It’s Time to Retire “Boob Plate” Armor. Because It Would Kill You

It’s Time to Retire “Boob Plate” Armor. Because It Would Kill You

Fantasy Armor and Lady Bits

Fantasy Armor and Lady Bits

Princeless Lampoons Popular Female Armor

jedda-martele submitted:

Princeless is a great, fairly new comic book series aimed at kids.  The protagonist is Princess Adrienne, who has decided to rescue herself.  There are plenty of moments that mock standard comic book conventions.  Here’s one about ladies’ armor.image

Oh, good one!

I remember the subverted pin-up cover of this comic that was featured on Escher Girls that one time.

Considering it’s a kids comic, not young adult one, I’m starting to think that all those clever references in Princeless may fly over the heads of target audience.

As if that wasn’t enough, twin-bulged breastplates ignore the anatomical makeup of the female breast itself. To make a long story short, the breast largely consists of fat and modified sweat glands (for the production of milk, that is), and hence it’s not nearly as solid as a comparable mass of muscle. So all but the largest breasts can be bound quite flat against the woman’s chest without occasioning too much discomfort. In turn, this means a fighting woman probably isn’t going to need a breastplate with a chest profile larger than one worn by a fighting man of a similar height and general body shape, and therefore it’s quite likely that the woman would simply fit into the man’s breastplate with the aid of some padding to make up the slack in the waist and shoulders.