The hilarious front line in the tragic war against ridiculous female armor
Tag: bikini armor battle damage
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Spider ladies, tits and boobies, oh my!
The spider-themed Sadira from Killer Instinct proved to be a much easier fix than first expected. Just giving her poofy pants and limiting the excessive spikes made her look so much less generic! Her silhouette also became significantly more distinct, if I say so myself.
Another tiny fix was making the muted brown accessories, especially the spider belt, a little bit more vivid. I probably should have given that treatment to her whole color scheme. Oh well.
Since I was basically done with all three angles of her model sheet, I’ve spent the rest of the stream adorning it with sketches of boobies and tits… THE BIRDS (every innuendo intended, though).
Now they are the splash of color Sadira really needed.
I stump for Magic the Gathering hard. I often feel like, in a sea of boring design and policies written by the Creepy Marketing Guy, Magic stands out as really trying to do better for inclusivity and diversity, even if it does stumble from time to time.
But this time, they REALLY stumbled.
Behold, from the recent Battlebond set… Royal Trooper!
… like… what the hell.
This is my first time doing one of these bingo cards, so if I missed one or didn’t interpret one properly, let me have it:
Now, the hilarious thing is, I passed this by my fiancee in case I missed one, and she said that the male version of this card was probably better. That sparked an idea, and lo and behold, there was an earlier version of this card:
…it’s also a woman, in MUCH BETTER ARMOUR… FORWARD, Wizards of the Coast. We’re supposed to go FORWARD. Yeesh…
Thanks for subsmission and the commentary! We learned not to have high expectations of Magic and Gathering’s illustrations. At best, they’re a mixed bag.
Both of us ended up getting sick at the same time, so no 50th Stream Extravaganza this week, but we will return next week! We gotta keep that suspense for the final installment, after all.
What the genre needs is more men like this: immaculately groomed in stylish, empowering outfits that let you know they’re both physically powerful, but also emotionally powerful due to their strong connection with their sexuality.
[The title is a double entendre based on one of Azir’s moves in LoL]
For my first Sexy Male Armor redesign, I decided to do a male version of the trend we see with boobs being put on things that really shouldn’t have them. You know, like reptilian humanoids, bug creatures…. this….. so I went with Azir from League of Legends, to turn him into the sexy bird man we all knew he could be (while making many Hatoful Boyfriend references).
I tried to go for realistic-ish anatomy, working all I could from that sensual twist he does in this picture. I also took off all of his unnecessary chest armor. He’s a mage anyway, and we all know mages don’t wear armor. I only kept his arm and head pieces to tie into his belt and legs, and, of course, to frame his pecs, which is the purpose of armor.
Finally, taking inspiration from one of my favorite Sexy Male Armors on this blog (NSFW link), I gave him semi-transparent nipple coverings, and (what has become a trend in my sexy male redesigns, for better or worse) a matching semi-transparent loincloth.
Now Azir can go forth and restore his empire with confidence and empowerment!
-Icy
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5th edition Dungeons and Dragons’ human outlander is one painfully generic archer design, scoring low on bingo mostly due to sheer lack of inventiveness.
Nonetheless, like quite a few official female warrior illustrations from that edition of D&D, biggest problem with her is that she looks almost legit, with some practical-looking shoes, pants and costume made of plausible materials… only to be ruined by nonsensical top, adorned with a pauldron, just as an added insult to the simulated practicality.
~Ozzie
The second most ridiculous thing about this pic is that its followed almost immediately by the rather awesome “Soldier” background’s illustration:
The most ridiculous thing about it is that it represents the “Outlander” background, which is supposed to represent an individual who has lived isolated from society out in the wilderness.
In a weird designer leather bra thing… apparently…
