kame-tan:

mysweetvilllain:

glorious-spoon:

mortuarybees:

yes i am a big advocate for realistic clothes and armor in media like

this is perfect and? extremely fucking hot

but also ive never seen anything hotter than when geralt is fighting without his armor and instead in tight pants and several of his shirt’s buttons undone and i want every fight scene from here on like that

Put the women in full plate armor, put the men in open-front shirts and tight leather pants.

Seriously. Both are sexy. Give me full plate armored women. PLEASE.

Give me open shirt, tight pants on men who wield a sword.

I will fucking eat that up like it’s my last meal.

@bikiniarmorbattledamage

This ties in quite nicely to a recent fiasco where a guy named Andrew Klavan, who is apparently an author of some sort, made an even more ignorant than usual rant.  It was about about how he hated the show because he considered it “unrealistic” that the women – particularly GoddessQueen Calanthe, were shown as capable of winning sword fights or doing a sword fight (it’s not clear).

Swords YouTube was united in their rejection of this notion – not just for his hilariously inaccurate claims about equipment but also because they unanimously agreed there are three major factors that decide who’s likely to come out of a battle second-best, and who gets to live:

  • Quality of training
  • Quality of equipment
  • Luck

Obviously a queen of a nation that regularly has battles and skirmishes would certainly have access to the best training, and commission the best quality armor – and we can all agree to that anyone who is born into royalty is lucky.

So really, if this author and those like him were upset at having to suspend disbelief about sword fighting, in a world with literal dragons, they’d be mad at these scenes with Geralt kicking ass in just a shirt.

Weird that he’s bothered by a realistic depiction of a powerful woman, but not a comically unrealistic power fantasy of a man.

Links to various YouTube videos discussing the matter below¹.

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– wincenworks

¹ If you’re wondering why one of the bigger, more self important names may be missing, its because hes already made his stance on women pretty clear – and it’s bad.

More of The Witcher on BABD 

BeWitchered by the abs, part 2

Par for the course, I of course decided to redesign Geralt’s bff and certified slut (according to him, at least), Jaskier (Dandelion in the English translation, but that’s stupid).

Anyway, as we’ve been told by our fans, all people who sleep around dress like they’re trying to attract a partner 100% of the time, even when they’re in combat. So obviously, I had to change Jassy’s full-coverage outfit into one more appropriate for his personality 🍆. He’s not even a combatant, he has zero reasons to be wearing Real Clothes.

I also simplified his remaining clothes a bit, so as to not distract from the…

image

For the record, I totally stole that torso off a Google image search.

I gave him a codpiece, obviously, as well as sexier stockings and high heels. I also decided to give a little peek at what the back of his redesigned outfit would look like. Seeing as how he’s such a good friend with Geralt, I figured he’d have a commemorative tattoo. To remember their friendship.

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More like Jasskier, am I right?

Finally, I changed his face to look more like his book description, where he is said to look as beautiful as an elf (which is how he allegedly gets all the ladies).

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Now he finally looks like the Hot Stud he’s (apparently) supposed to be! 

-Icy

BeWitchered by the abs, Part 1

A day late, but hope you guys don’t mind! 

After quite a few requests and significant consideration of our own, we set off to sexify The Witcher male characters, starting with the eponymous hero himself. 

Thing about Geralt of Rivia is that, unlike most female characters in the franchise, he’s allowed to be something more than just a male power fantasy action-adventure hero. He is sexywhile engaging in sexual relationshipsHow novel! ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) 

To fix that awful practicality of him looking like a warrior while warrioring and sex icon while sexing, I merged his official model sheet/cosplay reference with objectively one of the best Witcher game screenshots (barring ones from actual sex scenes): 

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Did my best to match up proportions of two Geralts, but the end result came up a bit too top-heavy. I guess he’s more pecs, abs and biceps than legs guy now. 

Speaking of legs, it’s the one area in which I employed my own creativity instead of photo-manipulation. His codpiece is more prominent (though, once again, not exaggerated – Geralt has many issues, but definitely isn’t a type insecure in his own junk’s size) and I modified the seam stripe design to now expose some of his delicious thigh flesh. 

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One last change was replacing his waaay too practical boots with high-heel ones from his adoptive daughter, Ciri. Sourced from her official cosplay guide.
Poor girl is one of the very few women in the franchise who aren’t framed as (potential) sexual conquest for Geralt, yet CD Projekt designers can’t help but put her in costumes that remind us of her femininity rather than badassery.
Hope that putting Ciri’s papa in her fashion-only shoes levels the playing field at least a bit! 

As I mentioned, not my most creatively-free redesign, but one that definitely needed to be done. Did you guys like it? 

~Ozzie 

…when one male character criticizes a woman for going into battle with her shirt hanging open, which is really the snake eating its own tail of video game sexism in a game where a significant portion of its speaking female characters are similarly and impractically exposed.

Arthur Gies, The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt Review: Off the path

A relevant follow up the question of how does one satirize bikini armor, specifically that one does not do it by blaming a fictional character for the clothing chosen for her by the creator.

Particularly not if one is going to then normalize it within their media, which has normalized this excuse to the extent that it appears on the rhetoric bingo card.

– wincenworks

…when one male character criticizes a woman for going into battle with her shirt hanging open, which is really the snake eating its own tail of video game sexism in a game where a significant portion of its speaking female characters are similarly and impractically exposed.

Arthur Gies, The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt Review: Off the path

A relevant follow up the question of how does one satirize bikini armor, specifically that one does not do it by blaming a fictional character for the clothing chosen for her by the creator.

Particularly not if one is going to then normalize it within their media, which has normalized this excuse to the extent that it appears on the rhetoric bingo card.

– wincenworks