WoW Armor Switch

Like with Saint Seiya Online and Riders of Icarus before, we subjected some armor double standard in Blizzard’s MMORPG classic to a switch of designs between genders. 
After all, if those are supposed to be exactly equal in function, then why not make the dudes show off their flesh? 

Jade Set

This was a relatively laid-back stream. I was actually pretty surprised that we had not tackled WoW in a stream before! I ended up picking the Jade Armor just because of that underboob… it was just taunting me… I had to do it. It wasn’t my fault! Please, don’t–!

So besides switching the outfits between the 2 characters, I also switched their facial expressions! I gave the maaale an attractive, nonthreatening smile, while making the lady more intimidating. I also added the at-this-point Patented Icy Redesign Dick. I mean, if we can’t tell he has a penis, how are we supposed to know he’s a man, Blizzard?? How???

-Icy 

Glorious Set

This change was pretty basic copypasting job with adjustments according to character silhouettes. Bonus change was giving the guy’s cool braids to the lady, as she deserves an interesting haircut as well! 

~Ozzie

Raid Shadow Legends is a game that hilariously has ridiculous bikini armor and chose not to put it into their marketing. (Which clearly has an epic budget)

Why? Well perhaps they figured out after the fact that if you’re trying to make a game about begin an epic hero that’s kind of undermined if your “hero” looks like they’re showing up for a fantasy themed lingerie shoot.

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So naturally they did the only thing they could to make their product seem credible – they tried not to draw too much attention to the bikini armor in the promotional material and put a cheap She-Ra rip off in as the tutorial:

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– wincenworks

(And yes, it is my opinion that “protection from light strikes with small objects at one point of my forehead” does not count as “head protection”)

enecola:

Another game I’ve never played but felt that it would be fun to do an armor fix for!

BlackRose from .hack

I remember back in the day I thought she looked really cool, and that hasn’t really changed but I wanted to just give her some protection.Also what kinda sword is that I am so confused.

Man, this brings back memories. Mostly of a very depressed and quiet protagonist either sitting around or looking confused/concerned at various set-pieces. (Can you tell that I found the series boring?) Oh, there was also a cat lady. In the games, at least.

I really like the redesign! There are so many small but great changes, like the pattern on her stomach that breaks up the large overall shapes much better than in the original (what large shapes). I especially like the knee guards; they make it really obvious how the original’s inclusion of teal/grey is not enough to tie the design together, but it looks great in the redesign.

I’m also not mad about the sword being changed; I always wondered how it attached to her, even when I used to watch the show.

-Icy

Contrary to her appearance, Arnice here is not in fact another card from Granblue Fantasy; she is actually the protagonist of a real RPG, Nights of Azure, where she transforms into various demon forms to fight things. This post is only about her main look, because each of her 5 alternate forms can warrant its own bingo.

Her design reminds me a bit of Velvet from Tales of Berseria, except they have the opposite problem in the front: Velvet has a bare stomach, and Arnice has bare sides and back. I suppose that putting them together will make one good design, at least from the waist-up.

Also, I checked whether that tiny piece of black fabric on her hips is a skirt or shorts, and it’s a skirt, because of course.

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It seems we also have another attack of the Samus Piss Shoes

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-Icy

Aphrodite in Lingerie, How Original 🙄

When picking out a goddess out of the SMITE pantheon to redo this time, I decided I wanted to try to make a “sexy” design that doesn’t rely on the Victoria’s Secret catalog. So here we are.

I didn’t change her body proportions at all, I only took the “in bra cup” shape out of her boobs. I gave her a draping shirt that’s more similar to ancient Greek attire. Isn’t it weird that the male Greek gods are designed to look more inspired by ancient Greek styles…. hmmmmm.

I did not give her pants, due to the ancient Greek influences, but I decided to make something out of the fact that she floats (for whatever reason). I ended up giving her a weighted skirt that would drag behind her when she moves. I imagine she could use it to great effect to look sexy or intimidating.

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I left the belt in-place mostly because I didn’t have anything better to replace it with, but it’s definitely a bit much for the redesigned version. I think my shapes ended up being all over the place, but it’s still more interesting than the original. And I didn’t have to rely on lingerie for my design, what a shocker.

And last but not least, I changed her face to have more of an attitude and confidence.

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Being beautiful and sexy doesn’t mean only having a specific type of face.

-Icy

SMITE’s Freya Still Desperately Needs Pants

The original here is actually an updated version of Freya. As many characters in SMITE, she went through a few redesigns over time, with arguable quality of improvements (comparison source): 

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The redesign

This is the second character named Freya which I fixed, and this one also got a questionable update between getting bingo’d and redesigned on our platform. I swear it’s a total coincidence. 

SMITE’s standards are below the bottom, so of course while she no longer had gravity-defying metal pasties for a top, it’s still a skin-tight boobplate

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I didn’t go particularly wild with fixes this time. I liked the ornamentation and accessories well enough to leave them be, so the changes are limited to the shape of the breastplate and big blue gambeson under all of it. Thanks to it her pretty necklace suddenly popped out, since color theory is still a thing. ¯_(ツ)_/¯
Blue because it matched her existing color scheme, including those tacky Pict-like tattoos, which are already a cliche on many Norse/Viking characters, for some reason. 

Not my most creative or labour-heavy redo, but I hope you guys like it!

~Ozzie

One of these things is not like the other~

Definitely not a high-scoring design, but it’s still baffling enough that I wanted to showcase it. This is Clery the cleric high priestess from a recently-released JRPG named Azure Saga: Pathfinder (as the logo says). 

Besides the lack of pants, or even a skirt really, and the top ripped off from another franchise with Pathfinder in the name… it’s just not cohesive as a design? It isn’t even an aesthetically-pleasing excuse for cleavage. 

We seem to have feathers as a motif, but it’s like it got forgotten halfway through. There’s no consistent shapes aside from the (apparently) holy symbol, except then there is a different symbol on her shoulder. And the “how does it attach” square is marked specifically for that pauldron being hot-glued to her skin, presumably. (In her in-game sprite, her sleeve is attached to it and it looks better, even though it still wouldn’t be useful as armor without further support.)

At least she’s not wearing heels, but her boots look like the last thing to be designed, when they had no ideas left.

On a positive note, this might make good livestream material, along with one of the other lady characters in this game:

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Oh no, is that a Green Archer Lady??

-Icy

Okay, so I know what you’re thinking – this game that is named uncomfortably close to the female wing of the Hitler Youth but is probably aimed to capitalize on League of Angels is clearly just a cheap porn game right?

Well, based off the visuals yes… but if you were were using a screen reader you’d be forgiven for understanding it was going to be an action orientated first/third person shooter (though according to the Twitter it’s a superheroine game, and the Steam “mature content” screen says battle arena) and even though the game isn’t out their site advertises:

That and well, this is not the first time it’s appeared on BABD… in fact it’s got a little bit of a history – but it’s still not out yet.  The actual core product itself is not for sale two and a half years later.  It’s like the opposite of asset flips and shovelware yet somehow worse.

Of course, the last patch to the game was over a year ago but apparently it’s coming soon to steam and was high up on the “female protagonist” tag search.

So glad that Steam doesn’t see the need to do any manual curating. 

– wincenworks

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I feel ya, Dorothy, I am also appalled at what passes for clothing in Zenescope’s Oz. Are clothes taxed per inch of fabric in the West?

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Have you ever looked at L. Frank Baum’s books about a land ruled and influenced by strong, complicated women, and thought “man, I wish these characters were drawn like plastic dolls by J. Scott Campbell so I could masturbate to them”? Well then, do we have the series for you!

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(We also recommend you find actual people to interact with, we’re worried.)

Not technically armor, but I know 0 people who would wear this fabric scrap in real life. I guess J. Scott Campbell* knows more people than me… who are imaginary. At least Dorothy over there is wearing what might pass for clothes. I don’t even know what to call the Wicked Witch’s…. bodily coverings.

At least the series doesn’t fall into the Evil is Sexy trope, since everyone is barely allowed clothes? Yay?? ?

-Icy 

My eyes, upon seeing Zenescope’s idea of what “Kansas Farmgirl” and “Powerful Evil Witch” look like: 

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~Ozzie 

* I realize Campbell may not have had any input on these character designs, but it’s just the sort of thing he would design, so he still gets 0 points.