Tag: Female Armor Bingo

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Hand-shaped bras a rare, but astounding “treat” among many, many gross boob-related costume tropes. And somehow, they’re almost always designed as skeleton/corpse hands, or at least monstrous looking claws… Because boob-grabbing wasn’t creepy enough on its own merits, I  suppose. 

What’s additionally weird about this particular one, is that if you look at her left breast, the hand-bra is not even holding it. It’s like hover hand, but extremely creepy instead of extremely awkward. 

BTW, because nobody can prove me wrong on this one, I’ll assume that this lady lost her eye to one of those stabby spikes in her “armor”.

~Ozzie

edit: We’ve been noted that this artwork is actually stolen from League of Legends fanart. BABD’s policy is not to put down fan/amateur/hobby/otherwise non-commercial artists, and I’m sorry for accidentally doing that. 

Shame on Dragon 2 for (not surprisingly, considering it’s a very generic shovelware/asset-flippy web ad) stealing someone else’s work!

~Ozzie

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Saint Seiya Online makes a comeback to the bingo, again with lots of stabby bits, gendered posing and shameless double standard in design, yay!

~Ozzie

I love how the little lotus posed armor totally just sits there pretending like the woman armor is even close to resembling it. It really shows that they either didn’t realize or didn’t care about anything more than showing some skin. SMH.

-Icy

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Yes, this is Nemesis, the Goddess of Vengeance – her design makes it obvious right?  Clearly she is revenge in Ancient Greece personified!

This week’s bingo brought to you by SMITE, who continue to follow their usual pattern.  That’s right…

@ultrapastaprincess submitted:

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Artio got her first skin in Smite, and what a surprise she went from fully covered to perfectly molded cleavage. This is a tier 2 skin, which is usually the base skin plus some extra stuff, not stuff taken off. The icon for it even includes her standing in a winter storm. Not the best equipment for a winter storm.

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Yeah…

– wincenworks

More on SMITE on BABD

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[full size pic]

Ah, one of our favorite repeat offenders… Seriously, though, what am I even looking at?? Is this a Red Bull ad?

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So I looked up this character and the wiki page had this to say: 

Only the most elite knights of the continent of Hiquba are permitted to join the Starka Temple Knights. It is considered the highest honor to join their ranks… At the grand induction ceremony in their hallowed temple, their captain Fortunata looks on forlornly. Her heart grieves at the thought of how few will live to see the end of the next war.

I have a few questions: If these soldiers are the most elite, why will so many of them die? How do they replenish their ranks? Why does the captain worry about her fully-armored soldiers dying, and not herself, who appears to be wearing a Victora’s Secret armor lingerie? Did her left foot step into a wormhole, and is that why it’s disappeared? …What’s with the cherubs…??

Her evolved armor looks a lot better, though she still forgot her pants at home, and I don’t even want to theorize on what’s happening with her breasts…

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But with the improved armor comes a worse lore entry:

Fortunata leads her fresh recruits to subjugate the ogre demonic brutes that have crossed into their borders. The unfortunate young soldiers, lacking in the strict training characteristics of the Starka Temple Knights, serve as little more than human shields. Despite this handicap, Fortunata exhibits superb technique and strength, slaying the horde with ease. She is more than willing to prove how she earned her lofty position.

What???? This lady is awful at her job, how has she not been fired? Or jailed?? She’s just leading fresh recruits to die to demons when she supposedly has an army of professionals! Is this an insurance scam? Why is she leading recruits when she’s supposed to be commanding the elites? No wonder that cherub is glaring at her!

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Get her, cherub!! #TheTruthAboutFortunata2k17

-Icy

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Amelia in Fire Emblem Heroes

FEAnon submitted (and Ozzie bingo’d):  

So the character Amelia from Fire Emblem: The Sacred Stones was added to the inter franchise crossover, Fire Emblem Heroes in her General form, General being a heavily armored character class in Fire Emblem. 

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In Sacred Stones, Amelia looks the part if she becomes an armored class, but something seems off from her Heroes depiction. 

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Amelia seems to have forgotten not only leggings fro her armor, but pants. Maybe I’m missing something, but why wear heavy armor if your entire lower body is exposed? That pose and the camera focus is also real interesting of the artist. 

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Male Member of the same class in the same game.

Lets try for a Bingo!

Unimpressive bingo score, but that just shows how close Amelia was to a decent female armor design before someone decided that a girl knight should go pantless, despite being heavily armored from waist up. 

Also wow, that second big image… Gratuitous upskirt shot while she suffers costume damage? Are we sure this is Fire Emblem, not Kanpani Girls? 

How sad it is that the only images of this character without randomly uncovered legs are low-res sprites from an older game… Gods forbid pants on a female warrior were more than a couple pixels high.

~Ozzie 

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This gem comes from Titan Comics, the publisher behind a couple of disappointments we commented on before (special shout-out to adding boobplate to Dark Souls, of all things). 

Probably saddest part is that Monster Massacre are comic anthologies, and while adult-oriented, most of the stories included do not have the erotic monster girl artwork the covers suggest they would:

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There’s a Jack Kirby horror comic in the first issue! Imagine seeing this as you open a book with cover like that.

~Ozzie

But why though? 

-Icy

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That equal opportunity fan redesign of one Saint Seiya Online armor we reblogged on Friday made us look up more double standard armors from that game… and let’s say we won’t be running out of potential Female Armor Bingo material for some time. 

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This thing really aimed for the stars with all the shamelessly applied bikini armor tropes. I don’t think we got so much of the bingo card cleared in a while! 

Also “nice” bonus of how even when a guy on the model sheets get a pose with more personality, like this one, the lady’s pose still is some variation of “Come play, my lord!”.

~Ozzie

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Generally we try to avoid negatively highlighting indie games for a variety of factors.  

With the exception of a few games that get wide spread attention due to hilarious juxtaposition between what they promise and what look to they deliver (eg Haydee and Axe Princess) we tend to leave them alone.

So why am I bingo’ing The King’s Heroes?  Because, well while Aldorlea Games claims indie status, it’s a bit confusing if you look at their Steam listing sorted by date (showing the oldest here)

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They’re less of an Indie studio and more of a shovelware factory, and while this game does pretend (kind of) to have some male empowerment it also makes the ratio pretty obvious:

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– wincenworks

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So, remember that backlash that’s been occurring to the recent Star Wars movies where many individuals of a specific demographic were morally outraged that there were women portrayed as complex characters rather than disposable sex objects?

Well, the Jedi Knight games creating antagonists like Tavion Axmis, who’s overall goal was to be possessed by a long dead (male) Sith Lord, probably helped them with the delusion that media should be made exclusively for them.

Tavion also had another outfit, which is just as horrible… just in different ways:

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– wincenworks

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Kamihime Project is a strategy game where the player controls a bunch of hot girls mercenaries Goddess Princesses. Wait, where have I heard that before?

This particular lady is apparently Gaia. It’s hard to tell whether there’s any inspiration from the mythological Greek figure… but then again it’s hard to tell anything with this. I just get more confused the more I look at her.

I get the feeling that this game will be making many more appearances on the blog, especially with Creative Characters like these:

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Not to mention their interpretation of Hecatoncheires, the Greek giants with 100 arms and 50 heads….

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I guess the wreath on her head is supposed to mean ‘Greek?’ I just… mm.

-Icy 

Apparently (some of?) those are supposed to be actual figures from different mythologies… This game makes me want to apologize to SMITE, it really hurts.

Also, even though the promo material attempts (if you can call it that) to establish a “personality” for Gaia… it’s amazingly bland and vague AND doesn’t match the character design at all! 

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MUCH CREATIVE!

~Ozzie