The hilarious front line in the tragic war against ridiculous female armor
Tag: throwback
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It’s probably fair to say that women in fantasy RPGs are the industry’s most highly endangered species.
I mean, these are women who take on entire monster-infested dwarven mines wearing nothing but a bit of moulded plate metal over their chests and a chainmail g-string.
If it’s not disembowelling, it’s probably going to be some kind of really nasty infection from all that… chafing.
This is still probably my favorite summary of why skimpy armor obviously makes no sense.
~Ozzie
Posted on
It’s probably fair to say that women in fantasy RPGs are the industry’s most highly endangered species.
I mean, these are women who take on entire monster-infested dwarven mines wearing nothing but a bit of moulded plate metal over their chests and a chainmail g-string.
If it’s not disembowelling, it’s probably going to be some kind of really nasty infection from all that… chafing.
So it turns out we have The Onion for video games now. It’s called Point & Clickbait and so far it seems pretty awesome… and worryingly accurate in ways.
I think the biggest thing gamers fail to recognize when discussing sexism in video games is presentation. This is the biggest reason why I can never see characters like Zangief even be remotely equivalent to female characters. Disregarding every other difference that sets them apart, when was the last time you saw the camera creepily do a pan across Zangief sensually massaging his breasts and ending on his stuck out ass? His walk cycle isn’t him wildly shaking his hips. None of his animations flaunt his body in the sense that you’re supposed to be attracted to him. And to top it all off I know that, if this actually happened, it would be done as a joke.
Thank you for this post! It’s a nice concise explanation
It’s tedious at this point when we see someone claim that characters like Conan/Kratos/Zangief are equally “empowered” as their boob-flaunting female peers (because bare chests?). Hope this helps.
Even if we somehow agreed that a bare-chested dude in a speedo/loincloth is the direct male counterpart to a lady in a physically impossible non-costume (consult our bingo archive for examples) – which we don’t agree with – it still wouldn’t take into account the differences in body language, camera angles and other factors that frame a character as an object instead of a person.
I think the biggest thing gamers fail to recognize when discussing sexism in video games is presentation. This is the biggest reason why I can never see characters like Zangief even be remotely equivalent to female characters. Disregarding every other difference that sets them apart, when was the last time you saw the camera creepily do a pan across Zangief sensually massaging his breasts and ending on his stuck out ass? His walk cycle isn’t him wildly shaking his hips. None of his animations flaunt his body in the sense that you’re supposed to be attracted to him. And to top it all off I know that, if this actually happened, it would be done as a joke.
Thank you for this post! It’s a nice concise explanation
It’s tedious at this point when we see someone claim that characters like Conan/Kratos/Zangief are equally “empowered” as their boob-flaunting female peers (because bare chests?). Hope this helps.
Even if we somehow agreed that a bare-chested dude in a speedo/loincloth is the direct male counterpart to a lady in a physically impossible non-costume (consult our bingo archive for examples) – which we don’t agree with – it still wouldn’t take into account the differences in body language, camera angles and other factors that frame a character as an object instead of a person.
Left: Adrianne Palicki promo shot for NBC’s Wonder Woman.
Right: Kimberly Kane promo shot for ‘Wonder Woman XXX: An Axel Braun Parody’.
….is it just me or does the porno version outfit not only look WAY BETTER crafted and prettier, the actress also has more muscles, a nicer fitting chest piece and a waaay more fitting body type and skin tone.
Also the porno version doesn’t look more “feminine”/more sexy whatever.
That… is EMBARASSING
I looked for some iteration of this post for some time now. It’s so incredible!
Second-hand embarrassment is off the charts. The jokes write themselves.
~Ozzie
Pretty sure the difference here is that Axel Braun knows people who buy his porno want to see Wonder Woman… NBC probably figured they just wanted to see a random female character.
– wincenworks
This week’s throwback inspired by Tumblr user @aspiringwarriorlibrarian who mentioned that Amazons in Justice League movie would look like porn parody of Wonder Woman… if the actual porn Wondy’s costume wasn’t SO MUCH more faithful to what she looks like in the comics.
Also, reminder that the last scrapped attempt at bringing Diana back to TV is the plastic tackiness on the left.
No wonder that Lindy Hemming costumes are remembered so fondly in hindsight, considering the standard for life action Wonder Woman look was set so low that “better than the never-aired NBC series, at least as good as the porn parody” was the minimal expectation.
~Ozzie
For those people who really want to appreciate the $40-at-Party-City-ness of the costume on the left, you’re welcome: