This Instagram account, mind_flayer_meltdown has been re-titling classic Dungeons and Dragons covers with hilariously accurate commentaries.  These particular examples are glorious.

Of course, sometimes they get political and it’s just perfect.

It’s easy to dismiss this as “product of its time” or just something of by-gone days, particularly as the current management of Wizards of the Coast and the connected companies have been very actively trying to do better – but its important to remember that these are essentially formative works both in tabletop roleplayiing games and fantasy in general.

That’s… that’s a problem.

– wincenworks

(h/t: Slovenly Trulls for drawing my attention to this gallery of masterpieces)
Specific sources: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6

@parrotbeak submitted:

Came across this. It’s a game by the names of The Witches and Eternal Light, cancelled in 2011 when the company behind it (Revistronic; normally into racing and adventure games) went out of business. I’m almost impressed the empowerment doesn’t include high heels.

Apparently they somehow managed to spend six years working on this (only stopping because the studio shut down) without ever asking themselves what were they doing.

Half the time they seem to understand that these outfits are designed purely for sexy times and a major liability in combat – hence why the women look terrified in so many shots.

The other half the time they seem to think that so long as it looks like they get some badass moments then it’ll all work out.   Not because of character development or a surprise to the audience, but just because well they need something for gameplay right?

It’s really quite amazing how trivial these games seem to think details like “what’s the core experience” or “what are the defining traits of the main character?” are when they just write “boobs” as every answer.

– wincenworks 

What’s up with the constant porn-like panting?

If that’s supposed to be all in-game footage*, does it mean the player has to hear the heavy breathing all throughout game? Or maybe they wanted that trailer to look like something entirely different from an action game, hm… Honest advertising, everyone!


*Do cinematics even count as “in-game footage”? Around 85% of that trailer was cinematic, as opposed to actual gameplay.

more videos on BABD | more about marketing

@superyoshisisland64 submitted:

So I was watch a let’s play of FFX when I came across horror of Yunalesca. Where are here nipples????? 

I’m guessing she lost them betting on a game of Blitzball.  Never game what you can’t afford to lose kids!

More seriously though that has got to be one of the most uncomfortable tops ever devised.

– wincenworks