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Ah, one of our favorite repeat offenders… Seriously, though, what am I even looking at?? Is this a Red Bull ad?

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So I looked up this character and the wiki page had this to say: 

Only the most elite knights of the continent of Hiquba are permitted to join the Starka Temple Knights. It is considered the highest honor to join their ranks… At the grand induction ceremony in their hallowed temple, their captain Fortunata looks on forlornly. Her heart grieves at the thought of how few will live to see the end of the next war.

I have a few questions: If these soldiers are the most elite, why will so many of them die? How do they replenish their ranks? Why does the captain worry about her fully-armored soldiers dying, and not herself, who appears to be wearing a Victora’s Secret armor lingerie? Did her left foot step into a wormhole, and is that why it’s disappeared? …What’s with the cherubs…??

Her evolved armor looks a lot better, though she still forgot her pants at home, and I don’t even want to theorize on what’s happening with her breasts…

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But with the improved armor comes a worse lore entry:

Fortunata leads her fresh recruits to subjugate the ogre demonic brutes that have crossed into their borders. The unfortunate young soldiers, lacking in the strict training characteristics of the Starka Temple Knights, serve as little more than human shields. Despite this handicap, Fortunata exhibits superb technique and strength, slaying the horde with ease. She is more than willing to prove how she earned her lofty position.

What???? This lady is awful at her job, how has she not been fired? Or jailed?? She’s just leading fresh recruits to die to demons when she supposedly has an army of professionals! Is this an insurance scam? Why is she leading recruits when she’s supposed to be commanding the elites? No wonder that cherub is glaring at her!

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Get her, cherub!! #TheTruthAboutFortunata2k17

-Icy

That equal opportunity fan redesign of one Saint Seiya Online armor we reblogged on Friday made us look up more double standard armors from that game… and let’s say we won’t be running out of potential Female Armor Bingo material for some time. 

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This thing really aimed for the stars with all the shamelessly applied bikini armor tropes. I don’t think we got so much of the bingo card cleared in a while! 

Also “nice” bonus of how even when a guy on the model sheets get a pose with more personality, like this one, the lady’s pose still is some variation of “Come play, my lord!”.

~Ozzie

R.I.P. Bingo.

Ah, Kanpani Girls, how we missed you. It’s been over a year since we last saw you, and you certainly have gotten…. sigh. Even though her heels aren’t that tall, it pisses me off that they added heels to historically flat footwear. I’m sure they help with agility or something. I also filled in “random patches of skin uncovered” because there was actually effort put in into showing some stomach. BY ANY MEANS NECESSARY.

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Did we mention this game has “defeated” sprites for its eyecandy mercenaries?

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But this is a deep strategy game, you guys. Very Serious Business. Especially with how the game actually looks:

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Man, that brown and red outfit sure reminds me of something

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Original Character™

do not steal.

-Icy

Image credit to @cypheroftyr (twitter | twitch | @ineeddiversegames)

Alisa Bosconovitch is an android, who despite being advanced enough to display complex emotions in decision making and think of herself as human is somehow unable to realize that her creator denied her all dignity.

The sign off team at Tekken 7 were also unable to discern the worrying implications of these kinds of designs on an android who is supposed to be modeled off the (in game) creator’s own daughter.

Finally, I may not have a Medical degree in Fashion from France, but I do believe these may be the worst heels/shoes ever conceived:

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Seriously, these make even Bayonetta’s… err… Samusglowing pee powered, ankle breaking rocket pumps look well designed.

– wincenworks

Blood Elves vs. Night Elves… AND BOTH SUCK!

@thenightmarerider submitted: 

Found this on Facebook, and as far as I can tell it’s official art. May as well be, because knowing the history of WoW’s design of female armour, this just fits the bill. Multiple bingos as far as I understand it, simply because OH LIGHT WHY?! And of course, you’d never see a male character caught dead in this stuff, so pretty evident in a bizzare elven fetishisation. 

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But guuuys, Blizzard totally tries to do women better now! 

Because Overwatch does some baby steps in that direction, we should definitely ignore how art like the one above (originally promoting Burning Crusade ten years ago), or this or  this or this still gets officially used to promote World of Warcraft

~Ozzie

“Hey, this combination of light armor pieces looks really nice on my elementalist! Let’s see how those exact same armor skins look on my mholy fuck why.

wolpertinger-roadkill submitted (and Ozzie bingo’d):

(I love Guild Wars 2 with all my heart, it’s such a beautiful and fun game with many many good styles and pieces and colors to choose from and to mix-and-match freely, but this. this really bugs me.)

What I notice about Guild Wars 2 fandom is that they tend to express their adoration for the game, while being completely aware of godawful double standard “armors” that can be found there (the game does have better examples for comparison).

Fans of a certain type, like the ones religiously devoted to whatever Blizzard or Warhammer 40k spews out, could learn a thing or two from GW2 players about proper critical attitude towards the thing they like.

~Ozzie

bikiniarmorbattledamage:

So, after getting many reader suggestions and taking time to process the info, we took a closer look at what people behind the upcoming Wonder Woman movie have to say about the ridiculously mediocre Amazon boob armors which the film is going to feature… And wow, was it a ride of predictable rhetoric and obliviousness to blatant double standard. I sincerely hoped the whole bingo card wouldn’t be necessary, yet here we are.

Indeed, Patty Jenkins, the director, also played the “men are sexualized too” card:

I, as a woman, want Wonder Woman to be hot as hell, fight badass, and look great at the same time – the same way men want Superman to have huge pecs and an impractically big body. That makes them feel like the hero they want to be. And my hero, in my head, has really long legs.

Because that: 

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Has TOTALLY the same costuming priorities as this: 

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With lines like that, maybe Jenkins and the costume designer, Lindy Hemming, aim to be the Mari Shimazakis of Hollywood… Except Diana of Themyscira is not Bayonetta, so “she’s supposed to be very sexy and I as a lady find it empowering” excuses do not really work, even in

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context of character agency. Because Wonder Woman is so much more than “looking like a supermodel while kicking ass”.

As a reblogger, @meishuu pointed out, that Oglaf strip was pretty much what the director said.

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I want to be optimistic and am gonna assume that the crew is contractually obligated to endorse every choice made about the movie, no matter how ridiculous it is when you think about it for more than a second.

~Ozzie

more Female Armor Rhetoric Bingo on BABD

Since the Wonder Woman movie premieres tomorrow, let’s remember what absurd explanations its director had for the weirdly sexualized, boobplate-y armor which the Amazons sport in the story. Seems like nonsense rhetoric for how female characters dress is common in DC Expanded Universe films

What makes it funnier, the flat sandals Gal Gadot wore on the red carpet during the premiere would make much more believable footwear for Greek mythology-based warriors than the high heels they wear in the movie. 

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That being said, please don’t read it as an endorsement to boycott Wonder Woman in cinemas. Critics have been saying some great and interesting things about it, so if you decide to watch it, remember that you can enjoy the movie while being critical of its flaws (like costumes that contradict the story’s message).
Still, be watchful of both what’s communicated on screen and behind the scenes, cause those things say a lot about how female-led stories are viewed in the industry. 

~Ozzie

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LeBlanc, another LoL female design made entirely of WHY…

~Ozzie

I challenge people not familiar with League to try to guess what her story/profession is. All I can think of is maybe she’s a model who does double-sided tape commercials and this is her TV persona outfit.

-Icy