The hilarious front line in the tragic war against ridiculous female armor
Tag: thigh high boots
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The Monster Hunter series has been a mixed bag when it comes to armor design, and as we’ve shown before, Monster Hunter World has proudly followed in that tradition. We’ve seen that they can do actual armor for both the men and women characters, so what the fresh hell is this? This is high level armor, too. This is what the male version looks like, by the way:
I guess I’m impressed that the characters can hand-mold monster carapaces into boob cups?
-Icy
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Red is for the High Inquisitor skin, Blue is additionals from the Celestial Empress skin
Having blocked out most of my memories of playing World of Warcraft (and I didn’t do raids), I didn’t remember Sally Whitemane, so boy was I surprised to learn she led a religious order!
I’m not sure how anybody took this character seriously as an authority figure of any kind. Her outfit looks like something out of a fetish lingerie catalog. The HotS design is almost exactly the same as her original WoW model, which really highlights how much effort Blizzard is putting into doing women better.
Not to mention, her first alternative skin is some kind of scissors accident, rather than, for example, her Horseman version? Yeah, she became one of WoW’s Four Horsemen (the only woman in the current lineup, of course).
I mean, give her some padding on her exposed stomach, and that would be a fine alternate skin! But she does have a lot of skull motifs all over, so maybe they thought it would be too similar-looking to Sonya’s Death Knight skins.
So I was looking for some silly RPGs to play to pass the time and I found Valiant Force, which is where this lovely piece of work comes from.
And a piece of work it is. It’s always a trip to see generic bikini armor that is at the same time exceptionally overdesigned. (Also I just want to note that her back leg is fully on the ground, heel and all, which means her legs are different lengths.)
So Valiant Force is another mobile action MMO where you collect the greatest “Heroes (capitalized) to have ever existed.” And just like all the other similar games we’ve featured here, the sexy girl aspect of it is completely irrelevant to gameplay. Or anything.
But that doesn’t stop the game’s website to feature this in its promotional art:
So much creativity on display here…! ༼ ಠل͟ಠ༽
-Icy
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Can you believe we never bingo’ed the Final Form of the wizard from Diablo 3? Well, fret no more! Where do I even start; this looks like a chafing apocalypse, honestly. Not only is she going to freeze in the icy locations, she’s going to get bitten by some zombie and contract an infection. And that’s if the zombies are kind and don’t bite her right on the femoral artery, which is nicely framed for those zombies that crawl on the ground.
But who needs protection when you have a vaguely skull-like cod piece thing?
-Icy
Imagine all the armor she could wear if she just used the metal from her ridonculous headpiece for protecting her vital organs!
Oh boy, it’s what I’ve been dreading when the Soul Calibur VI character releases started; another uninspired lingerie-esque outfit for Ivy!
[ x5 ]
It’s so aggressively boring that the details they added, like the lace on her stockings and the cords around her sides, somehow make it even less interesting. She looks like she’s cosplaying herself. They also seem to have removed the snake motifs she had previously, and replaced them with… uhh, generic skulls, I guess? Cause that’s intimidating and not overdone at all.
[Ivy, thinking “What, you thought this was going to be a good design? Ha!” with a knowing smile]
I guess I’ll give the devs credit for giving her a boob window while also showing off about 70% of her breasts (the lace doesn’t count as covering). That’s some next-level dedication.
What is it with companies thinking that professional, Machiavellian female characters wear fetish outfits?
Wow. So she decided “I’m going to wear this pointless half-helmet that offers no protection, but I’m going to expose most of my upper torso, in a way which is hugely impractical for most mundane tasks let alone super-villainy”. Maybe she wants to show off her lack of bellybutton?
Star Sapphire basically never gets a break from godawful costume.
What upsets me the most is that animated adaptations usually veer on the safer (and less physically impossible) side of sexualized superheroine costumes (see: Angela and Dagger), thus old DC Animated Universe Star Sapphire just wore a leotard and thigh-high boots:
The Justice League Doom one is just… ugh.
~Ozzie
Legion of Doom, more like Legion of Skin.
Nobody in this team has a bellybutton…
Also, apparently that purple star tattoo is where she stashed her powers. Observe.
Am I the only one weirded out by the casual way with which he just sticks his hand into another person? ( ಠ_ಠ) Not to mention, maybe put the crystal that holds all of your powers somewhere where a person can’t just grab it so easily. Then maybe she could wear a better outfit.