The hilarious front line in the tragic war against ridiculous female armor
It’s funny how when you have a female character who has magical or supernatural protection, and thus can “wear whatever she wants”, that “whatever” always turns out to be lingerie.
Glock H. Palin, Esq.
Yeah, funny that… It’s almost as if Thermian Argument and false assessment of agency had an ugly baby. And that baby kept turning up everywhere.
~Ozzie
While we occasionally comment on contorted female anatomy, we urge our readers not to submit or tag us in posts that deal only with that issue. Please hit up our dear friend Ami @eschergirls when you see some atrociously twisted female character bodies in media.
The corpse of a mighty Viking warrior has recently been confirmed to be female.
Some historians have expressed concerns that people may over estimate the prevalence of warrior women, nobody can dispute that it’s pretty sweet that DNA testing has confirmed that history’s old system of just assuming if a skeleton has weapons it’s a dude has been debunked.
In related news, it’s also been discovered that during the Bronze Age it was women who were prone to traveling and men who generally stayed a home. So the next time someone claims that women in fantasy worlds should not be riding dragons into battle against trolls because of historical accuracy – feel free to point out to them that lots of assumptions about historical accuracy are confirmed to be historically inaccurate.
Things BABD talked about before:
~ Ozzie, ~Icy & – wincenworks
So, Divinity: Original Sin 2 started off looking kind of promising. Despite their head animator throwing a public tantrum on deviantArt, Larian Studios did seem to be making a fairly attempt to improve next time, after all someone had instructed Thierry to fix the artwork (to his great upset) in the first place.
So on 1 October 2015, their Kickstarter finished successfully.
On 11 February 2016, they published results of a survey they did which showed completely unsurprising results for a studio where creative leads can post rants about their right to be paid to objectify:
On 10 August 2016, it became pretty clear that Larian Studios decided the thing to do with this information was to double down and go back to their regular double standards:
Around May 2017 they started using their current iconic line up, the front and center lead of which has such a ridiculous costume it appears their advertising team feels the need to hide it:
Ironically, despite this apparently being less of Creepy Marketing Guy and more part of the studio culture, a lot of the content could be pretty good and they could probably get a lot more female players if they didn’t strive to save the booplate.
Alas, it seems to commitment knows no bounds:
Can’t imagine why they have so few female players…
– wincenworks
@bikiniarmorbattledamage
Found some unsexualized female armor ?
Once Upon A Time has been pretty great for female armor, design – though the stiletto heels and lack of shoulder protection make this one a little less awesome than Mulan’s set.
However, it’s still well above the standard for today’s media and it’s really nice to see leather armor that looks like armor and not fetishware.
– wincenworks
Yes, this is Nemesis, the Goddess of Vengeance – her design makes it obvious right? Clearly she is revenge in Ancient Greece personified!
This week’s bingo brought to you by SMITE, who continue to follow their usual pattern. That’s right…
@ultrapastaprincess submitted:
Artio got her first skin in Smite, and what a surprise she went from fully covered to perfectly molded cleavage. This is a tier 2 skin, which is usually the base skin plus some extra stuff, not stuff taken off. The icon for it even includes her standing in a winter storm. Not the best equipment for a winter storm.
Yeah…
– wincenworks
We will be back with sexy men redesigns next week ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
We hope you look forward to it!
-Icy and ~Ozzie
Nier Automata: 2b cosplay by @allansenpaii on Twitter
As you can probably tell by now, we’re all for any empowered male take on Nier Automata.
Now, if only there was actually a mainstream game with a sexy dude protagonist who ends up pantless by blowing himself up and then reloading. And if the creator’s only answer to inevitable backlash from dudebros was “I just really like boys.”… that would be peachy.
~Ozzie
Why is “no helmet” in the bingo, I fo mock battles all the time and have little need of a helmet even though I own 3.
There is an extremely critical difference that you need to remember between mock battles and real battles.
People in mock battles are not only not trying to kill you, they’re actually take deliberate steps to make sure you aren’t injured!
In a real battle your head is particularly vulnerable and a high priority to protect for a variety of reasons:
- Head wounds bleed really strongly, between blood in your eyes and problems from blood loss – a relatively light cut can be a death sentence
- Your head is relatively unprotected compared to your other vital regions. Even a glancing blow can do serious damage to organs like your eyes, nose, etc
- Because it is on top of your body, your head is vulnerable to attacks from pretty much every angle except directly below it so it has more ways to get hurt
- As well as being the end point for the common carotid arteries, your head also contains a vital organ known as the brain. Serious harm to this organ can result in life long crippling and/or death.
Not wearing a helmet as part of artistic license is often employed with characters who are either not normally in armor, or who need to be recognizable as unique among many armored figures.
However it is also often employed with female characters because of the idea that unless a character has long flowing locks, warm kissable lips and a dainty little nose clearly on display – men won’t be able to tell the character is female (and hence they’re supposed to be attracted to her).
Basically prioritizing the sexualization and objectification of female characters over portraying them as competent, interesting people, etc.
– wincenworks
So there’s been a few more people asking why we would include no head protection on the bingo card…
I know, I know…
But it probably also bears repeating that generally speaking, that part of the reason it’s a bingo card is because is that singular elements (even completely nonsensical) rarely ruin a design (most people don’t even notice Pharah’s battle thong).
So if a something tends to skip on helmets for men and women alike for the purposes of giving character’s distinctive appearances and expressions it’s unlikely anyone is going to take issue. It’s more about stuff like this:
Or this
– wincenworks
There is an extremely critical difference that you need to remember between mock battles and real battles.
People in mock battles are not only not trying to kill you, they’re actually take deliberate steps to make sure you aren’t injured!
In a real battle your head is particularly vulnerable and a high priority to protect for a variety of reasons:
- Head wounds bleed really strongly, between blood in your eyes and problems from blood loss – a relatively light cut can be a death sentence
- Your head is relatively unprotected compared to your other vital regions. Even a glancing blow can do serious damage to organs like your eyes, nose, etc
- Because it is on top of your body, your head is vulnerable to attacks from pretty much every angle except directly below it so it has more ways to get hurt
- As well as being the end point for the common carotid arteries, your head also contains a vital organ known as the brain. Serious harm to this organ can result in life long crippling and/or death.
Not wearing a helmet as part of artistic license is often employed with characters who are either not normally in armor, or who need to be recognizable as unique among many armored figures.
However it is also often employed with female characters because of the idea that unless a character has long flowing locks, warm kissable lips and a dainty little nose clearly on display – men won’t be able to tell the character is female (and hence they’re supposed to be attracted to her).
Basically prioritizing the sexualization and objectification of female characters over portraying them as competent, interesting people, etc.
– wincenworks
So there’s been a few more people asking why we would include no head protection on the bingo card…
I know, I know…
But it probably also bears repeating that generally speaking, that part of the reason it’s a bingo card is because is that singular elements (even completely nonsensical) rarely ruin a design (most people don’t even notice Pharah’s battle thong).
So if a something tends to skip on helmets for men and women alike for the purposes of giving character’s distinctive appearances and expressions it’s unlikely anyone is going to take issue. It’s more about stuff like this:
Or this
– wincenworks
So, if you’ve ever doubted the influence of Creepy Marketing Guy, remember that generally family-friendly Nintendo has apparently decided that the best way to market Fire Emblem Heroes is to pitch it like… basically every other mobile fantasy game.
This is a real shame since Lucinda looks pretty good:
But apparently not in line with their goal of marketing it as “Mini-dresses, boobplate and garter-belts, the game”.
– wincenworks
(Many thanks to those who messaged in to let me know I’d initially mispelled Lucina’s name)
