2goldensnitches submitted (and Ozzie bingo’d):
Loki from Fire Emblem Heroes. I don’t even know how to describe this.
Remember that Fire Emblem costume seemingly designed with random lasso tool movements followed by CTRL + X? Yeah, that’s hers.
Somehow the whole thing is even worse than any individual part of it. And every part is awful. So I figured she might be in a need of a bingo.
Also thanks to other readers who let us know this character’s name.
~Ozzie
Bingo: Soul Saga
Oh Soul Saga, the distilled essence of 90s comic art… made in the early 2000s. An atrocity we featured on BABD before (decidedly not safe for work… or safe for viewing whenever)… I have one word to summarize it: WHY?
Found the first one while looking through art of Aspen’s late creator, Michael Turner, on EscheGirls. Seems like interior artist for issue #2 (second image) agreed with Turner about the boobs & butt pose, then was selective about the costume elements, like the thigh-high boots.
~Ozzie
Oh Soul Saga, the distilled essence of 90s comic art… made in the early 2000s. An atrocity we featured on BABD before (decidedly not safe for work… or safe for viewing whenever)… I have one word to summarize it: WHY?
Found the first one while looking through art of Aspen’s late creator, Michael Turner, on EscheGirls. Seems like interior artist for issue #2 (second image) agreed with Turner about the boobs & butt pose, then was selective about the costume elements, like the thigh-high boots.
~Ozzie
giantpurplecat submitted:
I got an email notification from Sideshow Toys and saw this statue featured in my email. I’m just questioning how that bra stays on and doesn’t snap and how the bones aren’t piercing her skin. (I imagine they would if she were to move around.) This also feels very BABD Bingo worthy.
It always disappoints me how much detail goes into making high quality figures of such shitty character designs.
Clearly people who translated this atrocity from the comic Fathom into 3D form put a lot more thought and hard work into the toy than late Michael Turner who came up with Aspen’s appearance in the first place.
I think it’s safe to say that we’ll be revisiting at least one figure from that collection sometime soon:
~Ozzie
Speaking of the description:
The Aspen Premium Format™ Figure stands 22” tall atop a helix of water, which swirls and swells under her command. Aspen is stepping through the surf with ease, with windswept hair and a comfortable, confident pose featuring semi-translucent legs as her aquatic abilities are at work. … Fans of the Fathom legacy will recognize Ernie the seahorse frolicking in the waves beneath her feet.
If that is indeed what the creators consider a “comfortable pose,” then they might want to consider doing professional gymnastics. But Ernie the seahorse is indeed the best part of this disaster.
Can we get a solo Ernie statue, please?
-Icy
I have to admit that Oraco has been impressive in their dedication to minimizing the amount of creativity in their designs. Sometimes I joke about some studios using a spinner to pick random design elements, but it seems genuinely possible (example: nature + League of Angels)
Seriously the recycling art assets on the front page and committing to this level of generic imagery, is impressive in a terrible kind of way. Not to mention the combining with @eschergirls type anatomy.
No surprise that it’s not only incredibly generic in gameplay, but often accused of another game which is essentially a game that plays itself (so not quite an asset flip, but close enough it may was well be).
This is why we say that if you’re counting on sex to sell, it’s probably because you don’t have anything worthwhile in your game.
– wincenworks
New SMITE skins
Nais submitted:
So, I was watching the Smite 4.21 patch notes, and I was really impressed by the quality of the skins.
Nemesis’ new skin actually looks like half decent armor, minus the high heels.
Discordia looked cute and mage-y.
And then there was this.
This is “Exterminator Kali”, who is supposed to have a “superhero feel”. She looks like one of those flag girls from car races. Had me going there for a minute with the improvement, Smite…
Ok, that Nemesis skin looks surprisingly interesting and not particularly sexualized in SMITE’s very low standards, especially compared to her default design. It’s not perfect, of course – you mentioned high heels, but there’s also spandex chainmail on her legs and skin-tight material around waist… Though this is probably the closest they ever got to practical female breastplate.
Dicordia could use a longer skirt, but her design at least has some personality, something nonexistent among other goddesses in this game.
As a side note, her lore starts as a coherent story (Eris flees Troy after successfully spreading chaos of war there, reinvents herself as Dicordia) and quickly spirals into something that spits into face of everyone even remotely familiar with Greco-Roman myths and history (she makes a character who is neither the ancestor of Romulus nor
and
Remus the original founder of Rome instead of the twins).
Sometimes I feel this game exists only to troll mythology nerds with blatant disregard for everything that makes those stories and characters special.
Speaking of which, can we ALL, as the humanity, please stop sexualizing the Hindu goddess Kali FOREVER?
What’s video games’ problem with her? There was a super-porny version (NSFW link!) in Rise of the Incarnates (the game doesn’t seem to exist anymore). Overwatch also felt justified in turning this powerful female deity of a living religion into a “sexy” skin for Symmetra, because the character is Indian.
We referenced SMITE’s disgusting treatment of Kali in this 2015 post about exotification and it’s as topical now as it was then:
Other than sporting four arms and blue flesh, that “Exterminator” skin doesn’t even have anything to do with Kali’s default SMITE design. And what’s “superhero” about it, too? The biggest connection I can think of is that she looks like an ultrasexualized Guardians of the Galaxy reject.
~Ozzie
edit: A reader informed us that SMITE Wiki misspells the character’s name in Discordia’s lore: the article says Aeneus, an unrelated Greek mythology character, rather than Aeneas, the protagonist of Virgil’s Aeneid, bridge between Greek and Roman myths and ancestor of Romulus and Remus, the legendary founders of Rome.