The hilarious front line in the tragic war against ridiculous female armor
Tag: bikini armor battle damage
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My boyfriend called me while I was at work to tell me about it. He sent me an email with pictures of this new “soldier” and I had to show the women I work with (also Marines, current or former). We couldn’t believe it wasn’t some sort of joke. One of my coworkers even said, “Oh, yeah; she’ll definitely last in combat so long as she isn’t worried about a tit popping out.
But let’s set some things straight first: armor is done primarily to be protective. It sure helps if the design makes the wearer intimidating enough to make the opponents surrender right away, but at its core it was invented as a physical barrier between a person and whatever or whoever threatens their life or health.
That doesn’t mean there isn’t a place for decorative armor in the history. Highly ornamented muscle cuirass (male equivalent of boobplate) was designed to impress and worn by high-standing officers during non-battle special occasions, like parades.
That said, in the world of fiction the distinction between purely functional and decorative armor is not necessary. It’s not real, and unless the setting of choice is gritty life-like naturalism, the armor (and any other design) needs just to be believable, not realistic. We commented on it before.
This is where those two bingo squares come in. Fictional worlds, especially the more fantastic ones, can be stylized, sometimes even to ridiculous degree, as long as all of the world is consistent with its level of stylization. That’s why it’s not inherently bad to have people fight monsters in G-strings… It just needs to all make sense within its own narrative and preferably not be gendered (which basically never happens).
“um starfire’s powers are fueled by the sun that’s why she has to wear skimpy clothes” hey u know who else’s powers are fueled by the sun? superman. come on clark time for that toothfloss speedo chop chop
Bikini Armor Battle Damage always took being as professional as possible as its big priority, and with 3k + followers it is expected to maintain a regular blog schedule, which I can not do on my own (real-life stuff).
With that in mind, from now on I share moderating duties in here with wincenworks who’s been a friend to the cause for a long time and with whom I co-moderate Disqus comments on eschergirls.
