Nords: Heroes of the North* would be a really nice-looking game… if the artists were allowed to put the same kind of effort into female characters as the male ones.

While men have consistently cartoonish proportions and interestingly stylized wardrobes, women fall squarely into the standard of conventionally pretty and thin models clad in bikini armors.

Here’s how male and female orc designs compare:

Also why is this blue-skinned monstrous race generically named orcs and not Jotun, the frost giants? That would give the game more genuine nordic flare and some unique identity.

Much needed identity, considering their elves look like lifted straight from WoW:

Not surprisingly, this title comes from a repeat offender: Plarium, the publisher behind such creatively marketed games as Stormfall and Sparta the War of Empires.

If it’s of any consolation, I found one (1!) lady with design priorities similar to the male characters (at least body type-wise):

Well that’s some impressive female viking. Now give her a proper armor and she’d be almost as awesome as Thora from Jotun! Almost.

~Ozzie

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again – the bikini armored warrrior woman riding an arctic beast trope reached it’s apex in 1990.  Just let it go guys, and take comfort in knowing that no matter what you did, it could never have been more awesome than an ad for Schnapps.

– wincenworks 

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*Nords of North, redundant much?