hands-of-blue:

prokopetz:

It’s bad enough when a sci-fi setting has all the ladies wearing painted-on tights so snug that you can see all the way up their respective buttcracks, but then they go and do it with the armour, too.

Like, it’s armour.

It’s a solid chunk of heavy, rigid material.

How does that work?

How do you walk with a pair of inflexible domes tightly cupping your glutes?

Hell, how do you even stand when you’ve got a quarter-inch durasteel plate wedged so far up your ass you’re tasting metal?

Makes no sense.

@bikiniarmorbattledamage

While we’re certain skin-tight metal butt armor happens a lot in media (battle thong is by far more popular), the best, most literal examples of it from our blog were those chafiest short shorts ever:

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And this full body atrocity (whole thing is arguably NSFW, open link at own risk):

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We can also infer from some frontal images when a design probably includes a butt vacuum-sealed in metal, just like it has boobplate/metal boobsocks:

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[x] [x]

That said, butts or no butts, armor so snug it looks like shiny bodypaint/metal spandex is a blight on costume design that should be stopped.

~Ozzie

sisterofsilence:

nightshade-victorian:

cerinthefyrmagne:

Joan of Arc

Jeanne d’Arc

@sisterofsilence legit looking armour ideas for sisters of battle

Yes plz

There are so many ways to depict warrior women as majestic and powerful, even if you limit yourself to European stylings of particular eras.

More the shame that so many people seem determined to recycle the same ridiculous outfit ideas over and over. 

– wincenworks

Though I gotta point out, the first image seems to portray Joan in a scalemail boobplate, which makes me think the artist didn’t take a real armor as a reference. My hope is they would portray the scales as skin-tight on male pecs as well.

~Ozzie

fuckyeahconceptart:

Hanza by J Hill

I do like this as an example of a design that is a pretty faithful alternative gender for a male character and, as part of that, a pretty good demonstration of how little modification to costume is really needed.

The only real gripes are the reduction in muscle tone and the indication that there’s bandages/strips of cloth used to hold boobs in place: That’s actually really dangerous and something we should really stop depicting as though it were a good idea.

– wincenworks

(edit: Thank you to those who pointed out the unfortunate de-aging when compared to Hanzo’s default skin, which this is a gender flip of.  Also thank you to those who wrote in to notify of Sarashi, which is a specifically Japanese technique using special bandages – while it is not clear on this model, this technique is too often depicted with regular bandages. The heels would be a lesser gripe.)

NYCC: Simone, Scott revamp Red Sonja, Vampirella & Dejah Thoris for Dynamite

NYCC: Simone, Scott revamp Red Sonja, Vampirella & Dejah Thoris for Dynamite

bikiniarmorbattledamage:

I feel that the most critical step to really re-inventing those characters would be to get them away from Dynamite Entertainment. 

I enjoy Gail Simone’s re-invention of Red Sonja and understand there’s a balancing act with the branding and appearance.  But an ongoing thing with Dynamite Entertainment is that they stockpile old characters to use them in spinoffs, mash-ups, etc.

So far, at Dynamite, we’ve had:

I mean – these are the most recent spinoffs (one working with Dark Horse):

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Furthermore, while these designs might be bold for Dynamite, they’re not really that bold when you step back and look.

Red Sonja is basically back to a sexier version of the outfit she in her very first appearance, Vampirella appeared in a space suit in March (and I remember seeing concept ideas to re-invent her wearing full body gear in the 90s) – and okay, the movie bombed but nobody thinks it’s because of what Lynn Carter wore as Dejah Thoris.

What would really be bold – is actually re-inventing these characters without anchoring them to bad branding and design decision made in 70s (or earlier). Red Sonja has changed far more than her costume has, and not updating her appearance to reflect that hampers the comic.

At the end of the day – the reason these properties got sold to Dynamite Entertainment and the reason this is the second time Red Sonja’s been re-invented since then is because the old branding isn’t speaking to audiences today.

– wincenworks

So, a year ago I expressed that I was less than excited about Dynamite’s “commitment” to reinventing a bunch of heroines including Red Sonja as less they hyper-sexualized.  Now to be fair, they release the new Volume 3 run… a whole six issues of it! (FYI, Volume 2 got 21 issues and Volume 1 got 81 issues before getting rebooted)

However starting next year they’re going to be starting a Volume 4 run! Want to see the amazingly creative ideas they’ve got to take the title in a whole new direction unlike anything else in comics?

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No it’s Red Sonja the pinup model (by J Scott Campbell none the less) or Red Sonja / Game of Thrones crossover, it’s Red Sonja… in the battle bikini… in New York (a place where surely no other comic has ever been set!). It actually is.  And they’re very proud of this creative costume decision! Nothing saves a comic that’s on it’s forth incarnation like a combination of what hasn’t worked twice before and New York!

Interesting Dejah Thoris and Vampirella also got their new looks cancelled after  exactly six issues too… it’s almost like many publishers will set unrealistic expectations on some products so they can say they tried – the go back to a particular strategy regardless of how often it fails.

I cannot imagine how this industry could be connected to so much real life toxic behavior.  It’s really such a mystery why there’s a huge demographic of fans who rage and the idea that women are not objects.

– wincenworks

P.S. For those frantically typing something about how if it only got six issues it was probably sales and the concept deserved to be dropped – I would like those bring something to your attention:

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Lady Rawhide has gotten multiple series of her own under two publishers with essentially identical concepts, the highest issue count for each is five.

a-ship-of-meat-and-bone:

dajo42:

hello welcome to the rpg here is a COOL NEW RACE we just added its called the badarumpus it comes in male n female and this is what it looks like

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we are very proud of what we have done here and we would also like to present to you ANOTHER COOL NEW RACE we just added this ones called the splimb and it also comes in male n female

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BUT THATS NOT ALL!!!!!!!! wait until you see OUR THIRD COOL NEW RACE called the ZNOOPHOOPS that also comes in male n female

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enjoy your game fuckers

@bikiniarmorbattledamage

Another accurate satire on the subject of suspicious dimorphism. Including the same bikini for all the ladies.

Obviously, this is just another fantasy world where the humans are the weird species for having males who look so similar to women!

~Ozzie

more parodies on BABD

sonderingtrashcompactor:

Happy 16th everyone! Today is “put your male oc in bikini armor” day

Obviously, giant pauldrons is all the protection he really needs. 

Lots of heavy armor placed on shoulders is just better than covering vital organs or major blood vessels… for mobility reasons, of course!

~Ozzie