This outfit doesn’t actually hit that many squares on your (awesome) bingo card, but it’s still so, soooo bad. Leaving aside the question of whether Natasha’s clothes need to change when she picks up the hammer (they don’t)… and leaving aside that awful duckface pout and pose (eeergh)… can I just say ‘yuck’?
Lingerie-shaped
Looks nothing like (Thor’s) version of the same outfit
Cleavage… maybe?
Boobplate. BAD boobplate.
Thigh-high boots (okay, barely)
No pants
Metal worn directly on bare skin
Can’t tell from this frame whether or not she’s wearing a thong, high heels, or underwear, or whether it covers her back (though I guess the cloak does even if her stupid metal bustier doesn’t); and if you want to count the wingy helmet, you could argue for ‘sharp ornamental edges’. 😛
I’m as excited about Natasha proving to be worthy of Thor’s weapon as anyone else, but WOW is her resulting look stupid.
That does not look like a very practical armor, not to even mention that fighting stance. It also looks like poor Valkyrie’s breasts are running away from her face.
As bad as skin-tight metal armor is, it’s even worse when the breast formed parts aren’t even in the right place! The poor girl!
It would be truly a horrific curse to be trapped in such a metal prison, unable to move or even breathe without crushing pain and mega chaffing. She can do nothing as the world’s worst archer fires arrows at unlikely angles towards her.
That is the story this cover is trying to tell right?
– wincenworks
edit: Since the image apparently was deleted from its external sever, here it is:
You know why it irks me? Because that shit ain’t practical, and hell, it doesn’t look comfortable either. Sure, it looks nice, gives the bad guys something to look at, but will it work in a fight? Will it protect the user against swords or arrows or whatever else is being thrown their way? They better goddamn hope those chain mail bikinis are enchanted with a force field, cause that’s not going to save anyone from any lethal hit.
They’re a badass and have the skills to not get hit? I call bullshit. Even the most seasoned warrior (minus the Greeks) knows better than to give an opponent any possible opening. Armor is there for a reason, and that’s to cover for you when and if you make a mistake or there’s something you cannot deflect.
Not to mention, I think having cold hunks of steel rubbing against my girl parts would be the most uncomfortable and unbearable thing ever. I hate underwire bras enough, but a bra made entirely out of steel wire? Haha, no, There is no way that would work, even for aesthetic purposes. Not to mention the chaffing in the nether regions, good god. Metal chaffs. Knights wore clothing underneath their armor and chain mail for a reason.
Oh, and just because it covers doesn’t mean it’s practical, while we’re at it.
This breastplate is a bit of an improvement, but still has major flaws. The way that it curves around each breast would direct blows inwards, closer to the heart. Armor can be pierced, and after enough hits, guess where this breastplate is most likely to be pierced? That’s right, the cleavage. That’s why armor tends to be very rounded, so blows are deflected away from vital organs and such. Makes sense? I think so, too.
What is good female armor? Any armor that men would wear, basically. Like I said, there tends to be a lot of room in the front for the girls, so there should be no problem fitting them in. Here’s some examples of good (or better) armor:
Oh, and this little jewel~
So yes, you can be a badass, feminine heroine- with the proper, practical protection on.No excuses.
A new rule of thumb:
If you wouldn’t look impressive holding a bunny, you’re not going to look impressive holding a weapon.
