The hilarious front line in the tragic war against ridiculous female armor
Tag: skimpy armor
Posted on
Posted on
Ah, this not-so-old design, as I actually finalized it a few days ago, even though I started it back when we just started doing this whole livestreaming thing. So this is Shielder from Fate/Grand Order, whom we featured on the blog before. I took her “stage 2″ armor and tried to actually make it look more like armor and less like… whatever the heck that is in the original. I decided not to give her full plate because she does have that huge shield (now with wheels!).
One weird notable detail is that she seems to have these purple “racing stripes” on her arms and legs; what’s that about? I got rid of all that stuff and instead incorporated the purple as cloth detail. The poofy pants make a comeback, this time with a poofy-sleeved shirt to match! I decided to add some white to her color scheme, because just grey and purple was very boring once the bare skin stops being a color. Finally, I cut her bangs, just because her hair was annoying me. It also didn’t go with the rest of her design at all.
Overall, it’s probably not my best work, and I put in a lot more effort than I should have just redesigning various elements, but it’s definitely more believable as an armor than the original. Seriously, that crotch window… jeez.
I, as a woman, want Wonder Woman to be hot as hell, fight badass, and look great at the same time – the same way men want Superman to have huge pecs and an impractically big body. That makes them feel like the hero they want to be. And my hero, in my head, has really long legs.
Because that:
Has TOTALLY the same costuming priorities as this:
With lines like that, maybe Jenkins and the costume designer, Lindy Hemming, aim to be the Mari Shimazakis of Hollywood… Except Diana of Themyscira is not Bayonetta, so “she’s supposed to be very sexy and I as a lady find it empowering” excuses do not really work, even in
I want to be optimistic and am gonna assume that the crew is contractually obligated to endorse every choice made about the movie, no matter how ridiculous it is when you think about it for more than a second.
That being said, please don’t read it as an endorsement to boycott Wonder Woman in cinemas. Critics have been saying some great and interesting things about it, so if you decide to watch it, remember that you can enjoy the movie while being critical of its flaws (like costumes that contradict the story’s message). Still, be watchful of both what’s communicated on screen and behind the scenes, cause those things say a lot about how female-led stories are viewed in the industry.
Nikko: Immersion breaking female armor. I refuse to play certain games because it seems just ridiculous to me. Like this:
This makes me so mad, not for the obvious reasons, but because it just breaks any sense of the world being real (which is important to me, follow the rules of your universe however dumb). If it’s a fantasy world where everyone’s skin is made of stone- fine- let ALL of the characters run around in skimpy armor. But when the female armor looks like this compared to the male armor… it breaks any sense of immersion to me. I completely ruined Tera for me along with other games (Nier).
Justin:
Escort quests, yeah. Or..
Like fan service…just why.
But yeah escort quests, fan service, and uhhh shooting games…regardless of genre.
They broke a bingo, so they don’t get a Vegeta gif.
I’m so moved… the void of absolute fantasy genericness and blatant double standards that Spirit Stones left behind is filled at last!
Apparently that bingoed lady elf’s body, particularly the holes in her armor, were used as a backdrop on the game’s site [source].
How classy!
~Ozzie
Posted on
Figured that this Goddess Primal Chaos dressup doll-style armor would make an excellent bingo material and boy was I right.
Whenever I look at this underwear lady next to that spiky atrocity, can’t help but wonder whether the underwear stays in its place or disappears after applying the drafty armor. It would be pretty damn awkward if her underpants were gone after she put on this crotchless bottom part… On the other hand, if the bra didn’t disappear, it would be showing through the boob window, and as we all know visible breast support is a big no-no for boob windows.
~Ozzie
Posted on
Posted on
Posted on
Now, there is a tendency at a point like this to look over one’s shoulder at the cover artist and start going on at length about leather, tightboots and naked blades.
Words like ‘full’, ‘round’ and even ‘pert’ creep into the narrative, until the writer has to go and have a cold shower and a lie down.
Which is all rather silly, because any woman setting out to make a living by the sword isn’t about to go around looking like something off the cover of the more advanced kind of lingerie catalogue for the specialized buyer.
Oh well, all right. The point that must be made is that although Herrena the Henna-Haired Harridan would look quite stunning after a good bath, a heavy-duty manicure, and the pick of the leather racks in Woo Hun Ling’s Oriental Exotica and Martial Aids on Heroes Street, she was currently quite sensibly dressed in light chain mail, soft boots, and a short sword.
All right, maybe the boots were leather. But not black.
Rincewind looked sourly at the procession. As the druids spread out around a great flat stone that dominated the centre of the circle he couldn’t help noticing the attractive if rather pale young lady in their midst. She wore a long white robe, a gold torc around her neck, and an expression of vague apprehension.
I don’t know quite who this lady is meant to be but she isn’t matching up with any of the descriptions I found of the two female characters in this book (The Light Fantastic), particularly as one is described as being dressed sensibly in light chain mail which that is not.
What Josh Kirby’s Discworld illustrations are famous for is that they’re anything but faithful to the descriptions from the books. He went a step further with the cover for Sourcery, where similarly underclad lady is shown front and center, not just on the side:
And this time there’s no doubt which character it’s supposed to be: Conina, the barbarian hairdresser. The only clothes she’s explicitly described wearing in the book are a thief suit and a flowery dress. While she does have to, at one point, join a harem where every lady has a notably skimpy costume, the book never mentions an outfit change.
Sir Terry Pratchett was diplomatically polite regarding Kirby’s own vision of his novels, though I don’t believe he ever claimed the illustrations to be accurate until Paul Kidby took over as the official Discworld artist, after Kirby’s death in 2001.
Comedy writing rule of thumb: addressing an inherent problem with what you’re replicatingand then failing to illustrate the absurdity or even why it’s a problem means you fail to make it satire.
For any aspiring games developers out there who thought they’d use this “joke” take note – this was first released in 1991. That’s nearly a quarter century ago and quite possibly before you were born.
