The hilarious front line in the tragic war against ridiculous female armor
Tag: thigh high boots
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‘Brown Dust’s (now renamed to Brave Nine) Kiria. Hope you didn’t think the other bingos we did for this game were the worst they got!
Based on her description blurb, I think she is an ex-patrol guard in an empire, turned…. assassin? Which her design definitely communicates. Um. She’s the “black scorpion” which is on her scarf. And her entire ass being out I guess communicates her… desire for justice being loud and clear. Or something. I’m also not super sure how her ass is turned 90 without the rest of her leg rotating also… We’ll chalk it up to ninja powers.
And this is the less ridiculous (though not by much) version of her. Behold, the “improved” version!
The only thing that got an upgrade is that scorpion hood, and it doesn’t even look that good.
Bingo-worthy, shows how male and female characters are not treated equally. The contrast is very clear at this game cover art, and it summarizes bikiniarmorbattledamage in one picture.
Honestly, what is even the point? You might as well be naked, going into battle looking like that. She doesn’t even look like she belongs in the setting. Also for people not in the know, this is NOT a dating sim where you’re a stud (?) with long flowing hair who’s looking for a sexy girlfriend. This game is about fighting and conquering for your royal family. With troops that wear bikinis, apparently. Fantasy~
At least the dude (the player character) has some nipple accents on his breastplate to even it out?
Though personally, I would have just taken away 85% of his armor. When will game devs give the people what they want? ?
Could you guys cover something about Angela in the new Trials of Mana game? Ive been playing it but its honestly difficult just because every time I look at her outfits it makes less sense! Although I dont think Riesz is any better…
A spell-caster lady in a video game who dresses for the beach? It’s more likely than you think! This is from the recent remake, where you would think the developers would want to modernize their designs.
You would think.
The red is her original outfit (pictured above the bingo), which is apparently the outfit a magician from a cold country wears (even though it’s in magical spring, but it’s still described as cold). The blue are added in from her worst class option… the magus.
Why have nice things when you can cry over the sympathy pains of imagining scale mail on your crotch?
Ever wondered if that game could do female robot design any worse? THEN YOU’RE IN LUCK! The bingo today is T-elos, who seems to be some sort of darker (and even more underbooby) counterpart/nemesis to her. When I found pics of T-elos Figma action figure (so we’re provided with 3D view from all angles), I couldn’t not put it on the to-bingo list.
I like me some goth characters with perky attitude (that smile is adorable!), and Jen was actually based on the woman who did this miniature’s paint job, but wow is that costume some generic fantasy garbage, scoring some typical bingo points without hitting a single row.
Obviously not the worst we’ve seen, just disappointingly uncreative.
~Ozzie
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Soul Calibur – please put some clothes on!
This was our first attempt at fixing some of the most egregious excuses for costumes we could find in Soul Calibur games. Both those heroines would return to our streams on other occasions (including a special, already released post).
Ivy
My mortal enemy, Ivy Valentine’s declining standard in outfits. Ugh. I chose her because I love to play her when I do get to play SC (not often these days), and because she’s supposed to be a Machiavellian Immortal Super Villain (sort of), and boy, do none of the lingerie designs communicate any of this.
So anyway.
I picked this concept art from SC5 cause at least it’s redeemable. I always liked her more suit-like designs, because that shows off her personality better, I think. So I went with that and gave her a functional, high-class (cause her fam’s rich) kind of suit. Due to a personal preference for 3-piece suits, I gave her a vest to go with it. I mean, she’s still hot as hell.
I gave her pants, obviously, and of course, actual shoes with thick, sturdy riding heels. My last addition was this thigh sword sheath thing, because I didn’t want to break the lines on her waist and hips with a belt, but it might have been better to give her a belt sheath that hangs in the back. Like this:
It’s not as silly and I could hide the belts under her suit or something. I also wanted to incorporate the snake motif more, so I did a derpy sketchy one on her knee there.
Oh, and the face!
I hope Cassandra is proud.
-Icy
Tira
Tira’s aesthetic not only is “poor man’s Harley Quinn”, it’s also clothes so incredibly tattered, there’s no way they’d stay up under any circumstances.
I wasn’t particularly inspired during that streaming session, so I concluded that as long as her clothes look wearable, it counts as improvement.
Can’t say I’m all that proud of overall design, especially the cut of her blouse and pants, but they came out of desperation to save her from chilly winds and to layer the tights and undershirt I gave her. I guess it’s supposed to be a vaguely clown-like outfit without resembling Harley’s. Got the pink for the tights from her eye color and super faded pink-ish highlights in her hair…
…speaking of which, since her weird pigtails looked detached from the rest of the hairstyle, I got rid of them altogether and left her with a bob. Then recolored (and added some more) highlights matching her overall color scheme.
While the clothes I gave her are a big meh, I’m quite proud of the changes to her face, expression and makeup. Tira is supposed to be super unstable, so a runny mascara matches her personality much better and gives her more intense gaze. Also two-colored lipstick, to compliment the highlights. And I gave her much bigger mouth with more wicked smile, a bulbous nose and a unique jawline – now you can recognize this lady by her facial features, not just color scheme. You’re welcome.
With Sally Whitemane’s High Inquisitor skin, I didn’t want to change much, as her design has some really cool elements and style. Rather, I chose to turn her leotard thing into a coat, keeping the style of her hanging banners. After all, the idea of an inquisitor is much more closely associated with flowing robes and coats, and a leotard isn’t usually considered appropriate attire for religious leaders.
Such a small change in the overall design, and suddenly she looks like a religious leader! I would love to see a skin similar to this one in-game, instead of what we ended up getting.
This isn’t the fault of the redesign, but covering her legs really highlights how the original artist considered Whitemane’s skin to be a color in her palette; without it, she just has red and gold, basically (the black is barely present). The original design just keeps disappointing, really.
One small thing, and granted, it’s hard to see in the picture, but I’d get rid of her ridiculous stiletto heels. I think overall, this redesign really showcases how inadequate the original is in its intent. Thank you so much for the submission!
Looking at this set of character concepts I noticed certain… discrepancy between male and female-coded ones. It seems that the designs are pretty nice and geometrical, and work pretty well overall. Until a woman is being designed, where the priorities seemed to be cleavage and leg over a cohesive overall look.
I believe it was one of the technical difficulty/limited time streams (also the pics were relatively low-res), so I opted to do very simple, minimal changes – just by covering up this pink/teal Grim Reaper-y (?) lady’s bare skin and giving her wearable shoes.
Bonus for no more “eye” designs on her boobs. I kinda like the skirt I gave her. Not much to say beyond that.
~Ozzie
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Ah, Gloria… What in the Nine Hells is even going on.
Gloria here is from Devil May Cry 4, where she is a high-ranking soldier. Yes, you read that right. She even demonstrates her “acrobatic and combat skills” in the game, to even the horror of VergilNero*, the main character. Watch the video at your own risk, not in public if possible.
For those who don’t want to scar their eyes and brains, here’s instead a picture of what the back of her “outfit” looks like:
In case you thought that the front of her could not be outdone.
-Icy
* The series really needs to consider in giving male leads distinct appearances or unique personalities… or maybe just personalities at all.
