential areas, add some small decorative pieces, and call it good.
(The title is not a joke on Awakening, I know Nyx is not from that game.)
So, doing redesigns for the game series that keeps on giving… its lady characters no pants. I don’t even care if they’re garbage pants, can they please have something, so that they’re not riding frigging scaley wyverns with bARE LEGS-
Most of the edits I did involved giving her an actual shirt, rather than…. uhh?? … as well as some PANTS. I also broke up her shoes into two parts mostly for the design aspect. Such tall thigh-highs make any non-leggings look weird. The last big change was her veil, which I tried to make a little more realistic-looking. I’m not sure how, in the original, the veil is supposed to be hanging down, but then be behind her long bangs that fall close to her face??
The dark skin-tone parts on her clothes are opaque, by the way. I was just too lazy to come up with another color for them, to be honest. This was definitely one of those streams where I was struggling to work with what I had… I probably could have done a better job given more time, but I’m fairly happy with it as it is now. I promise I’ll do a non-mage the next time we redesign Fire Emblem ladies.
Sooooo….. this is a thing.
This the Demonic skin for Aurelia, an angel character in Heroes of the Storm. She normally looks like this:
So of course when she becomes a demon (or almost, according to the backstory blurb), she wears an S&M outfit, cause that’s what demons are about? Where’s my S&M Azmodan skin, then, Blizzard??
The closest a male equivalent outfit gets is the Demonic Imperius skin, where he shows off his abs but unfortunately doesn’t wear a leather harness.
At least he wears hot pants, but at the same time, he gets, like, a legitimate chest piece. Auriel is getting a nip slip the second she casts anything, assuming angels have nipples. Imperius also has an actual demonic appearance about him, whereas Auriel is just a Hot Chick with red wings. The fact that none of the angels have faces only makes it worse with her design.
This was our first attempt at fixing some of the most egregious excuses for costumes we could find in Soul Calibur games. Both those heroines would return to our streams on other occasions (including a special, already released post).
My mortal enemy, Ivy Valentine’s declining standard in outfits. Ugh. I chose her because I love to play her when I do get to play SC (not often these days), and because she’s supposed to be a Machiavellian Immortal Super Villain (sort of), and boy, do none of the lingerie designs communicate any of this.
I picked this concept art from SC5 cause at least it’s redeemable. I always liked her more suit-like designs, because that shows off her personality better, I think. So I went with that and gave her a functional, high-class (cause her fam’s rich) kind of suit. Due to a personal preference for 3-piece suits, I gave her a vest to go with it. I mean, she’s still hot as hell.
I gave her pants, obviously, and of course, actual shoes with thick, sturdy riding heels. My last addition was this thigh sword sheath thing, because I didn’t want to break the lines on her waist and hips with a belt, but it might have been better to give her a belt sheath that hangs in the back. Like this:
It’s not as silly and I could hide the belts under her suit or something. I also wanted to incorporate the snake motif more, so I did a derpy sketchy one on her knee there.
Oh, and the face!
I hope Cassandra is proud.
Tira’s aesthetic not only is “poor man’s Harley Quinn”, it’s also clothes so incredibly tattered, there’s no way they’d stay up under any circumstances.
I wasn’t particularly inspired during that streaming session, so I concluded that as long as her clothes look wearable, it counts as improvement.
Can’t say I’m all that proud of overall design, especially the cut of her blouse and pants, but they came out of desperation to save her from chilly winds and to layer the tights and undershirt I gave her. I guess it’s supposed to be a vaguely clown-like outfit without resembling Harley’s. Got the pink for the tights from her eye color and super faded pink-ish highlights in her hair…
…speaking of which, since her weird pigtails looked detached from the rest of the hairstyle, I got rid of them altogether and left her with a bob. Then recolored (and added some more) highlights matching her overall color scheme.
While the clothes I gave her are a big meh, I’m quite proud of the changes to her face, expression and makeup. Tira is supposed to be super unstable, so a runny mascara matches her personality much better and gives her more intense gaze. Also two-colored lipstick, to compliment the highlights. And I gave her much bigger mouth with more wicked smile, a bulbous nose and a unique jawline – now you can recognize this lady by her facial features, not just color scheme. You’re welcome.
What do you mean this character is NOT a result of semi-incestious relationship between Angela and female Thor? Wait, this is supposed to be… Baba Yaga?
A while ago, we got a submission of an Aspen Matthews figurine where she only had 2 1/5 pieces of bone armor on. Tumblr flagged the post as adult content, so here’s a picture:
Turns out, there’s another bone armor version of Aspen! This one has more bones, though I would still call this 2 1/5 pieces of armor collectively, since that torso piece is not a full piece of anything, besides Disappointment.
At least she has biceps? Though they seem to be coming out of her boobs.
So, I was looking at the recent comics issued and I found there’s this new series that seems to feature a lovingly rendered horse… and what’s probably one of the most ridiculous outfits that’s ever been designed.
Yes… she has a steel undies on outside of her painted on pants… apparently.
Here is a brilliant example of how armour magically shifts shape depending on whether it is worn by a man or a woman. All rights, privileges and blame belong to Blizzard Entertainment. I do not own these images and seek no profit from them, but merely to entertain, enrage or explicate as each viewer sees fit.
Not marking “No head protection” because this is basic armor with no additional gear, like helmets and shoes, equipped, so neither male or female PC gets one. But knowing the track record of WoW and Blizzard in general, it’s always a safe bet that those would also have their share of frustrating double standard.
But feel free to check this square on your personal bingo cards, especially if you also would count this sort of panties as “thong” – you’ll get a bingo row 🙂
Marking “Skin-tight armor” though, because we can see this being tight (albeit equally for both male and female player).