Ophis (Dragon’s Dogma)
Ophis (Dragon’s Dogma)
Okay, I just have to include this blurb about her from the wiki because it made me laugh:
“The leader of the Westron Labrys band of lady bandits in the western part of the peninsula. She loves to fight, and hates men.”
Is that why she doesn’t wear a normal breastplate, cause it’s too man-like? Seeing the designs of other lady NPCs in the game, this looks like just another generic bad armor design rather than any attempt at characterization. It’s disappointing that they decided that she needed sleeves, but not the rest of the undershirt, which would have prevented the chafing that’s probably the reason she’s so grumpy.
My headcanon is that she’s killing men because they’re the ones wearing comfortable armor, and she just hasn’t looted a breastplate that fits her well enough yet.
-Icy
“I hate men, therefore I dress in a way that panders to them!” reminds me of Oglaf’s Glamazon Way strip.
Except Oglaf is a self-aware parody and makes a point about gendered double standards instead of playing them straight with no subversion.
~Ozzie
tidecullernami submitted (and Icy bingo’ed):
speaking of tharja/rhajat and how they’re being handled in fe:h?? uh…
i’ll leave it to you guys
Thank you, I think. I don’t know what I was expecting from Fire Emblem Heroes, but it was a little better than… whatever this is. I mean, Christmas is the perfect time to wear your fur-lined bikini! A person who grew up in a desert country will totally not freeze her butt off in that!
I don’t know about you guys, but I prefer characters to stay in-character even through holiday events. Especially with a grouchy, anti-social character like Tharja, there’s so much comedy potential! Like, if she was instead forced into a cheap reindeer onesie, so she would just be sulking, trying to hide her shame in the hoodie.
[Pictured: Tharja regretting some life choices]
But of course, that would require that they don’t just use her as a pinup, and we can’t have that.
-Icy
It’s probably fair to say that women in fantasy RPGs are the industry’s most highly endangered species.
I mean, these are women who take on entire monster-infested dwarven mines wearing nothing but a bit of moulded plate metal over their chests and a chainmail g-string.
If it’s not disembowelling, it’s probably going to be some kind of really nasty infection from all that… chafing.
Armour expert calls female boob armour a “design flaw” (via bikiniarmorbattledamage)
This is still probably my favorite summary of why skimpy armor obviously makes no sense.
~Ozzie
It’s probably fair to say that women in fantasy RPGs are the industry’s most highly endangered species.
I mean, these are women who take on entire monster-infested dwarven mines wearing nothing but a bit of moulded plate metal over their chests and a chainmail g-string.
If it’s not disembowelling, it’s probably going to be some kind of really nasty infection from all that… chafing.
Armour expert calls female boob armour a “design flaw” (via bikiniarmorbattledamage)
This is still probably my favorite summary of why skimpy armor obviously makes no sense.
~Ozzie
aleph-ozone submitted (and Icy Bingo’ed):
She doesnt really wear armor, but i wanted to show this to you anyway: Final Fantasy’s embodiment of entropy, the Cloud of Darkness. She’s supposed to be a god-level creature of destruction, who for no reason looks like a human being.
For no reason indeed! Yikesaroonie. From the wiki:
Though the Cloud of Darkness universally takes on a feminine form, it is officially considered a genderless being that merely chooses to appear as such.
(And yes, the entire wiki page uses “it” to refer to this being.) I guess an almost-naked woman dressed in unexplainable blobs of coverings is scarier than just an evil cloud or something, especially when their original appearance in Final Fantasy III looked like this:
This was the final boss, by the by. Much scare.
-Icy
Hey, but it’s aaall okaaay, because they are a powerful genderless being who only chooses to look like a generically sexy woman in absurdly impossible “clothing”! Their appearance doesn’t have to make sense as long as they possess magic and will to be like that.
Yup. Makes total sense to me. Don’t look at that nosebleed I’m getting from cognitive dissonance brain strain! Just accept that this is what a sentient evil cloud of entropy would look like, okay?! *passes out*
~Ozzie
Ah, one of our favorite repeat offenders… Seriously, though, what am I even looking at?? Is this a Red Bull ad?
So I looked up this character and the wiki page had this to say:
Only the most elite knights of the continent of Hiquba are permitted to join the Starka Temple Knights. It is considered the highest honor to join their ranks… At the grand induction ceremony in their hallowed temple, their captain Fortunata looks on forlornly. Her heart grieves at the thought of how few will live to see the end of the next war.
I have a few questions: If these soldiers are the most elite, why will so many of them die? How do they replenish their ranks? Why does the captain worry about her fully-armored soldiers dying, and not herself, who appears to be wearing a Victora’s Secret armor lingerie? Did her left foot step into a wormhole, and is that why it’s disappeared? …What’s with the cherubs…??
Her evolved armor looks a lot better, though she still forgot her pants at home, and I don’t even want to theorize on what’s happening with her breasts…
But with the improved armor comes a worse lore entry:
Fortunata leads her fresh recruits to subjugate the
ogredemonic brutes that have crossed into their borders. The unfortunate young soldiers, lacking in the strict training characteristics of the Starka Temple Knights, serve as little more than human shields. Despite this handicap, Fortunata exhibits superb technique and strength, slaying the horde with ease. She is more than willing to prove how she earned her lofty position.
What???? This lady is awful at her job, how has she not been fired? Or jailed?? She’s just leading fresh recruits to die to demons when she supposedly has an army of professionals! Is this an insurance scam? Why is she leading recruits when she’s supposed to be commanding the elites? No wonder that cherub is glaring at her!
Get her, cherub!! #TheTruthAboutFortunata2k17
-Icy