Any thoughts on this new Impa? She’s been a decrepit and ancient advisor, fit and muscular bodyguard, dark skinned and swift magical warrior, chubby and joyful nanny, and now she carries a sword so big and heavy she could kill somebody by just dropping it on them. Half of the posts in Tumblr seem to be about wanting to get the game for Impa, and half complains about Shia, the new member of the evil sexy ladies of Zelda (seriously Veran, armor bra?)

Also in a previous ask:

“Boobplate Witch” version 3 actually. The original Boob Witch is Twinrova and the second to appear is Veran iirc. Vera comes with metal armor, boob window and midriff showing.



I feel that Impa is just begging for someone to write a thesis titled “Secondary characters, room for artistic exploration or lazy recycling of names?”

The Warriors of Hyrule incarnation is pretty badass looking, dressed pretty consistently with male characters in Zelda and I can see why people are itching to have her bust some moves on the battlefield:


I mean we could discuss things like the open toed boots, or the eye on her boob – but overall her outfit is stylish without being ridiculous or heavily sexualized.  Since armor has traditionally not been a big thing in Zelda (Link usually runs around his normal clothes) the lack of it and the presence of fantasy fueled weapons is consistent with the narrative of the setting.

It’s also pretty cool that they gave her the big bruiser sword.


Honestly I am not that big a Zelda fan, so Twinrova and Veran didn’t even occur to me when I saw Shia – but they don’t really lessen the wtf value of Shia in any way.


The first and most obvious difference with Twinrova to me is that “Can I fap to this?” was probably not a design priority.  I mean yes, it’s a huge jump from what the sisters look like prior to combining  – but mostly it seems focused on projecting the idea that they’re no longer old – they’re now young and powerful and still utterly bizarre.

There is some genius creativity that went into this image and while it’s certainly playing on some sexualized characteristics (wasp waist, boob plate, etc) it’s not something that would make me hide it from children.


Oh yeah she has an armor bra, personally I find that headpiece more terrifying – it seems an accident waiting to happen:


However, like Veran’s boss – Twinrova, there’s a lot more actual creative design here – it looks less like lingerie armor more like couture gone mad.  There was also no reasonable expectation that you’d see Veran looking like this in the game, since well it was on the Gameboy Color:


So while it’s not good, and is frankly kind of weird – it’s still a fairly basic example of sexying up a villainess because she’s evil and looks like someone put some real effort into making look unique and recognizable even with the limited resolution and palette.

She also came back in 2001 and I haven’t seen any attempts to try to make her iconic in the Zelda franchise since.  She was also an antagonist who operated primarily through possession and shape-changing – so no real expectation of her wearing combat armor.

So while she’s definitely part of many problematic tropes, including villainess armor – it would be disingenuous to pretend that she’s a particularly bad or outrageous offender.


This is the main antagonist in a Zelda spinoff that is supposed to be entirely about fighting on battlefields full of soldiers, using cool weapons and combos and stuff.  Everything suggests this is how she will appear in game:


She’s strutting about in a gown, wearing a ball masque headpiece that has no eye-slits.  And this is what happens when I go to Nintendo’s page promoting the game:


And guess what! Shia/Cia is not on the “suitable for all ages” page for Warriors of Hyrule.   Also, I don’t read Japanese so I have to take a fan Wiki’s word on this translation, but this is what we’ve been told about the character:

Cia is a witch tasked with maintaining the balance of the Triforce. Although a good person at heart, she comes to harbor serious affections for Link which in turn becomes deep-seated jealousy directed towards Princess Zelda. Cia then becomes possessed by a dark force. This leads to her waging war on the kingdom alongside her companions Valga and Wizro.

Yes she was a good person but being jealous over Link has allowed her to be possessed with evil (women aren’t allowed to be evil just for themselves and are apparently prone to possession) who walks around in a costume Nintendo won’t show you (or at least English speaking audiences) on their own site.  Not even an attempt at creativity – for a game that’s to be released on a console that Nintendo says:

Wii U is a brand new home videogame console from Nintendo that fundamentally changes the relationship between you and your TV and how you, your friends and family all connect.


– wincenworks


weerlegion replied to your photo: “Since Shia from Hyrule Warriors, or as I prefer to call her, the…”:

That can’t be boobplate. Boob something for sure, but it doesn’t even attempt to come close to enough coverage to be called a plate.

Frankly, winceworks proposed that once I make version 2.0 of the bingo, a square named “wtf is this?” should be there for the unidentifiable pieces of the outfit.

For now, though, this is close enough for me to count as a boobplate. It “covers” boobs, is clearly made of sturdier material and generally looks and works on boobs like a boobplate would… but has a giant piece missing.



On the topic of people defending bikini armor by saying that they’re distracting,

Does anyone really think about boobs when they’re in a place where their balls could be chopped off? Just asking, since I’m female and all.

I highly doubt it, but let’s ask the cishet male mod. So, wincenworks?


As a man who is attracted to women (which I think is the larger part of the issue), I would say the answer is: No.

I can say that with great certainty because I have:

  • Attended numerous Dr Sketchy’s and similar art events where sexy models pose in very sexy outfits, and artists (many of them men) concentrate and draw them in short periods of time – somehow overcoming the distraction
  • Been to at least one high speed car race where there were numerous cases of women flashing their breasts to the crowd and the racers – and not a single accident or near miss as a result
  • Seen acrobats and aerial performer groups in titillating outfits perform stunts without getting distracted and injuring themselves
  • Talked to multiple bouncers who have assured me that even when there is a performer doing a full blown strip show, it’s not that hard to keep your attention on your job
  • Helped out a women’s self defence course (I was the fencing dummy) which covered a lot of techniques and tricks – not one of which involved using sexual traits for distraction.

It turns out, amazingly, that straight men as a group are capable of focus and basic self control when necessary!  Shocking I know!

It’s also always baffling to me that the only “distractions” that supposedly generate this bonus are sexy bits on ladies.  I mean, there are other things that’d keep me distracted with sheer puzzlement or shock for much longer.


Since there are apparently men who want to contradict this claim, making this argument with all seriousness – I’ve included five points to highlight just how stupid this claim is – beneath the cut.


1. You never see straight male gamers complaining about the sexy female opponents in fighting games

People get really excited about their video games and analyse them.  They analyse them really well, especially when it comes to things that might effect their effectiveness – like when Age of Conan gave female characters slower animations.

Now, given AoC is a game with a lot of Player vs Player action, and one with plenty of female enemies is questionable attire – one would think that the predominantly male player base would have celebrated when Funcom reduced bust sizes.  Nope, they rioted and demanded the big boobs come back!

I have never seen any noteworthy review, play guide or walkthrough warn that a particular opponent would be difficult due to THE DREADED DISTRACTION FACTOR. I have never seen anyone indicate that a female character is too powerful due to the distraction factor – even in games like Soul Calibur, Dead or Alive or Tekken where players need intense focus so they can make decisions instantly while fighting jiggling beauties in improbable costumes. Not one.

2. If distraction bonus actually applied, sexy armor mods would be self sabotage

Not only do audiences not complain about “distraction factor” getting in their way – they actively sabotage themselves. Visit NexusMods, search for “armor”: Even without enabling “adult content”, I guarantee you that you will come across multiple mods that are pitched entirely on their sex appeal.

Why oh why would any player sabotage themselves like this?  If the sight of a perfect butt is so overwhelming it leads to a fatal mistakes, why would anyone set themselves up to be thwarted over and over?

3. Zero historical precedent

I hear the cries already, “But those are just video games – it’s different in real life!”.  However, if history is to be believed – there is clearly no basis behind this.

Not a single army in modern times that allows women in combat has proposed capitalising on “distraction factor”.  Military groups around the world have tried a lot of tricks to give them advantages over the enemy, none of them have deployed cleavage armor.  As we’ve covered before, there is no shortage of female soldiers in history.

Spartans were quite accepting of homosexuality and the fiercest warriors in Ancient Greece – apparently their soldiers were never distracted by one another.  Amazons were feared due to stories that they sacrificed a breast in order to shoot their bows better, not stories of hypnotic cleavage.

4. Nobody is that good looking

How would you even know if the people you’re fighting are going to be into you?  Despite the constant pressure by modern society to force heterosexuality and a singular beauty standard – there are many people who’s tastes differ radically.  

There are people who are primarily attracted by a particular build or physical trait. There are people who are not attracted to popular aesthetics at all.. There are people who are not attracted to women. There are people who are not really swayed by physical appearances and there are people who not attracted to anyone.

Even if you have a body that is attractive to 90% of your opponents, that still means one in ten opponents is going to be completely unhindered and have a massive advantage since your tactics hinge on this “distraction factor”.

5. Fights are messy and it only takes one mistake

Okay, you’re fighting away in a group against another group, hypno-boobs swaying seductively at all who approach from the front – someone stabs you from the side: Game over.  

The guy who’s just not into you (see above) attacks from the front, blocking the view for another of his buddies: Game over.  

It’s dark and so they can’t see your hypno-boobs: Game over.

Incoming burning oil, a magic fireball, incoming projectiles, rabid wolves and all manner of fantasy monsters are completely indifferent to hypno-boobs.

It is really a lot easier to die in a sword fight than most people give credit for, because there are so many viable targets (many take a while to kill you, but that’s of little comfort while you’re dying)

In summary: “It’d defend them by distracting the enemy…” is perhaps the worst possible defence anyone can bring to the table, ever.  There is only one appropriate response to someone making this as a serious claim: