The hilarious front line in the tragic war against ridiculous female armor
Tag: video games
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..my move is just awful, it’s chauvinist! Every time I fall over my vagina and vulva is exposed. I might as well be an NPC that doesn’t know where to wander!
Felicia Day, playing as Tyris Flare in the original Golden Axe game, (x)
Golden Axe, the iconic side-scrolling hack’em up is also a pretty iconic example of bikini armor:
And yes, Dolph LundgrenAx Battler (that is his actual name!) is wearing a bikini too but as well as being a male power fantasy (or someone I’d expect to see featured at videogamesmademegay) he always looks badass posed like Conan the Barbarian or a classical mythological figure. He also quickly got an unsuccessful spinoff game and you had the option to play a dwarf who at least kept his shirt on.
Tyris on the other hand, despite having a much less ridiculous name, had to wait until 2008 when she would get to be the star. But hey, that’s like eighteen/nineteen years of social and artistic progress right? Let’s see how they portrayed her and promoted the game!
petition for a video game where everything is pretty much normal fantasy stuff except all the female armor is sensible, protective armor and all the males get sexy, stupidly skimpy stuff like leather thongs
I would play that! 😀
~Ozzie
I buy that game just purely based of the fact that it’s got the gumption to do something different, so I want to see what else they might do different rather than just recycle the same tropes over and over and over and over.
I’m excited for this game. I really am. It has things you can do and mechanics in it unlike any other mmorpg that I personally at least have witnessed (such as [x], and that’s just a few). And I’m not going to gloss over the fact that I have seen female armor in it that literally covers the avatar from head to toe. (see link again, for example) It also has a mechanic that allows for the conversion of stats from one armor to another, allowing you to keep a look without sacrificing stats.
But I’m also not going to gloss over the fact that I’m pretty sure that costs you, though there’s a slight chance I’m wrong. Or that nonprotective ridiculous and ridiculously gratuitous “armors” are ever present in this game anyway. (Something I shouldn’t be surprised about, seeing as how the makers of Rift had a hand in this game.) Or that they have the oddest shoot-self-in-foot ad campaign for a game that turns around and has more than one (which, sadly, is saying something for mmo’s these days) sensible armor for females, or turns around and has a trailer like this that helps showcase that they can make females who aren’t pulling you out of the story with incongruous scanty dressing.
But the biggest offense about the armor pictured above? Aside from the fact that it arguably bingo’s? Arguably twice at miniumum? Probably definitively if we could look at a 360 model?
That’s right. If you want to support the soon-to-be-f2p-when-released game by giving them at least a hundred of your dollars, and you happen to want a female bodied toon, then bad news if you want one that’s sensibly armored. Your “I supported this game before it was even officially released!” banner will be an infamous overglorified bikini armor. Stones and Glass Phoenix that you don’t use nearly as often bedamned.
I just…
I’m sending them an email over my discontent. Likely it will fall on deaf ears, but maybe the sound of my money going back into my pocket as well will help…
Now I understand that the MMORPG market is a highly lucrative, but also incredibly competitive one – but seriously guys – alienating women by making all their costumes softcore porn material is not going to help you!
Particularly when your MMORPG can be summed up as “basically like most other MMOs”.
Pretty much all their material seems to highlight the massive disparities between male and female character’s attire, but the one that struck me most was on the PVP was “world changing”:
Is there some massive war being fought over the morality of women wearing pants into battle? Is there some great institution which outlaws worthwhile armor and pants for women in this strange world?
I love how the female version has no face plate, just in case there was any confusion about the gender beneath the armor – we have to see those full lips.
