The Masculine Beauty of Superhero Figure, Part 2

I decided to empower Daredevil, cause his premise lends itself well to wearing a skimpy outfit. After all, he’s an acrobat who cares about mobility and flexibility. He dodged all those shurikens(?) by doing all those backflips (I haven’t seen the movie since it came out, okay?)! Him doing that while fully-clothed was the most unrealistic part of that movie, honestly. Also, the rustling of the cloth against his skin would get in the way of him hearing important things. His design was really careless. :

So to improve it, I started by cutting out some key pieces of his existing bodysuit, to increase his mobility and reduce fabric noise. I also made sure that we can tell exactly how big his empowerment is. Rendering those abs was a lot of fun! (And the belt buckle says “Juicy” thanks to a viewer suggestion.)

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I also adjusted his face a bit. I got rid of his laugh lines and gave him fuller, more shaped lips. He’s supposed to be hot, Elektra kissed him and everything! And since his face is now hotter, I removed some of his mask to show it off. Mmm, that crisp jawline!

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I was going to give him a feather crown or something, but decided against it.

This one was definitely fun, especially since I never saw the TV show or read the comics, so my memory of DD came only from the unfortunate movie (you’re welcome for being reminded of it). Maybe we’ll empower Bullseye sometime too.

Hope you enjoyed!

-Icy

The Masculine Beauty of Superhero Figure, Part 1

Time to fix a Sideshow Toys figure! With male empowerment!

The modular design of Iron Man’s armor lent itself really great to a sexy redesign. Tons of clean lines to replace metal plates with some hot, hot bare skin and also anatomy-inspired detailing that served as a reference to painting his musculature. 

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I also decided while getting rid of the whole helmet might be against keeping Tony’s hero persona iconic, I did  leave out the lower part, giving it the jawline from the figure’s creepily realistic replacable Robert Downey Jr. head.

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The only actual changes to metal pieces on his costume I did were: 

  • moving those glowy things under his pecs to right over his nipples – glowy nipple armor for the win!
  • changing the shape of his shoes to super pointy heels (also very smol size, because if female designs aren’t allowed to have feet proportional to their bodies, why should male?)
  • giving him an oversized codpiece, so that we know he’s very confident in his masculinity 🙃 

While I went lazy on the rendering of repainted parts, I’m still quite happy with the results. Hope you guys agree. 

~Ozzie 

Shard Mortal Trespasser 

@the-midnight-doe submitted (and Ozzie bingo’d):

Here’s a good example of how “fully armored” doesn’t mean a thing if said armor is still sexualized: this is Shard, Sideshow Collectible’s original character from their ongoing series “Court of the Dead”. The series already has plenty of questionable designs, but Shard here really stands out due to her backstory: she’s a mortal knight Templar that somehow wound up in the Underworld, whose inhabitants then made her armor for her. Highlights include the absolutely bizarre crotch plate (hard to tell if it’s a thong as the cape blocks the back view,) the insignia on her chest that just winds up looking like a literal “stab here” sign, and interesting footwear. It’s a shame, too, because her backstory sounds really interesting and the Court of the Dead series has some pretty beautiful dolls, but also has a metal bony groping hands bra because reasons.

Oh goodie, Sideshow Toys figures, we meet again! 🙄 And this time you guys don’t even have the excuse of adapting someone else’s sexist design – it’s your own all original creation! 

Obviously the bingo score isn’t very high, and I stretched definition of “male equivalent” to “all male-presenting characters in the series”. However, while not bikini-shaped or skimpy, impossibly skin-tight armor is still a staple of BABD content.
The fact that metal gives no additional girth to any part of her body made me confident in marking off the “No padding, just bare skin.” square, despite no bare skin at display.

And no, the “fine bone filaments of this protective encasement were woven around her form by the osteomancers and artisans of the dead” Thermian argument doesn’t excuse the sexualized design one bit. 

Saddest part is that this is what she looked like in her backstory

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This is so much more interesting in every way: costume, posing, expression, even painting detail. Textbook positive example. What a downgrade! 

Thank you for the submission, @the-midnight-doe! Hope you don’t mind me bolding part I found most telling about Shard’s problem. 

Considering how other female Court of the Dead characters look, we’re likely to revisit the property, with bingos and/or redesigns, later. 

~Ozzie 

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Time to come back to Sideshow Toys and probably their best example yet of how much amazing craftsmanship (that sculpt! the intricate paint job! the fabric and synthetic leather details!) can be wasted on super garbage design.
This time, a classic garbage that is Red Sonja in her standard scalemail bikini

How do the mail bra and loincloth even hold up with such flimsy straps?
What is the point of protecting your neck with metal collar when your heart, guts and skull are all totally exposed?
Why worry about reasonably padding your leg and arm protection, but wear a scalemail bra (that will sand your nipples off) directly on your skin?

“Looks nothing like male equivalent” checked, of course, because of Conan.
Not crossing out “High heels” square, since that (cw: gore) is a reasonable heel size for a horse riding and wouldn’t be out of ordinary for a male character either. 

Also note how all those arrows that apparently completely missed Sonja, presumably due to her “costume” being more of a plot armor than anything else.
Reminds me of those couple “bikini armor makes you completely resistant to arrows” parodies we featured before: 

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Full comics to be viewed here: 1, 2345.

~Ozzie

fatherronaldknox submitted:

Statue by Sideshow Toys of Heavy Metal Taarna? I don’t know what she is but this is horrifying. 

Oh, Sideshow Toys and your intricately sculpted and painted figures of creepily sexualized women, we meet again…

Taarna is perhaps the most iconic character from the

boobalistic

cult classic 1981 Heavy Metal animated anthology. 

She’s arguably known best not for being a fierce warrior, but for having the most voyeuristic “gearing up” scene ever, complete with “romantic” music playing as she slowly and sensually dresses up from complete nudity to half nudity. 

[imagine a GIF in here, but it would be too NSFW to actually put one] 

Even her ComicVine description agrees what’s the character’s most prominent feature: 

A strong, beautiful warrior maiden who resolves to avenge a city destroyed by a horde of mutated barbarians.

Ew.

Surprisingly enough, in her final battle she does get seriously injured, so it’s safe to assume her bikini isn’t supposed to be actually protective.  

She’s just badass enough to fight while slashed across her exposed flesh. What benefit could she possibly get from wearing actual armor in the first place? NOT duelling a mutant warlord while bleeding to death, huh? Who’d want to see that? </sarcasm> 

~Ozzie

According to the statue description, this seems to be a post-Loc-Nar design, as it “includes mechanical elements and earthen details inspired by Taarna’s part in destroying the evil Loc-Nar.” So even after that fight where she dies, nobody batted an eye at giving her the exact same… “outfit.” 

Not to mention, those cuts look like something my cat might give me by accident. She has to be a beautiful warrior maiden, after all, and actual injuries are gross.

My favorite part of the description is this, however:

Although she is a silent hero, Taarna’s expression speaks volumes.  Her carefully sculpted portrait bears a look of grim determination, complete with the Taarakian mark tattooed on her neck.  Her windswept, silvery hair frames her face as she looks towards her next foe with silent fury.

Ah, yes, her expression.

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The expression that exists entirely in her eyebrows so that her face can stay unblemished. I guess I should be thankful that her face actually looks like it belongs to an adult.

-Icy

giantpurplecat submitted: 

I got an email notification from Sideshow Toys and saw this statue featured in my email. I’m just questioning how that bra stays on and doesn’t snap and how the bones aren’t piercing her skin. (I imagine they would if she were to move around.) This also feels very BABD Bingo worthy. 

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It always disappoints me how much detail goes into making high quality figures of such shitty character designs.
Clearly people who translated this atrocity from the comic Fathom into 3D form put a lot more thought and hard work into the toy than late Michael Turner who came up with Aspen’s appearance in the first place.

I think it’s safe to say that we’ll be revisiting at least one figure from that collection sometime soon: 

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~Ozzie

Speaking of the description:

The Aspen Premium Format™ Figure stands 22” tall atop a helix of water, which swirls and swells under her command. Aspen is stepping through the surf with ease, with windswept hair and a comfortable, confident pose featuring semi-translucent legs as her aquatic abilities are at work. … Fans of the Fathom legacy will recognize Ernie the seahorse frolicking in the waves beneath her feet.

If that is indeed what the creators consider a “comfortable pose,” then they might want to consider doing professional gymnastics. But Ernie the seahorse is indeed the best part of this disaster.

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Can we get a solo Ernie statue, please?

-Icy