The hilarious front line in the tragic war against ridiculous female armor
Month: July 2019
Old Redesign Stwitcheroo Part 1
The last stream of 2018 was a special one – bringing back designs the other one fixed in the past and redoing them again… our own way!
Blossom and the Sliding Scale of Furry Breast
As a person who created some faun-adjacent characters I felt personally offended with how Blossom from Battlerite is handled, particularly her body. Icy’s poncho idea was cute, but obscured all the interesting things about her half-deer nature, which I wanted to explore more in-depth.
If her unwearable bikini top didn’t make it clear, her suspiciously furless torso was obviously delegated to be the “sexy” area of her body, reminding the players that women be sexy and, obviously, sexy and feminine = hairless (🤢)… Despite her legs and face being covered with brown fur.
I couldn’t erase that awful bra without deciding what to do with her breasts, so I settled on not only making this nature-loving character topless and furry, but also that a deer-person should not be endowed with human female breast tissue. Blossom is far enough on the animal-human scale to not have udders, but not far enough to have chest as a secondary sex characteristic. Indeed, while drawing this redesign I concluded that the character reads as so androgynous that they should be non-binary in my version.
As for clothes that remain, I replaced the ugly and vaguely thong-like
with bright-colored skirt that matches their birb friend’s design. I also upped saturation on the jewelry, so it stands out better and matches both Maxwell’s plumage and Blossom’s optimistic personality.
Also looking at the image I chose made me realize how weirdly receded Blossom’s chin was from this angle. I gave them an actual jaw line and did some minor other edits to the face, adjusting proportions of the nose, position of the mouth and eye makeup (no more black mascara for a magical forest creature).
Not sure if I gave them my all, especially in the costume department, but I’m pretty satisfied with how much difference even the subtlest changes to their body made.
(Before we continue – for the benefit of those about to frantically type a comment – the artwork is very much on brand for the artist, and would even be very suitable in an explicitly erotic game or just as softcore erotic art. The problem isn’t the art itself, it’s that it’s for a game about mechs vs kaiju)
This art was used heavily in a “buy now” promotion a few days prior to releasing the first playable demo* of the game that’s been in development for three years.
It’s probably good that the majority of people who like this art like it as a pinup and not as a promise of content to be in the game then.
If the most interesting thing about your game is a thing that isn’t central to the game or in even in it… a giant stop sign, clearly your game is going wrong. I mean at the very least, stop asking people to hand over their money for a product that’s guaranteed to disappoint. ***
This is of course, the most extreme example – but it’s probably something to consider the next time you see a game promoting itself with bizarrely incongruent sexual imagery, big promises and little substance.
* Playable in the absolute vaguest sense possible – there’s only movement mechanics so it’s not even an alpha release. Incidentally, from the second indiegogo (the first one was just for the site):
(Due to Mark’s forementioned affiliations – it is safe to say that a lot of these backers lost their shit at @femfreq for extending their deadline due to unforeseen support… I wonder what the difference could be…)
Knowing how my friends feel about dresses with pockets I can only imagine how incredible this is!
Art by Benjamin Steamroller
I genuinely love this for SO MANY reasons, but one of them has to be the fact that now that we’ve all agreed that terrible skimpy armor that objectifies women is OUT, we can finally focus on what should be IN
Contrary to her appearance, Arnice here is not in fact another card from Granblue Fantasy; she is actually the protagonist of a real RPG, Nights of Azure, where she transforms into various demon forms to fight things. This post is only about her main look, because each of her 5 alternate forms can warrant its own bingo.
Her design reminds me a bit of Velvet from Tales of Berseria, except they have the opposite problem in the front: Velvet has a bare stomach, and Arnice has bare sides and back. I suppose that putting them together will make one good design, at least from the waist-up.
Also, I checked whether that tiny piece of black fabric on her hips is a skirt or shorts, and it’s a skirt, because of course.
Whoops, sorry about the super late notice! We’ll be streaming in 5 minutes!
~Ozzie and Icy
BeWitchered by the abs, part 2
Par for the course, I of course decided to redesign Geralt’s bff and certified slut (according to him, at least), Jaskier (Dandelion in the English translation, but that’s stupid).
Anyway, as we’ve been told by our fans, all people who sleep around dress like they’re trying to attract a partner 100% of the time, even when they’re in combat. So obviously, I had to change Jassy’s full-coverage outfit into one more appropriate for his personality 🍆. He’s not even a combatant, he has zero reasons to be wearing Real Clothes.
I also simplified his remaining clothes a bit, so as to not distract from the…
I gave him a codpiece, obviously, as well as sexier stockings and high heels. I also decided to give a little peek at what the back of his redesigned outfit would look like. Seeing as how he’s such a good friend with Geralt, I figured he’d have a commemorative tattoo. To remember their friendship.
More like Jasskier, am I right?
Finally, I changed his face to look more like his book description, where he is said to look as beautiful as an elf (which is how he allegedly gets all the ladies).
Now he finally looks like the Hot Stud he’s (apparently) supposed to be!
Okay, see now what I don’t get is people who say they love Babs’ redesign because “finally a practical female costume in comics!!”
Because it’s absolutely true that impractical costumes are a problem that plague superheroines, but this is what Babs’ New 52 costume looked like before they redesigned it:
I’m purposefully using a picture that has her next to Batman – her costume was just as “practical” as his. Full body suit, sturdy-looking flat-heeled boots, no unnecessary details beyond the Bat symbol and cape (both of which Batman has too) – what exactly was so “impractical” about this?
For that matter, this is what Babs’ original Batgirl costume looked like:
That’s from the 1970’s, and her costume looks as practical as can be. Actually, I’d argue that Dick’s the one with the impractical costume, here.
So why are we acting like this is such a big deal that Babs “finally” has a practical costume?! She’s had one since practically the very beginning (once they stopped drawing her original costume with high heels, anyway).
Superheroine costumes are certainly lacking practicality on the whole, but Babs was never really an issue there. So giving her a practical redesign doesn’t really do anything to change the status quo – it just “fixes” what wasn’t broken to start with. Why not give Starfire a redesign where I don’t have to wonder how her top stays on, instead?
Also they made a huge deal about her new costume not being spandex, but I thought the whole batfam wore kevlar.
It’s not, it was never identified by name, but it’s apparently some sort of next gen bulletproof material, even BETTER than kevlar.
why they would choose to replace that with a cheap $20 leather jacket is beyond me
I don’t think anyone argued Barbara’s current costume was specifically one in a desperate need of redesign (let’s face it, she’s always been the one DC superheroine with consistently full body-covering suit: no cleavage, no 5-inch heels, not even bared midriff).
Her new costume is a breath of fresh air compared to the DC/Marvel female design STANDARDS, not compared to what she wore before.
But as far as the kevlar (or rather “batkevlar”) argument goes, it doesn’t really hold ground when the artist’s attempts at conveying her suit to be armor are so half-assed and inconsistent that the chest piece looks either painted on or too small to wear, let alone breathe in (see: middle images here).
Does it make sense that after losing her old costume she assembles a new, cheap one, instead of asking Bruce to give her another armor? Yeah, probably not. Especially since she’s a regular human, not a superpowered alien or an Amazon or a magic user that can wear even a skimpy costume without caring for consequences. But that’s the issue of pulling it off with writing, no different than pulling of the existence of miraculous better-than-kevlar material.
For what it’s supposed to be, the new costume is designed awesomely.
Since by now it’s confirmed that we are all trapped in Keanu fever, including his John Wick title – it’s probably a good time talk about super-fabrics like batkevlar and how they tend to be presented differently on men and women. Above we have how it tends to be presented for women: an excuse to always have them in sexy spandex that is vacuum sealed for freshness.
In John Wick 2, the titular character stops to obtain an outfit made entirely out of a remarkably similar fabric – bulletproof beyond anything real technology can do but not enough to stop bruising damage from the impact. How does his outfit look when he’s fully protected?
And yes, there are male characters who are known for wearing spandex type outfits, but you know what all of them get without a fuss? Alternative costumes.
Batman has gone through more designs than one can count, the Snake family from Metal Gear get everything from standard BDUs to tuxedos, Sam Fisher’s gear was always tailored to be not too body clingy and got to do a whole game in civvies with a bullet vest.
My point is: If your fictional world is developing wonder technology to prevent battle damage – the first and foremost application of it should not be for women to wear body hugging outfits (that then get torn and don’t stop all the damage anyway) – but probably to augment existing combat outfits.
You should probably also consider the “rules” of it – and whether someone would prioritize showing off their body over not being covered in bruises all day every day – because bruises are not fun and you probably want your characters to display at least vaguely relate able judgement. Let them get hurt but, don’t make it an hourly thing they could easily avoid.
Tidy Up Tuesday #95
Reminder to all first-time readers (who likely won’t even see this post) that questioning the very idea of criticizing any costume design isn’t a good look when you’re reblogging from a costume design critique blog.
Even casual scroll through our resource and reference tags would lead you to really good (often older than the videos in question) debunks about boob armor from people who, unlike him, make and/or wear armor for its intended use. Some of which, unlike him, are women and maaaybe have more expertise on what it’s like to have boobs under a breastplate. ¯_(ツ)_/¯