The hilarious front line in the tragic war against ridiculous female armor
Tag: no pants
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This design comes from a game about Norse mythology. I challenge you, our readers, to take a guess at which character from Norse mythology this is. I’ll wait.
Did you say Hel, who is the villain of the game Viking: Battle for Asgard? If you did, you must have read our post about Foldable HumanDan Olson looking into So Bad They’re Good games from a few months back. Because that awfully specific answer is indeed correct…. unfortunately.
I can’t even comprehend what the art direction was for this concept. What in the Hel (ha) is this? I was only able to find this single promo picture where the full glory of this design is shown, which I can only assume is because if she stands in any other way, that belt bra will slip off.
But let’s also not forget Freya, who also makes an appearance in the game!
And on today’s episode of Doing Women Better™, Blizzard finally granted us the much requested Magician Symmetra. Only instead of going for something super classy like the many fan interpretations out there or even just ladies in suits from real life, they went with…this.
Lack of pants and framing her bust (what is even with those metal plates) aside, the fact that this is a legendary skin and costs 3000 credits when it’s so close to her default skin makes this whole thing very disappointing.
Thanks for submitting this highly requested post, including some quality scathing commentary! The Saga of Pantless Symmetra continues.
This would be insulting enough just by the virtue of being a fetishy leotard instead of a suit, but what the hell are those boob-holder bars?! They’re some sort of garbage afterthought slapped on to make this look more “sci-fi”, I guess? Why would a costume need that? Because you can’t be science fiction without framing the tits with random pieces of metal?
Since the bingo lacks a “What the fuck am I looking at?!” square, I marked “Boobplate” instead.
Fun fact: a convention I attended last week had an Overwatch: Character design done right! talk that I just couldn’t subject myself to come to, both out of the fear of my brain melting on sight and because I didn’t want to rain on some enthusiastic fan’s parade when the time for Q&A comes.
I’m still amused that at the same time Blizzard made THIS, easily disproving the “character designdone right” claim.
One of my earlier redesigns that I finished recently because of things was for Harley Quinn from Injustice. So, the problems here are pretty obvious… Lots of pointless and impractical skin, shit color saturation…. everything….
I originally was going to make her outfit more like a jester’s, in the vein of the original Harley design. I was just using the original design as a jumping-off point, but it was becoming very dull and uninteresting.
[Pictured above: The diamond market crash]
I ended up scrapping it for a more DIY look. I figured Harley would have fun making a quirky outfit to commit crimes in.
I kept the color scheme, though upped the saturation by a bunch. The idea is that she bought 2 pairs of identical but differently colored pants, a biker jacket, a tank top and some fabric. Then she went home, cut the pants in half and sewed them together, cut out huge chunks of the jacket in diamond shapes, and cut the jacket sleeves so they’re not as restricting. Then she just sewed a bunch of diamonds on everything, without any particular care for making it look professional. I think adding some sequins to her jacket would also not go amiss.
I hated her hair, so I cut it off. I also changed her face a little bit, and gave her back her smile!
Since she’s not a super-powered person with tons of money, I didn’t want to go with the standard power suit look, especially since I don’t think she would prefer one as a character. However, I also don’t think she would prefer to wear a Victoria’s Secret ensemble but with leather belts rubbing against her bare skin. She’d stick to her theme, but in a fun way, and that’s what I tried to convey in the redesign.
-Icy
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King’s Raid is a mobile game with good graphics and artwork, typically addicting gameplay through psychologically rewarding progression mechanics, and a fun, cooperative Raid gameplay mode.
In other words, a Skinner box game with Sexy Girls, got it. Could have just said that, it’s much shorter.
I got an ad for this game the other day, so I decided to check out the wiki for some Bingo material, and now I’m feeling really bad for the poor Bingo card. This one is literally the first character listed under their first category in the Heroes tab: Aselica the Knight (she’s a Tank, can’t you tell??). Here’s a better look at her “armor:”
Good Graphics and Artwork™, as advertised.
And of course, this is what her lesser version looks like:
Her legs must hurt… Olivia is pretty fun but I never understood why they made her use a sword when she had these cool rings. Like… that’s not less believable that chrom using his dumbass swords that he keeps sticking into the ground all the fucking time.
I think that fixing a plate armor design is fairly straight-forward in what needs to fixed: put a functional breastplate on the tiddy, add protection to some vital areas that got missed, and add some fabric in-between to pad the armor. I find it harder to fix armor for characters who don’t really wear it. This redesign did that wonderfully. It’s just so darn beautiful!
In Fire Emblem Awakening, Olivia starts out as a Dancer class, and boy do her dancing animations with that original getup look like absolute crap. But I would loooove to see the redesign in motion! There’s so much more potential for interesting movements with all that flowing fabric. I also never noticed Olivia even had a jingly belt until I saw the redesign, and then looked back at the original. That’s how you know you have a Quality Character Design™.
I love the subtle touch of the seam lines going down her legs, which lets us know that even underneath the transparent fabric, she is wearing opaque tights. It really is the little things.
I definitely look forward to featuring more of this artist’s redesigns on the blog. <Sequel Hook>
Viking: Battle for Asgard is kind of amazing in that not only does have the promise of this – but if the steam page is to be believed the developers are still, to this day, convinced this is a great adaption of Norse myth and history.
Unsurprisingly, the studio decided this was probably not the direction they wanted to go long term and went back to making their regular games… until they got a license for an certain othertotally creative property.
– wincenworks
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Tharja – Medieval Fantasy Body Stocking Technology
Jumping forward a few streams for this post, since this was back when I went way over our allotted time, and those old designs aren’t done yet… They’ll be done one day. ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ
So this was more of a fashion redesign exercise. Tharja, from Fire Emblem Awakening, is a sorceress. In terms of game mechanics, they tend to stay in the back and be pretty squishy, so I don’t expect her to wear full plate. I just wanted her to not wear… that thing. The body stocking, that somehow exists in this universe. Oh, and she comes from a hot desert region, so….
Since this is a fantasy universe that borrows very little from actual desert-dwelling peoples, I took inspiration from her counterpart, who’s from the same country. He looks like this:
So I took the skirt-like thing and the shirt he wears and adjusted it for Tharja. I liked her belt, so I kept it, and instead changed the waistline of the skirt to try and form some nice shapes.
Because of the skirt, however, the cape became redundant. I tried 2 different versions of it before scrapping it. Looking at it now, I should have just made it connect to her sleeves at the wrist. Without the cape, the little dangly things on it looked weird, and I hated her hair from the start, so I basically just moved the shapes around. Got rid of the ponytail thing, while adding a similar shape to her circlet, though I probably should have made it smaller. As for her tights, I was too lazy to paint over them, but in theory, they’d be like Henry’s (the boy above) legging-type things.
The last thing I did was adjust the color balance. Her colors were so muted in the original, especially her golden accents, so I upped the saturation on that to complement the purple.
Overall, I was trying to go for a more professional, distancing look. Tharja is antisocial and strange, after all. I do like the redesign, though there’s always things you see after you “finish” a work that could be improved upon. Honestly, I kind of want to redo Henry’s design, cause it’s kinda bad… Purple on purple; genus.
Excuse me, but literally the first concept for this character is fully armored, in reasonable plate, with no Tiddies and with actual pants??
E X C U S E M E ? ? ?
-Icy
Just in case the “no pants” part wasn’t clear enough from the image used by the OP, here’s some concept art for the final design, pants definitely not included:
I think it’s reasonable to say that Dragon’s Dogma, both with outright bad stuff and clearly missed opportunities, like this one, belongs firmly on our Wall of Shame.
Are those super heavy armors on all the male characters, including Superman who’s way more invincible than Diana? Yes, they are.
Truly, the double standard is but a cherry on top of the utter ugliness that is this overdesigned figure set.
This reminds me of the old Jimquisition video in which Jim uses another ridiculous Square Enix statue of egdelord Batman as a perfect metaphor for Squeenix’s skewed priorities in game and visual design:
