Let’s play a game of Pinups or Enemies! Place your bets, humans and non-humans; are these ladies just traced off of pinups, or are they an actual enemy in a game the player is supposed to take seriously?

(Probably both.)

These are the misleadingly-named Elite Guard from Wolfenstein 2009. Besides the concept art above calling their (using this term in the broadest possible definition) “uniforn” a “standard Nazi issue skin tight leather outfit,” even the wiki page on them understands that they’re ridiculous:

The Elite Guard (German: Elitegardinnen) are special SS squads consisting entirely of women and are the only female enemies seen in Wolfenstein. They wear revealing black body suits, and, being the only females, stick out instantly.

They come in Blonde and Brunette types; just like all the male enemies in the game, right?


Oh… weird, they’re all wearing masks. Well, maybe the developers added masks to the in-game models to make them consistent, but left their hair exposed.


Oh… Maybe the player is supposed to be scared that their rib cage is actually shaped into breasts? I’m not quite sure. 

My personal conspiracy theory is that the Double-Sided Tape Industry is exporting their product to both sides of every conflict with some promise of “combat benefits” and everyone’s just so desperate for any perceived advantage.


h/t:  @tea-rannosaurous