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@thegreqtlilac​ submitted (and Ozzie bingo’d):

To be completely honest, Summoners War probably has way worse cases of terrible female armor if you go through their monster collection, but what’s worse about this one is that she is the reward for getting through the second scenario area of the game, which means EVERYONE has her, so you have to see this monstrosity all the time. 

I always feel so weird about the clash of chibi AND “sexy” aesthetic. Trying to have a cake and eat it too.
There’s really not much to add about the costume itself, other than this being too painfully generic to even register. BUT it did strike a rare diagonal bingo, so congrats to Summoners War, I guess?
I am sorry for all the players who are subjected to multiple copies of this running around inside the game. 

Thank you for the submission! 

~Ozzie

So, the creators of Divinity 2: Save the Boobplate … sorry Divinity 2: Girls don’t play video games… sorry Divinity 2: Original Sin have shown off a couple of hours gameplay for Baldur’s Gate 3… and this is the iconic character in the intro sequence before you pick/create a character.

Which means aside from being in this atrocity, she also gets the dubious honor of being the character who we see as a fellow prisoner having a parasite implanted via her eye (then the first person scene implies its happening to you, even though she is playable as one of the pre-generated characters).

Aside from the obvious mountain of baggage to unpack about women as victims, ridiculous armor for women – accurate for men, etc.  There’s something else I’d like to point out which is probably not going to be obvious for anyone who isn’t a huge Dungeons and Dragons nerd.

Lae’zel is a githyanki, basically a near human but not human “alien” race from another dimension with a long history and pile of lore which actually makes the whole scene worse.  However, what I wanted to cover is this is what female githyanki look like in the current 5th Edition Dungeons and Dragons art:

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So for this character, Larian Studio’s entire design process has been:

  • Remove all muscle tone and threatening aspects of appearance
  • Make the worst armor more ridiculous but cutesy and hyper-feminine

Great job at depicting a race where all members are raised as warrior from birth.

Why are people calling the people story tellers again?

– wincenworks

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Disgaea’s Beastmaster 

As far as I can tell, Disgaea’s character designs are the general off-the wall JRPG goodness… and badness. In fact, some character concept art makes it look like straight-up hentai game (which no, it isn’t), and out of them, this is one of the few I feel comfortable with bingoing without sliding BABD straight into NSFW category or breaking Tumblr’s hilarious nipple ban rule (yes, really – do not open in public). 

Fun fact: Beastmaster, who can at least afford underwear, is a “humanoid” class

while

the creepily naked-looking Felynn and Succubus are counted as “monster” classes. Coincidentally, all the other monster classes appear actually monstrous. Weird that the only female-coded ones look like humans with some beastly features 🤔 Gives me Digimon flashbacks. 

I’ll give them that – putting a really strange top/suspender/garter on a regular bikini, so that it holds up lower halves of otherwise nonexistent pants (how do they keep shape?), is at least creative way to display all that gratuitous flesh.
I just feel sorry for how chilly she must be all the time. And for her upper spine, cause, wow, that suspender thing is held up entirely just by her neck, not even shoulders. So uncomfortable! 

Oh yeah, and in case the usual suspects started typing – no, having some shirtless dudes in the franchise is neither by itself equal to, nor a justification for blatant objectification of female characters

~Ozzie 

h/t: @piranhaguppy 

@noknightinarmor submitted: 

What class is she? Horrifically Overpowered Titninja?

I love playing Pathfinder, but I don’t understand why someone chose this for the cover…

So I looked up what that book is supposed to be… and it’s a “What not to do” kind of guide. Fair enough, I guess? 

Quote from the publisher’s description:

We’re not suggesting any GM should allow these feats into a campaign. In fact, we advise against it. Seriously, the whole product is called “Horrifically Overpowered Feats,” which seemed like a dead giveaway that we’re not encouraging anyone to use these rules. 

Is the cover also supposed to be a dead giveaway to this being intentionally ridiculous? 🤨 Because straight-up recreating something bad/nonsensical does not yet satire make. Satirizing sexist game art is actually really hard, as @wundergeektaught us

This cover is up there with Macho Women With Guns and Special Forces as something supposedly parodying sexist depictions of warrior women media by pretty unironically reproducing such depictions. 

~Ozzie 

Savage Worlds is the core ruleset for all of Pinnacle’s current roleplaying games, including Deadlands, 50 Fathoms, Weird Wars: Rome, and more. It has everything you need to play narrative or miniature-based games, with quick, simple, yet comprehensive rules for everything from combat to Dramatic Tasks, Chases, and Interludes. The emphasis is on less bookeeping for the Game Master so he can quickly and easily create worlds and adventures for any setting, and focus on the players and their actions during frenetic combat.

Frenetic… no wait, I checked, frenetic does not mean combat that involves lots of awkward nip slips and pauses to untangle gear – it’ supposed to mean the opposite of that.

It boggles the mind that studios still think stuff like this somehow signals “for all kinds of players” and “totally legit about the game experience”.

And yet, this particularly example is still better than cover of the the Horror Companion

– wincenworks

This is the sort of design that explains why people don’t treat the word “edgy” seriously anymore – artists who want their stuff to look “dark and edgy” literally throw as many sharp edges on their villains and antiheroes as possible, no matter how absurd that looks! 

Just imagine all the protection she could get if she used metal from those arm and head spikes to form a practical breastplate!

~Ozzie

Why does this look like, instead of sending the publisher the actual intended cover art, they accidentally submitted a “how ridiculous can we make it” art piece done on a dare? And the publisher just went with it, because it’s Warhammer?

-Icy 

h/t for finding us design to bingo: Gigahorsedeluxe