On the topic of people defending bikini armor by saying that they’re distracting,

Does anyone really think about boobs when they’re in a place where their balls could be chopped off? Just asking, since I’m female and all.

I highly doubt it, but let’s ask the cishet male mod. So, wincenworks?


As a man who is attracted to women (which I think is the larger part of the issue), I would say the answer is: No.

I can say that with great certainty because I have:

  • Attended numerous Dr Sketchy’s and similar art events where sexy models pose in very sexy outfits, and artists (many of them men) concentrate and draw them in short periods of time – somehow overcoming the distraction
  • Been to at least one high speed car race where there were numerous cases of women flashing their breasts to the crowd and the racers – and not a single accident or near miss as a result
  • Seen acrobats and aerial performer groups in titillating outfits perform stunts without getting distracted and injuring themselves
  • Talked to multiple bouncers who have assured me that even when there is a performer doing a full blown strip show, it’s not that hard to keep your attention on your job
  • Helped out a women’s self defence course (I was the fencing dummy) which covered a lot of techniques and tricks – not one of which involved using sexual traits for distraction.

It turns out, amazingly, that straight men as a group are capable of focus and basic self control when necessary!  Shocking I know!

It’s also always baffling to me that the only “distractions” that supposedly generate this bonus are sexy bits on ladies.  I mean, there are other things that’d keep me distracted with sheer puzzlement or shock for much longer.


Since there are apparently men who want to contradict this claim, making this argument with all seriousness – I’ve included five points to highlight just how stupid this claim is – beneath the cut.


1. You never see straight male gamers complaining about the sexy female opponents in fighting games

People get really excited about their video games and analyse them.  They analyse them really well, especially when it comes to things that might effect their effectiveness – like when Age of Conan gave female characters slower animations.

Now, given AoC is a game with a lot of Player vs Player action, and one with plenty of female enemies is questionable attire – one would think that the predominantly male player base would have celebrated when Funcom reduced bust sizes.  Nope, they rioted and demanded the big boobs come back!

I have never seen any noteworthy review, play guide or walkthrough warn that a particular opponent would be difficult due to THE DREADED DISTRACTION FACTOR. I have never seen anyone indicate that a female character is too powerful due to the distraction factor – even in games like Soul Calibur, Dead or Alive or Tekken where players need intense focus so they can make decisions instantly while fighting jiggling beauties in improbable costumes. Not one.

2. If distraction bonus actually applied, sexy armor mods would be self sabotage

Not only do audiences not complain about “distraction factor” getting in their way – they actively sabotage themselves. Visit NexusMods, search for “armor”: Even without enabling “adult content”, I guarantee you that you will come across multiple mods that are pitched entirely on their sex appeal.

Why oh why would any player sabotage themselves like this?  If the sight of a perfect butt is so overwhelming it leads to a fatal mistakes, why would anyone set themselves up to be thwarted over and over?

3. Zero historical precedent

I hear the cries already, “But those are just video games – it’s different in real life!”.  However, if history is to be believed – there is clearly no basis behind this.

Not a single army in modern times that allows women in combat has proposed capitalising on “distraction factor”.  Military groups around the world have tried a lot of tricks to give them advantages over the enemy, none of them have deployed cleavage armor.  As we’ve covered before, there is no shortage of female soldiers in history.

Spartans were quite accepting of homosexuality and the fiercest warriors in Ancient Greece – apparently their soldiers were never distracted by one another.  Amazons were feared due to stories that they sacrificed a breast in order to shoot their bows better, not stories of hypnotic cleavage.

4. Nobody is that good looking

How would you even know if the people you’re fighting are going to be into you?  Despite the constant pressure by modern society to force heterosexuality and a singular beauty standard – there are many people who’s tastes differ radically.  

There are people who are primarily attracted by a particular build or physical trait. There are people who are not attracted to popular aesthetics at all.. There are people who are not attracted to women. There are people who are not really swayed by physical appearances and there are people who not attracted to anyone.

Even if you have a body that is attractive to 90% of your opponents, that still means one in ten opponents is going to be completely unhindered and have a massive advantage since your tactics hinge on this “distraction factor”.

5. Fights are messy and it only takes one mistake

Okay, you’re fighting away in a group against another group, hypno-boobs swaying seductively at all who approach from the front – someone stabs you from the side: Game over.  

The guy who’s just not into you (see above) attacks from the front, blocking the view for another of his buddies: Game over.  

It’s dark and so they can’t see your hypno-boobs: Game over.

Incoming burning oil, a magic fireball, incoming projectiles, rabid wolves and all manner of fantasy monsters are completely indifferent to hypno-boobs.

It is really a lot easier to die in a sword fight than most people give credit for, because there are so many viable targets (many take a while to kill you, but that’s of little comfort while you’re dying)

In summary: “It’d defend them by distracting the enemy…” is perhaps the worst possible defence anyone can bring to the table, ever.  There is only one appropriate response to someone making this as a serious claim: