The hilarious front line in the tragic war against ridiculous female armor
A while ago, we got a submission of an Aspen Matthews figurine where she only had 2 1/5 pieces of bone armor on. Tumblr flagged the post as adult content, so here’s a picture:
Turns out, there’s another bone armor version of Aspen! This one has more bones, though I would still call this 2 1/5 pieces of armor collectively, since that torso piece is not a full piece of anything, besides Disappointment.
At least she has biceps? Though they seem to be coming out of her boobs.
-Icy
giantpurplecat submitted:
I got an email notification from Sideshow Toys and saw this statue featured in my email. I’m just questioning how that bra stays on and doesn’t snap and how the bones aren’t piercing her skin. (I imagine they would if she were to move around.) This also feels very BABD Bingo worthy.
It always disappoints me how much detail goes into making high quality figures of such shitty character designs.
Clearly people who translated this atrocity from the comic Fathom into 3D form put a lot more thought and hard work into the toy than late Michael Turner who came up with Aspen’s appearance in the first place.
I think it’s safe to say that we’ll be revisiting at least one figure from that collection sometime soon:
~Ozzie
Speaking of the description:
The Aspen Premium Format™ Figure stands 22” tall atop a helix of water, which swirls and swells under her command. Aspen is stepping through the surf with ease, with windswept hair and a comfortable, confident pose featuring semi-translucent legs as her aquatic abilities are at work. … Fans of the Fathom legacy will recognize Ernie the seahorse frolicking in the waves beneath her feet.
If that is indeed what the creators consider a “comfortable pose,” then they might want to consider doing professional gymnastics. But Ernie the seahorse is indeed the best part of this disaster.
Can we get a solo Ernie statue, please?
-Icy