Tag: Female Armor Bingo

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Warhammer Total War 2: Dark Elf Sorceress

thenightmarerider submitted (and Ozzie re-bingo’d):

I was watching the Dark Elves trailer for Warhammer Total War 2. I heard a fantastic feminine narration over the the dark elf on the right kicking ass. Then it zooms out and shows that the feminine voice was actually the dark elf on the left.

No bingo, but damn is it ever terrible! I can just think of the many excuses people would have for this as well. “It’s just like the tabletop game!” or “Dark Elves are Sadomasochists!”

Apparently only the female dark elves enjoy receiving and inflicting pain so much that they wear as little as possible? Yet another case where it would be more practical for a spellcaster to be naked.

https://youtu.be/zB6FaGBz0Lo Here’s the video link for the full trailer. It looked so amazing until the Sorceress came and spoiled it all!

It actually does get a bingo when treated with the most recent version of the game card! Let the dancing Vegeta commence!

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Seeing this game’s penchant for big, silly headwear I wouldn’t be surprised if the defense for her armor was that the costume direction is “supposed” to be ridiculous… Amazing though how it always turns out to be the skimpy kind of ridiculous only for women.

~Ozzie

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R.I.P. Bingo.

Ah, Kanpani Girls, how we missed you. It’s been over a year since we last saw you, and you certainly have gotten…. sigh. Even though her heels aren’t that tall, it pisses me off that they added heels to historically flat footwear. I’m sure they help with agility or something. I also filled in “random patches of skin uncovered” because there was actually effort put in into showing some stomach. BY ANY MEANS NECESSARY.

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Did we mention this game has “defeated” sprites for its eyecandy mercenaries?

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But this is a deep strategy game, you guys. Very Serious Business. Especially with how the game actually looks:

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Man, that brown and red outfit sure reminds me of something…

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Original Character™

do not steal.

-Icy

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witchesandmushi:

jackvambrace:

Ragingghostsbunker asked which outfit was the worst in the game, so I may as well get these out of the way. This is the conjurer raiment. The male sorcerer looks kinda like a neon sign explode all over a german fairy tale dapper gentlemen The female sorcerer appears to be wearing a bikini with a single long belt starting at her shoulder and wrapping down her leg, and then a single thigh high sock which appears to be made of smaller belts.

@bikiniarmorbattledamage

Wow. Soul Sacrifice is not great at female gear but what the actual fuck is this?

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So, the female armor is a bingo-scoring pure absurd, while the male one is exceptionally ugly. Could this design fail at any more levels?

~Ozzie

Did someone look at the pipe dream minigame in Bioshock and think, “now THAT would be a good look for a breasted person!” cause that’s the only explanation I will accept for this monstrosity.

And if it’s not 10 year old minigames and portables, then it’s… umm……. hmm

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…. I have questions but I don’t actually want to know the answers.

-Icy

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Image credit to @cypheroftyr (twitter | twitch | @ineeddiversegames)

Alisa Bosconovitch is an android, who despite being advanced enough to display complex emotions in decision making and think of herself as human is somehow unable to realize that her creator denied her all dignity.

The sign off team at Tekken 7 were also unable to discern the worrying implications of these kinds of designs on an android who is supposed to be modeled off the (in game) creator’s own daughter.

Finally, I may not have a Medical degree in Fashion from France, but I do believe these may be the worst heels/shoes ever conceived:

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Seriously, these make even Bayonetta’s… err… Samus’ glowing pee powered, ankle breaking rocket pumps look well designed.

– wincenworks

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Blood Elves vs. Night Elves… AND BOTH SUCK!

@thenightmarerider submitted: 

Found this on Facebook, and as far as I can tell it’s official art. May as well be, because knowing the history of WoW’s design of female armour, this just fits the bill. Multiple bingos as far as I understand it, simply because OH LIGHT WHY?! And of course, you’d never see a male character caught dead in this stuff, so pretty evident in a bizzare elven fetishisation. 

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But guuuys, Blizzard totally tries to do women better now! 

Because Overwatch does some baby steps in that direction, we should definitely ignore how art like the one above (originally promoting Burning Crusade ten years ago), or this or  this or this still gets officially used to promote World of Warcraft. 

~Ozzie

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“Hey, this combination of light armor pieces looks really nice on my elementalist! Let’s see how those exact same armor skins look on my mholy fuck why.”

wolpertinger-roadkill submitted (and Ozzie bingo’d):

(I love Guild Wars 2 with all my heart, it’s such a beautiful and fun game with many many good styles and pieces and colors to choose from and to mix-and-match freely, but this. this really bugs me.)

What I notice about Guild Wars 2 fandom is that they tend to express their adoration for the game, while being completely aware of godawful double standard “armors” that can be found there (the game does have better examples for comparison).

Fans of a certain type, like the ones religiously devoted to whatever Blizzard or Warhammer 40k spews out, could learn a thing or two from GW2 players about proper critical attitude towards the thing they like.

~Ozzie

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robertskitch submitted (and Ozzie bingo’d):

Hi, I was playing ’Lost Lands: A Hidden Object Adventure’ (a free-to-play game on Steam) and thinking that one of the characters had armour that wasn’t exactly practical, but then I came across this gem where the character actually comes out and says it. 

It’s okay though. She gave me a quest where I had to get her a helmet and shield to make up for all that…

Yet another hidden object game with a disappointingly bingo-worthy costume… Pretty sure she’ll stab herself to death if she as much as leans down. 

You know guys, if you want to have a fetch quest related to ridiculousness of female armor in games, maybe treat it with humor like Borderlands 2 did? Not with the “we know that you know that we know how awful her bikini armor is, so maybe instead of us fixing it, you go find her a shield and a helmet?” attitude. 

And as a cherry on top, she’s just another female archer clad in green boobplate. Gee, haven’t seen that before*, how creative! 

~Ozzie

*Yes, that green archer lady trope is so prevalent I gave it its own tag.

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Cheetah’s appearance in Injustice 2. Why even put clothing on an animal hybrid? She’s covered in fur, what are the clothes for? Because they’re not for any purposes of breast support or protection from attacks… The “outfit” ends up calling more attention to various body parts by putting clothes on them, much in the same vein as Jack in Mass Effect 2. That loincloth especially calls a lot of attention to itself.

Also, does she apply lipstick as part of her grooming routine? What’s going on with her mouth?

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Though I’ll give her that she looks rightfully upset.

-Icy 

Cheetah’s design changed a lot over time, though whether her spots were a costume or her own fur, she rarely wore clothes over them [image source]:

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When she did, though, it was some basic minimalistic garb, not overdesigned “savage” costume  with way too many “exotic” accessories over boobs and butt.

~Ozzie