Gotta Fix Everyone’s Weird Boob “Armor”

I was frustrated with how Marvel’s Valkyrie was just a sequence of weird design decisions. This particular version ticked me off because they had the cool cuirass with the abs, but then the chafing and the metal boob cones…. ugh.

I started with fixing that chest armor: getting rid of the weird metal bra and adding cool (to me, anyway) shoulder guards. I wanted to give her a more powerful look. I added some small dangling leather straps to mirror those on her belt.

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When it was time to fix her…. boots? I took the liberty of, at the same time, painting over poor Hel’s painful-looking <biggest air-quotes ever> “armor.” I actually started giving her a more reasonable breastplate but gave up. That would be a project all on its own.

Those leg ropes seemed very stupid to me, and they didn’t go with the rest of the design, so I gave her plate armor that kept the small shapes. I then gave her simple pants to be the large shape in the design. In hindsight, I feel like I should have gone through with the metal gauntlets I wanted to give her but bailed on.

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Finally, I replaced her Generic Pout™ with a more determined expression. Now both ladies can go forth and fight whoever it is they’re fighting. 

-Icy

Art by Andy Park (top), and Ryan Meinerding (bottom)

These are just 2 of the various Valkyrie concept designs that were drawn up for the movie Thor: Ragnarok, and instead they went with a very bland, ugly, and boobtastic design. Even if the producers were worried that the color palette was too close to Hela’s, you can still take the armor itself and adjust the colors a bit. Just… what a shame we didn’t get to see this Valkyrie on the big screen. Hopefully, future movies will give her the kickass design she deserves.

-Icy

h/t: @grossujin

There’s been some excitement over Valkyrie’s full armor for Thor Ragnarok… but frankly I’m disappointed for the most part. 

Even Tessa’s Thompson’s badass attitude can’t fix the weirdness of this design. Top plate even has a literal hole between the breasts. It shows the layer of armor beneath instead of bare skin, but it’s still a weakening and blow-directing point on the chest. And even though relatively flat, the breastplate overall brings plenty of attention to the boobs with the shapes and colors (could it be any less subtle than painting the titties gold?).

I’m starting to think that the other, vacuum-sealed chest Valkyrie costume was some sort of “See? We can do worse!” decoy, so that the audience’s expectations are lowered enough to accept just a slightly less insulting boobplate as an improvement.

And that’s a shame, because with a better chest piece (and without the wedge heels) this could have been a cool, believable female warrior costume (even if more on the aesthetic than practical side). 

Seems to me like boob ornamentation always gets in the way of Valkyrie looking truly great, no matter which iteration of the character it is.

~Ozzie

Is it just me or does she look like she’s a party member in Mass Effect? I mean…

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She does not look like she belongs at all… Is she maybe Space Valkyrie from the Future??

-Icy

h/t: @olofahere

more of Marvel’s Valkyrie on BABD

batmanisagatewaydrug:

peachy-keen-glam-queen:

saved-by-the-notepad:

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I mean…

@batmanisagatewaydrug

so not only is this Boob Armor appallingly ugly, but it’s extra inexplicable when you consider

they clearly goddamn know how to make lady armor without boobs, what the fuck happened?

Thanks to many readers who sent photos of the MCU Valkyrie in Thor: Ragnarok our way! 

Remembering that Lady Sif from the same franchise always presented as “Stupid Hollywood Bullshit, But Demonstrates That a Completely Armored Woman Can Still Be Sexy AF” and her armor veered on the smoother side of boobplate, it’s sad to see Valkyrie’s breastplate fully embrace the vacuum-sealed aesthetic. 

Is Valkyrie’s role in Marvel to always come in and bluntly remind us that female armor has to have hypervisible boobs

What a spectacular way to ruin an otherwise cool costume design and the introduction of Tessa Thompson, a woman of color, in a role of Norse-inspired character.

~Ozzie

batmanisagatewaydrug:

peachy-keen-glam-queen:

saved-by-the-notepad:

image
image
image

I mean…

@batmanisagatewaydrug

so not only is this Boob Armor appallingly ugly, but it’s extra inexplicable when you consider

they clearly goddamn know how to make lady armor without boobs, what the fuck happened?

Thanks to many readers who sent photos of the MCU Valkyrie in Thor: Ragnarok our way! 

Remembering that Lady Sif from the same franchise always presented as “Stupid Hollywood Bullshit, But Demonstrates That a Completely Armored Woman Can Still Be Sexy AF” and her armor veered on the smoother side of boobplate, it’s sad to see Valkyrie’s breastplate fully embrace the vacuum-sealed aesthetic. 

Is Valkyrie’s role in Marvel to always come in and bluntly remind us that female armor has to have hypervisible boobs

What a spectacular way to ruin an otherwise cool costume design and the introduction of Tessa Thompson, a woman of color, in a role of Norse-inspired character.

~Ozzie