Considering how Kitana started, it’s actually kind of amazing they’ve managed to make her costume worse over the years.
– wincenworks
Couldn’t help myself but bingo the Nords: Heroes of the North ladies. And considering how generic most of their ideas look, the results surpassed my expectations by far!
For the love of Freya (no, not this Freya), the “rebel”-haired lady almost broke the bingo O_O
As a side note, our reader
noticed that humans in the game also score a bit of the Rhetoric Bingo, based on info found in this screenshot (full text available here):
Adorned with traditional blue war-paint meant to invoke magical protection and enhance battle skill, Valkyries fight with grace, precision and cold cunning.
Um, at least they don’t outright say whether or not the magical paint actually works?
If it’s of any consolation for all the above absurd, here’s another pic of that exceptionally big viking lady:
Couldn’t say she’s not sexualized at all, or that her costume wouldn’t score some bingo points, but compared to other girls, her look is closer to Heroically Idealized and way more on par with the beefy shirtless men in the game.
~Ozzie
Nords: Heroes of the North* would be a really nice-looking game… if the artists were allowed to put the same kind of effort into female characters as the male ones.
While men have consistently cartoonish proportions and interestingly stylized wardrobes, women fall squarely into the standard of conventionally pretty and thin models clad in bikini armors.
Here’s how male and female orc designs compare:
Also why is this blue-skinned monstrous race generically named orcs and not Jotun, the frost giants? That would give the game more genuine nordic flare and some unique identity.
Much needed identity, considering their elves look like lifted straight from WoW:
Not surprisingly, this title comes from a repeat offender: Plarium, the publisher behind such creatively marketed games as Stormfall and Sparta the War of Empires.
If it’s of any consolation, I found one (1!) lady with design priorities similar to the male characters (at least body type-wise):
Well that’s some impressive female viking. Now give her a proper armor and she’d be almost as awesome as Thora from Jotun! Almost.
~Ozzie
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again – the bikini armored warrrior woman riding an arctic beast trope reached it’s apex in 1990. Just let it go guys, and take comfort in knowing that no matter what you did, it could never have been more awesome than an ad for Schnapps.
– wincenworks
*Nords of North, redundant much?
@sunfishfusions submitted (and Ozzie bingo’d):
Super new to Tumblr and my first time submitting anything but I felt like this is something that belongs on this blog (sorry if it’s already been shared)
I was trying to stream some cartoons online and these were the ads on the sidebar. I love how they put the male characters right next to the female ones for ease of comparison.
Their homepage didn’t really make me feel any better about their character design…
I don’t know about those women, but I really woudn’t want to “come to the defense of Eremos!” without something that might actually… oh… I don’t know…
PROTECT ME FROM LITERALLY ANYTHING.
I think you got those the same way I found Dragon Knigh(t) ads. It’s kinda impressive how many bingo squares can a cropped image score, given the design is generic/awful enough.
Well at least they’re competent enough to promise us “a fantasy realm”, not “fierce battles”. These ladies’ clothes surely can exist only in the realm of fantasy.
~Ozzie