The hilarious front line in the tragic war against ridiculous female armor
Since ELOA keeps throwing its browser ads at me, I figured I might as well bingo one of them.
Wait, is that a pec window on a male character I see in another ad?
I’d probably be more excited if he was posed as weirdly as the lady next to him… who also has way more improbable skin windows in her “armor”. I wouldn’t even know where to begin bingoing her.
~Ozzie
Who’s gonna break it to that lady character and explain to her that this is not appropriate attire for hacking and slashing?
~Ozzie
Yet another female character who looks unimpressed that her first quest is to find who stole the rest of her outfit.
– wincenworks
I think that underboob belt might win the award for the most useless accessory. Is it just there to remind her not to breathe or her top will fall off?
– wincenworks
…why is the archer drawn without any arrows? Though looking at the way she “holds” the nonexistent arrow, maybe it’s better to not give her real ones. She’d make @badarcherart proud!
At the very least, I can believe that her clothes stay on, unlike her sorcerer friend’s. Though neither of them can count their costumes would provide any protection whatsoever.
~Ozzie
Nords: Heroes of the North* would be a really nice-looking game… if the artists were allowed to put the same kind of effort into female characters as the male ones.
While men have consistently cartoonish proportions and interestingly stylized wardrobes, women fall squarely into the standard of conventionally pretty and thin models clad in bikini armors.
Here’s how male and female orc designs compare:
Also why is this blue-skinned monstrous race generically named orcs and not Jotun, the frost giants? That would give the game more genuine nordic flare and some unique identity.
Much needed identity, considering their elves look like lifted straight from WoW:
Not surprisingly, this title comes from a repeat offender: Plarium, the publisher behind such creatively marketed games as Stormfall and Sparta the War of Empires.
If it’s of any consolation, I found one (1!) lady with design priorities similar to the male characters (at least body type-wise):
Well that’s some impressive female viking. Now give her a proper armor and she’d be almost as awesome as Thora from Jotun! Almost.
~Ozzie
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again – the bikini armored warrrior woman riding an arctic beast trope reached it’s apex in 1990. Just let it go guys, and take comfort in knowing that no matter what you did, it could never have been more awesome than an ad for Schnapps.
– wincenworks
*Nords of North, redundant much?
@sunfishfusions submitted (and Ozzie bingo’d):
Super new to Tumblr and my first time submitting anything but I felt like this is something that belongs on this blog (sorry if it’s already been shared)
I was trying to stream some cartoons online and these were the ads on the sidebar. I love how they put the male characters right next to the female ones for ease of comparison.
Their homepage didn’t really make me feel any better about their character design…
I don’t know about those women, but I really woudn’t want to “come to the defense of Eremos!” without something that might actually… oh… I don’t know…
PROTECT ME FROM LITERALLY ANYTHING.
I think you got those the same way I found Dragon Knigh(t) ads. It’s kinda impressive how many bingo squares can a cropped image score, given the design is generic/awful enough.
Well at least they’re competent enough to promise us “a fantasy realm”, not “fierce battles”. These ladies’ clothes surely can exist only in the realm of fantasy.
~Ozzie
