iiphides submitted:
Found in a pop up while I was trying to watch something.
Plus bingo cards! The gal on the left is the green board, while the right is purple.
Wow are those extremely awful (with @eschergirls anatomy on the left one, to boot!), I’d say your scores are very lenient.
Sorry to do a rare bingo correction, but those two are SO over the top physically impossible and ultrasexualized I think they deserve cards as fully crossed out as possible:
(Also, I’m using the most recent bingo card design (1.2), we grew quite tired of the “No underwear” square and discussions on what it means).
Okay, so the left one, with her “Hot Chick With a Sword” aesthetic has a pretense of being a warrior. What the other one’s supposed to be, aside from, well…
…a sorceress? …a cleric? …a double sided tape commercial cleverly disguised as a burlesque strip tease?
~Ozzie
This game’s apparently supposed to be a “Greek Mythology Browser Game.” I don’t think it’s physically possible to squint hard enough to make that come across in any way.
Also, is it just me, or do those 2 ladies look like they were made for 2 different art styles? Not to mention, this “promotional material” is orders of magnitude more shameless about the sexy girls than any other art on their website.
Although the “clothes” are still as confusing, so… at least that’s consistent??
-Icy
edit: Readers informed us that art in that web art is stolen. Surprising no-one, game with porny marketing is an asset stealer.
2goldensnitches submitted (and Ozzie bingo’d):
Loki from Fire Emblem Heroes. I don’t even know how to describe this.
Remember that Fire Emblem costume seemingly designed with random lasso tool movements followed by CTRL + X? Yeah, that’s hers.
Somehow the whole thing is even worse than any individual part of it. And every part is awful. So I figured she might be in a need of a bingo.
Also thanks to other readers who let us know this character’s name.
~Ozzie
We’ve featured Warhammer Total War 2 on the blog in the past. In fact, we featured a Dark Elf lady with a ridiculous hat in a bingo, and here is a… well, apparently, it’s a witch variant. According to the description of this piece, the developers can combine various heads, torsos, and legs together to create “hundreds of variants.” Look at this variation!
-Icy
Sooo much diversity! Look at them go with all those infinite,
completely distinct variations!
It’s totally not like
when I first checked the source site for this
I was confused why exact same design was repeated over and over…
~Ozzie
Are you sure about that?
Guild Wars 2 continues to be the textbookiest textbook example of most typical of double standard cliches in video game armors.
For a game that
can provide occasional (relatively) nice female armor and has a commendably self-aware fanbase, GW2 itself is lacking self awareness of its very obvious shortcomings. It just plays the bikini armor tropes straight and pretends there’s nothing out of ordinary about a lady in metal lingerie being the direct equivalent to a dude in heavy armor.
~Ozzie
Yikesaroonie. This also seems to be the Norn race, which live in a place that’s so cold, they have giant ice statues just standing around in town, as depicted vaguely in those background colors. I can’t even tell where her crotch flap is supposed to be attached? Is it coming from her underwear??
Armor like this becomes even more hilarious when you’re in the super serious story cutscenes, and people are talking about military tactics and loss of life, and your character is just… dressed like that… being a commander and stuff… yeah.
(The color scheme is also Awful, but it’s customizable. I just wish their algorithm was better at picking the preliminary examples for you.)
-Icy
edit: Corrected the Norn name. Thanks for correcting us, no thanks for the tone, dear rebloggers.
Warhammer Battle Bikini Brigade (and more)!
@universe63 submitted:
From this article
This was the first image in the rotating slides for the article about Warhammer: Total War. It doesn’t get much better. Later in the article we have these two Dark Elves.
Even his frickin’ FACE is covered, but for her? Armor? NOOOOoooooo. We get… whatever those things are on her boobs that are going to gut her like a fish if she bends over and can’t possibly stay on without glue or piercings. I guess all her armor budget went into that hat.
OTOH, after showcasing the horrible, I wanted to showcase the one good female armor in there:
…but you have to scroll through tons of images (including more bikini armors) before you can find this one. And I can’t tell for sure if it’s a trick of the light or if she actually has a bare middrift because reasons. [sigh]
Personally I think the greatest display of priorities in these designs is this piece of concept art which could almost be “spot the difference” game:
(And in case there is any doubt as to whether this is the artist or the studio/Games Workshop’s decision, I invite you to compare and contrast with the other works in Evgeniya Egorova’s Artstation gallery)
Yeah.
As is so often the case with Warhammer (and many other fantasy settings), there’s so many things to unpack in these: Bikini armor. Evil is sexy, and of course: Nipple armor.
The worst part is that I can’t even bring myself to be surprised.
– wincenworks
shiapolux submitted:
You know what’s funniest about Saint Seiya?
Putting the Online game aside, in the original manga and anime the characters belong to a religious order which was originally males only.
You know how women managed to get allowed to join? They have to wear these stupid and totally impractical masks
(hello? How does she even see? Or breathe? how does that shit attach? They live in GREECE, for Gea’s sake, who decided putting metal against DELICATE bare skin under such punishing sun was a good idea?)to “give up” their femininity so men won’t feel guilty hurting them. And besides that, if a man ever sees them without the mask they have to either kill him or love him.They literally made female warriors cover their faces 24/7 so “dudes wouldn’t get distracted” and then threw some metal lingerie at them. Yep, so much less distracting, sure thing… Thankfully we only ever see about three of them, so the other literal 85 male warriors won’t need to feel pressured.
Even funnier. This particular armour is supossed to be a second tier one, which for males supossedly protects more than the third tier ones, while hers… well, has barely any protection at all.
(Second tier)
(Third tier)
Didn’t you know? Weird mask and Madonna bra are totally less distracting than just being a regular knight, like your male peers are!
So I guess, in a very sad way, Saint Seiya Online is a questionable improvement over manga and anime, since the ladies at least are allowed to show their faces (and see and breathe)… For the low low price of trading ridiculous boobplate for skimpy bikini armor full of sharp, stabby parts!
~Ozzie