bikiniarmorbattledamage:

hands-of-blue:

prokopetz:

It’s bad enough when a sci-fi setting has all the ladies wearing painted-on tights so snug that you can see all the way up their respective buttcracks, but then they go and do it with the armour, too.

Like, it’s armour.

It’s a solid chunk of heavy, rigid material.

How does that work?

How do you walk with a pair of inflexible domes tightly cupping your glutes?

Hell, how do you even stand when you’ve got a quarter-inch durasteel plate wedged so far up your ass you’re tasting metal?

Makes no sense.

@bikiniarmorbattledamage

While we’re certain skin-tight metal butt armor happens a lot in media (battle thong is by far more popular), the best, most literal examples of it from our blog were those chafiest short shorts ever:

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And this full body atrocity (whole thing is arguably NSFW, open link at own risk):

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We can also infer from some frontal images when a design probably includes a butt vacuum-sealed in metal, just like it has boobplate/metal boobsocks:

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[x] [x]

That said, butts or no butts, armor so snug it looks like shiny bodypaint/metal spandex is a blight on costume design that should be stopped.

~Ozzie

As we throwback this nightmare fuel this week, I’d just like to casually remind everyone that, at least when it comes to 3D modeling, giving a character individual butt cheeks and individual boobs is way more work than giving them actual Real Person clothes. So there are still people in the gaming industry who look at their budget, look at their specs, and then decide that, yes, spending that money on individually-modeled boobs and butts is a Good Investment.

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That’s not even metal, and even it looks physically painful.

-Icy

bikiniarmorbattledamage:

6 RPG Tropes That Need to Die

Dorkly again parodying some obvious absurdities of bikini armors (like double standards and skimpy high level) in fantasy/RPGs… twice in the same comic 🙂 

We always enjoy when skimpy female armor lands on a list of things that games should get rid of once and for all

And, of course, just like in the case of that video list, we recommend steering clear of the comment section, where “Stop complaining about female armors because I like them therefore there’s nothing wrong with them!” dumpster fires are burning.

~Ozzie

So, 2018 has come and gone.  Sadly but unsurprisingly, the skimpy female armor and the high level variant did not die as a commonplace trope.  Oh well… maybe 2019 will be the year free of bikini armor! Let’s ask the magic eight-ball…

But you know what popular media? I dare you to make a fool of me.

All you have to do is go a year without ridiculous female armor… that should be easy right?

– wincenworks

rainymeadows:

doodbog:

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Greek Gods, pinup style. 

(Follow-up to the Norse God pinup collection, Dat ÁsAlso on DeviantArt and Etsy)

@bikiniarmorbattledamage HAVE YOU SEEN THESE

Greco-Roman mythology follow-up to Norse Dat Ás is AMAZING! 

Pan/Faunus, Poseidon/Neptune and Dionysus/Bacchus have got to be my personal faves. They look so fun! 

You can almost forget that, according to myths, most of those gods aren’t very keen on consent when approaching women and men… 

Of course that leaves us with a quiet expectation for equivalent to Dat Asynja coming out sometime later, with goddesses doing some very epic anti-pinup 😉 

~Ozzie 

bikiniarmorbattledamage:

Fire Emblem Heroes has already been getting some flack for their uninspired character design, and this is a good comparison of the changes made to Rhajat for Heroes. Her original design still has problems, primarily the nylon tech this fantasy country seems to have, but the new version (named Virghat) is just so much worse. From the wiki entry on Rhajat:

…It is revealed that her cold personality is a means to mask her loneliness due to being raised in the Deeprealms by herself.

I’d believe that description, given that this was her sprite in Fates:

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She’s hunched over, her eyes are in shadow, and her arms are in front of and around herself protectively. But the Heroes design and posture? All I’m getting from it, is generic poker-faced cute caster. 

Oh, and of course, there’s a damage sprite, as mentioned in the comparison image.

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Sigh.

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-Icy

h/t: thekaizaverse

In these troubling times where our social media platforms must scramble frantically, expunging massive amounts of imagery as the only means to protect us from anything titillating it’s a comfort to know that there will at least be good wholesome content from family friendly companies like Nintendo who make games you can play in your living room or in public without it getting awkward!

As a side none, it appears that they decided to really lean into the damage sprite with her fashion sister, Loki.

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– wincenworks

Image from the Official Site for Fire Emblem Heroes

otherwindow:

otherwindow:

Creators: INTRODUCING A BRAND NEW FANTASY WORLD
The world: [Medieval European setting with knights and castles. Elves live in the forest. Dwarves yelling and drinking. Orcs just green and angry. Dragons. Boob armour.]

The world’s game trailer: [Hot mage girl. Antagonist is either a crusty old man or a sometimes sexy white woman. Fantasy war. British accents. Ugly armour. Robust character creator with multiple fantasy race options but no dark skin tones for humans. Giant spiders. A huge potion making mechanic with hundreds of recipes no one is gonna use. More giant spiders. “Only you can save the world”.]

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Anyone: Why the boob armor and no people of color in this fantasy setting? 
Fanboys who preemptively decided to defend the game based on developer’s brand name alone: THAT’S THEIR CREATIVE FREEDOM! ALSO HISTORICAL ACCURACY. SHUT UP AND STOP HATING FUN! 

~Ozzie

adobsonartworks:

SYAC – NSFW Context.

A lot of people who view my feminist leanings as an “act” always point to the fact that I used to draw fetish art a decade ago as some sort of hypocrisy. But the fact of the matter is that just because I don’t draw fetish art anymore and identify as a feminist now doesn’t mean I have some sort of vendetta against it. The problem that arises when feminists clash with comic/game/geek content is because the “context” for the “sexy artwork” either doesn’t exist or is so flimsy it might as well not exist. There is nothing wrong with NSFW artwork, providing the context makes sense (and that includes the WHERE and HOW it’s being published).

Sidenote: I CANNOT recommend “Sunstone” enough to y’all. It’s amazing and you should check it out! Here’s the link to it on AMAZON.

PS: I genuinely don’t care that Quiet is a mute and can’t talk (that’s problematic in and of itself). I just wanted to make a point.

Huh, who knew there is a time and place to make female characters sexy and that time is not “always”?

We’re also more than familiar with the accusation that we are just fun-hating killjoys who hate sexy women and want them always non-sexual and covered head to toe (extra fallacy points if something islamophobic is added to the last part). That’s why it’s a square on the rhetoric bingo

TL; DR: CONTEXT IS EVERYTHING! 

~Ozzie 

See also: When is it okay to have a female character in less than practical or protective armor? – a helpful presentation by @wincenworks 

followthespottedhyena:

we-are-blacksmith:

we-are-viking:

iamstroodle:

balamist:

that friend is vestal

I appreciate this immensly

@we-are-knight @weareladyknight

…… I mean… Maybe?

@bikiniarmorbattledamage

I think that a couple other characters from the parodies we posted over the years would gladly patronize this blacksmith as well 😉 
Consider: Lyla from the College Humor sketch, the angry Dorkly comic lady, this poor heroine, the Chainmail Bikini Squad, Princess Adrienne… Oh yeah, there’s also this poor dude from Oglaf strip which we never knew how to address on BABD.

What I’m saying is, bad blacksmiths/armor merchants are kind of an recurring subject in bikini armor satire. And it’s nice for once to see one who’s fixing sexist armors instead of perpetuating them 😉

PS: This is what Arbalest and Vestal’s boobplates look like in the original artwork of Darkest Dungeon

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~Ozzie

Not all heroes wear capes.

-Icy