languray submitted:

Haydee is a legit actual game, you can buy for real money ($14.99 USD) on Steam. The dev team for this game was made up entirely of Creepy Marketing Guys. The main character is literally just a pair of (constantly jiggling) boobs, on top of an ass in a thong that screams chafing, and bare legs with pumps. In a sci-fi action game. The worst part is, the character doesn’t even get a face! Literally her head is a blank white surface, robbing her of any humanity or agency beyond pure sexual characteristics. 

Here’s a game TONS of readers asked us to talk about. @languray’s summary seems pretty spot-on.

A faceless pair of cyborg boobs and prominent butt (carefully shoved in the third person camera at every angle) running around environments that can be summed up as Poor Man’s Portal.

It’s also quite impressive how uninspired the official Steam description is:

“Haydee” is a hardcore old-style metroidvania mixed with modern-day third person shooter and platformer mechanics. As well as a sexy character.

“[Insert title] is [insert adjectives that pander to stereotypical gamer] [insert buzzword game genres]. As well as a sexy character.”

Funnily, despite not sharing the same aesthetic or mechanics, Hydee’s “more like this” recommendations on Steam are for Sakura games and similar titles including nudity and/or sexual content (also, for reasons unclear, one casual platformer about Jesus). No other “metroidvanias mixed with modern third person shooter and platformer mechanics”, though.

Guess it’s official that having gratuitous female sexualization front and center means otherwise completely different games are basically the same genre.

~Ozzie

This game is a worrying example of how much the myth that sex sells can distort design priorities. It seems clear that the main character model was basically the main focus of the developers, and the fanbase.

This model is not only used for the Player Character, it’s used for:

  • decorating walls (starting in the very first room)
  • signaling danger with pre-populated corpses in pits and traps
  • providing loot off pre-populated corpses in other places

So basically they’ve used it to tell players to go over to an area for a reward, to avoid an area due to danger and to tell the player this room was boring so they added boobs.  Another “sexy corpses” game.  Just what the world needed.

Unsurprisingly, given it’s target market, it’s reviews are in many ways more entertaining than the game.  If the achievements are to be believed, less than 3% of players have finished the game and less than 50% earn an achievement after the tutorial… yet it has “mostly positive” reviews.

image

It’s like they don’t really care about games, they just want to put their politics into everything and decided they were going to rate this game up regardless of the content so as to inflict their personal agenda on everyone else…

That and well everyone who might be interested in judging it on it’s merit can tell not to bother spending the money or time on it.

– wincenworks

Battle thongs courtesy of:

Honorable mentions must go to Scarlet BladeSoul Calibur, Mortal Kombat, Onechanbara and Fire Emblem

The battle thong is truly one of the most ridiculous tropes in female armor – not because of anything inherently wrong with thongs but rather so many creators inability to grasp that they are tiny bits of underwear that rub very intimate bits

I get it, butts are fantastic to look at – but there’s times and a places for showing off your ass and none of those are in the middle of a battlefield.

– wincenworks

eschergirls:

zackcandraw submitted:

Just when you thought you’re already over the first pic.

Along comes a mobile game that shows THIS (second pic).

Wow, mobile game industry.

Just.

Wow.

That’s my secret, captain, I’m simultaneously never over and yet completely over everything.

That does not look comfortable to wear at all.  Let me guess, breathes through skin? Shoots lasers from her butt and back? Wings grow from her back and butt?  Lost a bet?

We at BABD completely agree with that Avengers reference. All those sexualized designs turn us into Schrödinger’s Critics: simultaneously surprised and unsurprised by how far the absurdity (and genericness) can go.

Though one thing that’s always certain is the true reason for all that gratuitous buttcheek action.

~Ozzie

eschergirls:

zackcandraw submitted:

Just when you thought you’re already over the first pic.

Along comes a mobile game that shows THIS (second pic).

Wow, mobile game industry.

Just.

Wow.

That’s my secret, captain, I’m simultaneously never over and yet completely over everything.

That does not look comfortable to wear at all.  Let me guess, breathes through skin? Shoots lasers from her butt and back? Wings grow from her back and butt?  Lost a bet?

We at BABD completely agree with that Avengers reference. All those sexualized designs turn us into Schrödinger’s Critics: simultaneously surprised and unsurprised by how far the absurdity (and genericness) can go.

Though one thing that’s always certain is the true reason for all that gratuitous buttcheek action.

~Ozzie