The hilarious front line in the tragic war against ridiculous female armor
ORCISH BEEFCAKE CALENDAR (2018)
There’s less than 48 hours to go, so we felt the need to make a bonus post to promote this very, very worthwhile Kickstarter – that takes two of our favorite topics: Male empowerment and sexy, sexy, sexy ORCS – to the apex.
Check out the talent they’ve got lined up!
And, for variety, there’s also a powerful orc woman:
We just felt you guys had to know.
– wincenworks
We’ve featured Warhammer Total War 2 on the blog in the past. In fact, we featured a Dark Elf lady with a ridiculous hat in a bingo, and here is a… well, apparently, it’s a witch variant. According to the description of this piece, the developers can combine various heads, torsos, and legs together to create “hundreds of variants.” Look at this variation!
-Icy
Sooo much diversity! Look at them go with all those infinite,
completely distinct variations!
It’s totally not like
when I first checked the source site for this
I was confused why exact same design was repeated over and over…
~Ozzie
Are you sure about that?
Guild Wars 2 continues to be the textbookiest textbook example of most typical of double standard cliches in video game armors.
For a game that
can provide occasional (relatively) nice female armor and has a commendably self-aware fanbase, GW2 itself is lacking self awareness of its very obvious shortcomings. It just plays the bikini armor tropes straight and pretends there’s nothing out of ordinary about a lady in metal lingerie being the direct equivalent to a dude in heavy armor.
~Ozzie
Yikesaroonie. This also seems to be the Norn race, which live in a place that’s so cold, they have giant ice statues just standing around in town, as depicted vaguely in those background colors. I can’t even tell where her crotch flap is supposed to be attached? Is it coming from her underwear??
Armor like this becomes even more hilarious when you’re in the super serious story cutscenes, and people are talking about military tactics and loss of life, and your character is just… dressed like that… being a commander and stuff… yeah.
(The color scheme is also Awful, but it’s customizable. I just wish their algorithm was better at picking the preliminary examples for you.)
-Icy
edit: Corrected the Norn name. Thanks for correcting us, no thanks for the tone, dear rebloggers.
Continuing our Spooktacular HallowStream, we’ll be fixing costume skins this week. They will be terrible and grotesque, but for all the wrong reasons.
Join us at the same BABD time, same BABD channel! Saturday 9 AM PST / 6 PM CEST.
~Ozzie and Icy