Here’s a Bikini Armor Battle Damage original post I promised las week – an interview with one and only The Chainmail Chick, with whom I discussed the reality of wearing an armor bikini.
Bikini Armor Battle Damage: First of all, it’s a pleasure to get to talk to you, thank you for agreeing on the interview.
The Chainmail Chick: It’s my pleasure as well! I really enjoy your tumblr.
BABD: Could you introduce yourself shortly?
TCC: My name’s Allegra, I generally go by “The Chainmail Chick”, and I’m a fantasy model and costumer.
BABD: As the nickname indicates, you specialize in chainmail costumes, especially proverbial chainmail bikinis and that’s the main reason I approached you (other reason being the heartfelt responses you give on your deviantArt site).
TCC: Haha yep! My very first costume was the legendary chainmail bikini. I was modeling it at a ren faire as a promotion for the vendor, and it was about 40 degrees, raining, and cold…
BABD: So we’re safe to say that kind of outfit is not weather-resistant, despite what some fantasy art suggests?
TCC: Are you kidding me? It’s made of holes. The slightest breeze goes straight through it. They’re great for a sunny day at the beach, though! If you don’t mind a perplexing tan…
BABD: Woudn’t metal get too hot in the sun?
TCC: It does get warm but not hot; the way it’s constructed makes it kinda like a heat sink. My chainmail bikinis are all made out of aluminum.
BABD: Daww, no cool magnets to put on it.
TCC: Haha nope! Sometimes people tease me because it’s not real steel but I’m like dude, if anyone comes at me with a sword, I’m pretty well boned no matter what metal this outfit is made out of. Chainmail is only meant to stop slashing damage, so even if it stopped the sword, it wouldn’t reduce the impact at all o_0 Maybe if it were a foam sword I would survive…
BABD: As we’re at it, let’s adress the elephant in the room. Bikini-shaped armor (be it mail, scale, plate or any other) obviously isn’t supposed to serve protective function.
Have you ever met someone who genuinely thought that realistic women warrior would protect only their girly parts?
TCC: I’ve certainly heard a lot of jokes about how it protects you by distracting your opponent. And I think I read a book one time where the female hero had a “magic” chainmail bikini. I assume the magic part was that it protected her like actual armor.
It seems like in fantasy worlds/video games, the cop out explanation is "Her armor is enchanted, duh! That’s how it totally works. magic!“
BABD: Exactly. Personally I wouldn’t mind it if just more fantasy dudes worn enchanted chainmail speedos.
TCC: I would worry about chafing! But I wouldn’t mind seeing that either! XD
BABD: That’s one thing I noticed about your costumes: no actual chainmail panties: always a loincloth. I’m assuming it’s a conscious choice due to chafing/pinching that would result from armored panties?
TCC: I am intensely suspicious/skeptical of chainmail undies. Can you imagine getting a wedgie from those??
BABD: Not to mention obligatory waxing all the time.
TCC: And god forbid you’re on your period.
BABD (trying hard to not imagine the above): So how’s comfort when it comes to metal bras?
TCC: Hmmm. So, a well made chainmail bikini (where they used machine cut rings to make the chainmail and built the curvature into the piece) doesn’t pinch or chafe. I prefer using leather straps over the shoulders/back after having one bikini that rubbed my collarbones raw.
BABD: Ouch, I can imagine that O_o
TCC: Oh, and I never have bikinis that clasp behind the neck. It’s like having someone trying to saw through your neck all day.
BABD: Another ‘ouch’. How heavy such bikini top is approximately?
TCC: Well, like I said earlier, they’re made of aluminum, so fairly lightweight.
My outfits are all costume pieces that I have to wear for long stretches of time, so they’re constructed to be as comfortable as possible (which, mind you, they’re still not perfect, haha).
BABD: Still regarding quality, does the comfort generally depend on how well the chainmail was crafted?
TCC: I think so. there’s a lot of stuff the craftsperson has to take into account when they’re making it – how the weight is distributed, how well it will support, the best ways to clasp and connect things. Also the quality of the materials they use. Hand cut rings simply aren’t as good as machine cut rings (comfort wise) because their edges don’t line up flush with each other.
Shaun (the guy who runs Chained Elegance) has been wonderful to work with. He really pays attention to how the bikini wears and will make all sorts of adjustments to make sure it’s as comfy as possible. I’ve worn some chainmail that was not well constructed, and all the weight was on your shoulders/neck, and it was just awful after a while. Bras are surprisingly tricky things to put together.
BABD: Not so suprised, actually.
TCC: Oh! You know what, though? Chainmail bras bounce. I just thought of that. I wouldn’t want to run a 5K in one o_o
BABD: Maybe a chainmail sports bra should be a new challenge for Shaun? (I’d still woudn’t try any physically exhausting activity in such thing, though).
TCC: Haha! that’d be kinda neat! I should pitch it to him. I agree, though. The bikini is fine when you’re just standing around, but running/jumping about? Working up a sweat? Hellooo rub-age!
BABD: Another thing I’ve heard repeatedly about chainmail, is that it shouldn’t be worn directly on bare skin. A friend of mine tried a chainmail shirt on his bare chest once and still recalls it to be a very painful experience. What would you say about that?
TCC: Mine has been fine to wear on bare skin (aside from the fact that it is verrrry chilly when you first put it on, eek!) I do wear pasties under the bra though. Learned that the hard way!
BABD: Chafing definitely sounds like the biggest thing to be anxious about when putting chainmail on.
Have you watched CollegeHumor’s ‘Female Armor Sucks’? I noticed that bikini crafted for the actress there was actually leather with chainmail on top, probably to avoid discomfort. They addressed pinching of ‘chainmail’ panties too, of course.
TCC: Ahahahaha yes I love that video! all of my friends sent it to me they really hit the mark with that one.
In the interest of science, I did stuff my boyfriend into my bikini once.
BABD: Hahaha, what does he have to say about that experience?
TCC: He said it was cold and it was like having a really ineffective waxing XD
BABD: That’s what I suspected to be the reason my friend speaks so dreadfully of it.
TCC: Yes, I don’t think chainmail and body hair were a match made in heaven.
BABD: And what would you say about bikini armors that are not chainmail?
TCC: I’ve worn leather bikinis, they’re all right(strapless leather bikinis are my personal hell, though. It’s like having a boob corset.) The ones that are just straight up metal coconuts alarm me…
My favorite bikini armor is actually made by a company called "Organic Armor”, and they specialize in latex that looks like metal, so they use an actual bra and then build the costume around that. Sooooo comfortable.
BABD: Sounds very cool! But what’s the main problem with ‘metal coconuts’?
TCC: Oh my Lord. What isn’t wrong with them? Besides the fact they look ridiculous… They’re completely counter-intuitive to how the chest is shaped. We’re not even going to get into what would go wrong if you took them into combat. "Oh man, I LOVE jamming metal edges repeatedly into my body!“
BABD: Even the dreaded boobplate seems like progression compared to that.
TCC: Ahahaha, indeed.
Don’t get me wrong, I love seeing women in beautiful/sexy armor as a costume. The point of such costumes is to look great (and be comfortable!). But if I’m playing a female warrior in a game I want her to look badass and be well protected! Otherwise it just totally breaks the immersive experience.
BABD: Well said.
TCC: I think you have a great post on your blog about how people can design armor to be feminine and functional. I had never even really thought about how terrible the boobplate would be. It’d be like having armor for dudes that redirected incoming blows to their crotch.
BABD: Well, there is some defence in the other post about boobplate, but I lean towards the first one more, either way.
TCC: I think it’s one of those things where like, you technically probably could make a boobplate with some clever engineering and reinforcing that actually worked… Or, you could just make normal armor, which already works.
BABD: Yes! It’s putting extra work to make a thing gendered even though it’s rather gender-neutral by design.
The article about costume design disparity from characterdesign101 is also one of my favorite reblogs. It explains in detail how scantly and/or sexily clad warriors aren’t inherently bad, just the enforced gendering and taking shortcuts ‘for teh sexy’ is the mistake so many game designers make.
TCC: Amen to that. if one person has enchanted armor that lets them wear almost nothing and yet still be fully protected, everyone should have it!
I get so frustrated when guys argue that "men are just as sexualized in video games” because they’re depicted as enormous beefy musclebound behemoths. Which is not at all the same. I’m like no, when they’re dressed like male strippers, then you can come back and have this argument.
BABD: Same here. Even when we assume it’s a problem, it is in no way comparable to straight-up objectification that female characters go through.
TCC: Yeah, you rarely, if ever, see male characters subjected to the same kind of “gaze” as female characters.
BABD: The ‘best’ part is when they bring up a rare case of actual male objectification (*ahem*JacobBlack*ahem*) as if this one solitary exception was here to cure the whole systematical problem.
TCC: Ahahahahahaha, so much yes.
BABD: Thank you for this great interview. Very informative. Good to know that people who actually wear ridiculously impractical armor agree that there’s no place for it when a woman’s warrior status needs to be valid.
TCC: Thanks for your hard work on your tumblr.
Don’t forget to check out The Chainmail Chick’s Facebook, deviantArt and her costume provider, Chained Elegance.