Chainmail bikinis: Let’s NOT repair her armor!

@gffollow submitted:

So Destructoid posted and article defending chainmail bikinis and it filled with the typical “it’s empowering” and all that jazz. So I did the rhetoric bingo and the above image is what I came up with. Pink is for statements clearly stated while green is for statements that weren’t explicitly stated, but were implied, at least to me. (Clicking on the image links to the article)

Okay, so let’s have a look at this…


(It also goes without saying that if you don’t want your head to explode, DO NOT LOOK IN THE COMMENTS SECTION)

Firstly, after going on about how he’s disappointed he couldn’t give his catgirl giant boobs, the author poses the question of why shouldn’t an MMO cater to all the private fetishes, or at least all the ones he likes…


Glossing over that Final Fantasy XIV is a rare game with pretty good gender equality in bikini armor and that it’s not clear if he’s aware that other people in the MMO can see his character – he then moves from saying the decision shouldn’t need to be justified… to trying to justify it by oversharing in a way I really, really, really wish he hadn’t:


It was really not necessary to share any of that. But notice the bit trying to write off hyper-sexualization of his avatar (remember he wanted massive badonka-donks on her) as non-sexualized expression of his own femininity.  I think we can safely check off “normal armor would make her look too much like a man”.

I could probably write an entire thesis on all the manipulation tactics compressed into this article, but the summary is that he thinks games owe him the unquestioned right make whatever ridiculous female characters he wants, and if it’s not in every game ever…


This post is particularly terrifying because it was featured by Destructoid’s brand new Community Manager (and literally the first thing they did in the role).  Who seems to hold some strange double standards:


So naturally it makes sense the first thing they featured was a bizarre bit of rhetoric that tried to justify all the usual nonsense and put down a site that focuses on how characters could be improved… while creepily claiming that the objectification of women is vital to the comfort of men’s sexuality.

I really don’t see myself being interested in joining the Destructoid community any time in the foreseeable future!

– wincenworks

Even just skimming through that article glorified rambling makes me go:


It’s quite amazing how, while usual bikini armor rhetoric is brought up, most of the text is devoted to reassuring that the author is opinionated and that his personal preferences should be validated at all times (and never challenged) by whatever video game he’s playing… For the reason that he is (supposedly) highly educated and liberal?


It’s just one step away from declaring “I know words, I have the best words.” as his winning argument. 

Hint: whether your voice is valid in a conversation doesn’t depend on who you (think) you are, but what your words and actions contribute to the discussion. And no amount of claims that you’re an intellectual is going to matter if what you say directly contradicts this.

I would also check the “It’s (just) fantasy/sci-fi! Magic/science protects her!” square. In pink, as he says “enchantments are what provide the extra protection in high level equipment”.


more Female Armor Rhetoric Bingos on BABD