systemamoebae:

J: Oh my…

Me: idk, looks practical to me…

H: Need to be on a real human to prove it.

Me: It covers all the important parts. And the bits it doesn’t cover are probably protected by some kind of invisible magical shield.

Me: Anyway, everyone knows that men are just naturally more agile than women.

Me: Women are strong warriors who need to cover everything when they are in the heat of battle with their axes, but men are lithe and supple, so they can just backflip and cartwheel their way away from arrows and swords.

Me: Right?

J: Obviously.

Me: I mean, I’m certain that’s how it goes down in Afghanistan.

Me: All that space around his crotch, his sides, and his ass just give him the freedom to move out of danger more easily.

H: +25 DEX

Me: +25 DIX

H: +25 SEX

J: Plus, he can distract his enemies.

Me: Yeah, he can turn around and wiggle his butt to distract the rampaging army who are about to stabbinate him…

J: If they stare, they’re distracted…

Me: …then backflip out of the way, trying to make sure his cock doesn’t accidentally fall out of its little hammock.

J: … if they look away and blush, they’re also distracted.

Me: I really can’t see any downsides to this armour.

(Picture source)

No lies detected. If all those reasons "make sense" for female armor, why wouldn’t they for male one, right? ;P

~Ozzie

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