Bingo-ing her was a bit of  a challenge. Not necessarily because Slash checks out too little or too many squares, but because a lot of elements, like the original’s crotch window and the new version’s crotch belt would require custom bingo to actually score.



So, some of my friends started Quake Champions and I figured… this should be relatively safe game.  I mean, the original Quake guy had a cube for a head and Quake 3 was… well for you kids who don’t remember the 20th century, it was what we killed our friends in before Fortnite and PUBG.  The games industry has moved on in a lot of ways since then.

But apparently Slash’s outfit design (originally from Quake 3) has not moved on… just like, weirdly sideways and swapping out a garter-belt dress for a crotch belt. (and like… a leather garter belt under spandex shorts as well)

Please take a moment to consider how uncomfortable that would be to wear normally.  Like, just standing around.

Now remember that Quake is the property that originally popularized (in first person shooters anyway) the gaming stunt we know as the “rocket jump” where one sets off an explosion underneath themselves mid-jump so the force of the explosion will launch them up.

For those of you typing comments frantically, yes it is true that Quake has never placed much emphasis on realism or even making sense – but I’m supposed to grimace in pain when I get gibbed with a rocket… not when I open up the character selection screen.

Hence it is now one of the few games/properties/products which I truly wish would return all the way back to it’s roots and the glory of 1996.

– wincenworks