For when the boobplate just isn’t ridiculous enough, we now apparently have the unholy innovation henceforth known as the assplate.

I really, really, really struggle to understand this one.  Not only does it one up the vacuum sealed chainmail in terms of incomprehensible engineering – it also seems to be envisioned by someone who is not aware that buttocks are made primarily of muscle and hence flex and move as the owner moves.

Also… under what circumstance is it more important to armor your buttocks than your thighs?  Particularly when the models indicate that the Grey Maidens are badass and not likely to be retreating any time soon (though they all have this weird regulation abdomen window in their breastplates):

Why was anyone allowed to ruin such beauty by adding such tacky elements as abdomen windows and assplates? Why!?

– wincenworks