So, apparently fantasy action figures are a thing that got funded on Kickstarter a while ago and this… was the… “Female Orc Conqueror” and I am… very confused what genre this is supposed to be.  Because it seems like this should be for people who have a very specific vision for being conquered. (And if that’s the case, I ain’t kink shaming… just pointing it out)

Oddly, they seem to have decided in the fluff that she is a “strategist” but I can’t help but think that any strategist would probably start by covering their internal organs.  Maybe this is why female orcs are “rarer” than their male counterparts?

– wincenworks

ronnie92:

I’m a lady-type person with a large rack (Around european cup size 75j-80j). At this size binding doesn’t really work (at least for me – sports bras don’t really do enough either) What kind of armor you reckon would work best for a large bust?

bikiniarmorbattledamage:

I don’t have a lot of experience in building armor myself, but I reached out to a friend who’s been into extremely enthusiastic for several decades and happens to be a woman.  Her recommendation is a globose breastplate with padding for additional support.  Something like these:

image

(Joan of Arc by Albert Lynch (x) and Knightess by TypeSprite (x))

It is possible that one made off a peg suit you, but more likely that you would need one custom made.  Regardless you’d be going to a smooth deflective curve such as in the illustrations above.  Plate armor like this is actually quite roomy in order to allow movement, so there’ll be plenty of room to add supportive padding.

Globose breastplates are held on with a harness, so with firm padding should be able to restrain even the mightiest bosom.  Similar armoring techniques were often used when making custom suits for rotund nobles,  Henry VIII of England armors show a gradually increasing girth throughout his life.

image

(Photo by Chuck, King Henry VIII’s armor in the Tower of London’s Royal Armouries.)

– wincenworks

Today’s throwback: a question that comes up in our inbox and notes sometimes: whether large-breasted people need special adjustments in armor. 

Short answer is: YES, but it still would not be anything close to a boobplate

And a quick reminder that since all armor requires padding underneath, resulting in a

pretty uniform

silhouette across the genders, people with masculine and feminine figures can’t be easily told apart when in full armor. Height and weight of a person are much bigger factor in armor customization than secondary sex characteristics are. 

~Ozzie 

See also: How do I Armor? – Common Gender Signifiers and Armor | whole How do I Armor? comic post series | Resource & Reference tags

Hyrule Warriors – A Link to the Pants, Part 2

Well, this one was definitely a journey. I’ve wanted to redesign this unfortunate “armor” ever since it was posted on this blog. Those who joined us while we worked on these pieces will know how much I struggled with certain aspects of this, and how much I hate the original. I had to change something about almost every element in this. I’m just so glad it’s done and I can move on with my life.

The first things I knew I wanted to do are the breastplate and pants. Then I gave her the sleeves to match her “skirt.” That was the easy part.

image

After that I didn’t know what to do about her midriff, so I focused on her hair and face. I put her hair up so it doesn’t get in the way, and I just took some of her makeup away. I do this a lot, and it’s not because I hate makeup; it’s to show that you can have lady characters look good and cool and strong without giving them false eyelashes and a contour to rival Kim Kardashian. Also because women are always expected by society to wear makeup (but not look like it, that’s important), and screw that, so….

After that, the last thing to do was get rid of that idiotic corset. I had no real ideas, so I just extended her tabbard and gave her a belt to hold her tassets. It’s kind of a hack job, but I had no better ideas, and I had spent way too much time trying to come up with something. I wanted to just keep the plate armor and not add chainmail or anything… so here we are.

I still feel like I could have done better, but at least I don’t feel my blood boiling when I look at my redesign, as opposed to the original. Now I can believe that this is a woman that actually goes out into combat, while maintaining her regal air.

-Icy

kame-tan:

mysweetvilllain:

glorious-spoon:

mortuarybees:

yes i am a big advocate for realistic clothes and armor in media like

this is perfect and? extremely fucking hot

but also ive never seen anything hotter than when geralt is fighting without his armor and instead in tight pants and several of his shirt’s buttons undone and i want every fight scene from here on like that

Put the women in full plate armor, put the men in open-front shirts and tight leather pants.

Seriously. Both are sexy. Give me full plate armored women. PLEASE.

Give me open shirt, tight pants on men who wield a sword.

I will fucking eat that up like it’s my last meal.

@bikiniarmorbattledamage

This ties in quite nicely to a recent fiasco where a guy named Andrew Klavan, who is apparently an author of some sort, made an even more ignorant than usual rant.  It was about about how he hated the show because he considered it “unrealistic” that the women – particularly GoddessQueen Calanthe, were shown as capable of winning sword fights or doing a sword fight (it’s not clear).

Swords YouTube was united in their rejection of this notion – not just for his hilariously inaccurate claims about equipment but also because they unanimously agreed there are three major factors that decide who’s likely to come out of a battle second-best, and who gets to live:

  • Quality of training
  • Quality of equipment
  • Luck

Obviously a queen of a nation that regularly has battles and skirmishes would certainly have access to the best training, and commission the best quality armor – and we can all agree to that anyone who is born into royalty is lucky.

So really, if this author and those like him were upset at having to suspend disbelief about sword fighting, in a world with literal dragons, they’d be mad at these scenes with Geralt kicking ass in just a shirt.

Weird that he’s bothered by a realistic depiction of a powerful woman, but not a comically unrealistic power fantasy of a man.

Links to various YouTube videos discussing the matter below¹.

image

– wincenworks

¹ If you’re wondering why one of the bigger, more self important names may be missing, its because hes already made his stance on women pretty clear – and it’s bad.

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